Glass 
Book 



THE 



SULTAN'S WIVES; 



OR, 



A YISIT TO THE SERAGLIOS. 



By L. DUNNE, 

LATE OF HER MAJESTY'S STORES AT THE BOSPHORUS. 




Jetton : 



J. SHEPPAUD, PRINTER, 30, ROCHESTER ROW, S.W. 

U, .... 



3p 



PREFACE. 



Through the advice of friends I have altered the title of 
this hook. The first edition was called a " Trip to Constanti- 
nople," the " Women of Turkey," &c, &c. When writing it I 
had no idea of its heing published, or that many of the general 
public would see it; I merely intended it for those who passed 
through or resided at Constantinople during the Crimean 
War ; but from the many applications for copies, I am induced 
to have more printed, and to make this alteration, which it is 
thought will agree better with the reading. I have no pre- 
tensions to writing, and when I assure you this is my 
maiden attempt, perhaps you may say " Well, it is not 
so bad for a beginner." In my opinion a person about to 
write his first book, resembles one about to pop the question — 
he is so bewildered to know how to commence ; whereas 
practised writers or widowers do not feel so much concern 
except when pounds, shillings, and pence are in question. 
Some may say that it is all very well, but why do you make 
the alteration if it is not with the idea of making money? 
Decidedly it is ; everyone wishes his undertaking to become 
as successful as possible ; and although I may feel as desirous 
as my neighbours to pocket the cash, still I assure you my 
chief object is to try to prop up a readable sketch of a life in 
the Seraglios — which sketch I give not from heresay or sur- 
mise, but from facts experienced both by Brown and myself. 
I am sorry I have described Brown's visit in the shape of a 
dream, but I thought it would be better to draw a veil of 
mystery over a portion of that midnight adventure when he 
really did visit the fair Belinda — not encumbered with slum- 
ber, but with bis eyes open to the fate which awaited him did 
the eunuchs but perceive him. For a trifling consideration 
an interpreter accompanied him, and thus it is I give so 
detailed an account of their conversation on the roof of the 
Seraglio ; not only Brown but your humble servant received 



letters from the ladies of the Seraglio, which a gentleman, 
who is now at the War Office, can certify, as our Greek 
Interpreter to whom I entrusted the interpretation of a few of 
the letters, informed him of it ; this gentleman having held 
a high position at the Bosphorus, in the Civil Department. If 
any one should doubt my statement, they can, by enquiry, 
easily get to know who he is. There is also a person at the 
Tower, who is aware of it. I mention this merely to 
contradict the assertions of those inexperienced persons 
who state that it was or is impossible to carry on any 
correspondence with inmates of Seraglios. I am glad of this 
opportunity to contradict such statements, as in the absence of 
contradiction, some persons might fancy Brown's visit to 
the Seraglio, and other incidents to which I refer, were 
imaginary ideas, merely made up as home-spun yarns. I am 
aware, that, had a clever writer the opportunity which I had, 
he would be able to draw such a picture of Harem life, that 
would both surprise and amuse those not acquainted with eastern 
customs. I could not pourtray the thrilling as well as enchan- 
ting scenes connected with these abodes of loneliness and 
intrigue ; the principal one, namely, the old Seraglio, which 
is the theme of my narrative, has latterly been consumed by 
fire. I wish it had occurred while we were there, we might 
at least have had an opportunity of assisting the ladies to 
escape from the flames. 

As regards the criticism to which my narrative has been 
subject, I shall merely observe, that, as every one who 
presumes to subscribe himself an author ; must submit to the 
lash of critics, I, as well as others, bow to the decision of the 
respectable portion of them, who impartially introduced it ; 
but those who cannot or will not give an impartial review, as 
it is evident the public do not heed them, I can afford to despise 
them, so long as my book is perused by those for whom it is 
intended, namely, the ladies, and the sensible portion of the 
lords of the creation. I care not how many Joseph Henry 
Theophilus's may read it. There are a few typographical 
errors, but as these are often found in the compositions of clever 
writers, I need scarcely apologize for them. 

L.D. 

Pimlico, London, December 1th, 1863. 



CON T E N T S. 



A Stroll through Galata 8 

The Eunuch's soliloquising address to Belinda — Brown behind the 

scenes : . 14 

The Armenians as Turkish Hack-horses 22 

Dialogue between the Ambassador and his Lady .... 29 

The Porpoise-looking Turk, and Sham Cash-boxes 84 

The English Stores adjoining the Seraglio 38 

Brown's Song 49 

The Eunuchs as Maid s-of- All -Work 59 

Belinda's Song , „ , .... 70 

Brown's Dream — His Visit to the Seraglio, and attempt to release 

Belinda 73 

The Old Seraglio at Stamboul 104 

The Pilgrim's Departure for Mecca . ... 115 

St. Patrick's Day at Constantinople 125 

The Fire 128 

Drowning the Saint 139 

Miss Nightingale at Scutari Hospital 146 

Scutari Hospital at Night , .... 156 

Homeward Bound • .... 164 

Browns Song 177 

Our Fleet at Sea ... 181 

Brown, Jones, and Kobinson at Home 187 

Letter No. 1. — From Brown to Jones and Kobinson 188 

>j » » j? >> » • » • 193 

» „ 3. „ „ „ 199 

„ » 4. „ „ , 204 



A STROLL THROUGH GAL ATA 



Many persons are of opinion that a trip to 
Turkey is accompanied with the most pleasant 
incidents imaginable. I once heard a lady 
remark, that from the description given her of 
the beautiful scenery of the Bosphorus, Con- 
stantinople must be the most delightful place in 
existence. I have no inclination to try to erase 
from the imagination of that lady the charming 
picture she has drawn ; but to verify the old 
proverb, that all is not gold which glitters, I 
would have her accompany me for a walk through 
Constantinople. I propose we start from Galata 
Bridge, and by the time we pass through the 
horrid precincts of Tophana, and arrive at the 
Hotel of all Nations, Para, although the distance 
is not more than a mile or mile and a-half I am 
satisfied my fair companion would cry " Yoke 

B 



4 



A STROLL THROUGH GAL AT A. 



bono," (no good,) and that her enthusiasm for the 
Turks and admiration of Turkey would cease to 
exist. From on board a ship in the Bosphorus, of 
a midsummer's evening, when gazing towards 
the Valley of the Sweet Waters, Princes Island, 
Scutari, or Para, one certainly would imagine 
that Constantinople was, as this lady believes it 
to be, the most delightful place in existence. 
But how disappointed when one enters its streets ! 
if streets I may term them, as the stones by 
which they are supposed to be paved are in many 
instances three or four inches apart ; so that, if 
not most careful in picking your steps, you would 
be certain to leave the heel, sole, or some other 
portion of your boots, to fill up the space. Then 
there are to be met, wandering in every direction, 
droves of starved-looking dogs, which, although 
of too drowsv a nature to be offensive, are never- 
theless disagreeable, and would compel the most 
considerate members of our humane societies to 
have resort to the toe of his boot to make 
room to pass. I once remarked to a Frenchman 
what drowsy-looking animals these Turkish dogs 
were, when, with a shrug of the shoulder, he 
drily replied, that in many instances they 



A STROLL THROUGH GAL AT A. 



5 



strongly resembled their masters ; whom, he 
added, did not mind what amount of kicks or 
cuffs they received, so long as they were per- 
mitted to exist on the crumbs of idleness, and 
crawl unheeded through their filthy resorts of 
wretchedness. The legion of prowling dogs is 
not the only nuisance one has to contend with, 
as there are in almost every locality, but in 
Galata and Stamboul in particular, groups of the 
most mendicant and peculiar-looking beings 
conceivable, who, as a pretence for begging, 
carry with them pipes and other tomfoolery 
commodities, which they not only pitilessly but 
impudently exhort one to purchase. Although 
aware that their trumperies are of no value, yet, 
anxious to get rid of such pests, you give them 
a few piasters, which encourages them to pounce 
with renewed vigour on the next comers. You 
have no sooner got rid of these ex- Petticoat Lane 
traders, and expecting to enjoy an undisturbed 
stroll, than you are accosted by, as they term 
themselves, the proprietors of smoking saloons. 
Being fatigued with constant up-hill travelling, 
occasionally tumbling over dogs and begging 
lamentations, you are anxious for repose ; and 

b 2 



6 



A STROLL THROUGH GALATA* 



hearing so much about these smoking concerns, 
willingly accept the invitation of " Step in 
Johnny ; Bono chabouk." They call all English 
folks Johnny. Bono means good — chabouk sig- 
nifies pipe. You are no sooner seated than your 
curiosity is raised to its highest pitch, by instead, 
as you expected, of only beholding drowsy-looking 
drones of Pashas, or others of the masculine 
gender, you perceive groups of females, who seem 
to enjoy their pipes or cigarettes with as much 
composure and conversational pleasure as might 
be bestowed by a party of Belgravian ladies over a 
cup of coffee or dish of strawberries. Having 
approached as near to the female smokers as the 
rules of the establishment would permit, and 
satisfying yourself that, although apparently 
extensive consumers of that noxious weed, some 
of them were in reality the most beautiful beings 
in existence, you could not help sighing for 
their fate ; and when loosed from the bonds of 
curiosity, if not admiration, which would induce 
one to remain, I cannot say how long, gazing 
upon them, you would feel proud in not belong- 
ing to that nation, where, by indolence and 
forgetfulness, its fairest inhabitants are from 



A STROLL THROUGH GAL AT A. 



7 



their infancy only instructed in the vices of 
idleness and immorality. Your thoughts would 
immediately wander to your native isle ; nor 
could you avoid silently uttering the old saying- 
There is no place like home. For a moment you 
look, as it were, into the unfathomable subter- 
ranean of surmise, and try to perceive the cause 
of degradation and want of self- esteem which is 
manifest in all grades of society ; but you look in 
vain. The dark veil of mystery by which all 
Turkish deeds are covered, prevents the possi- 
bility of your being able to thoroughly understand 
the cause ; still you are satisfied that the blame 
cannot be attributable to these thoughtless 
uneducated girls, who, from their infancy are 
taught to indulge in every species of Harem vices. 
It is well known that when mammas are of opinion 
that their daughters are of that promising caste 
which at some future time might render them 
eligible for the Sultan's, or other first-class 
Harems, they have them instructed in the arts 
of music, singing, and dancing. When studying 
the latter, particular attention is bestowed on 
those of dalliance and other amorous allurements. 
They clothe them in the richest and gayest 



8 



A STROLL THROUGH GALATA. 



attire of their native costume ; and, as regards 
resorting to paint and perfumes, the Turkish 
women excel all others in this artificial mode of 
appearing under false pretences. So far do they 
indulge in this ridiculous and injurious habit, ? 
that they colour their eyebrows and paint their 
finger-nails. And when mammas are of opinion 
that no man, be he Sultan or otherwise, can 
resist their charms, they select a place for 
promenading near the Sultan's Grand Vizier's 
or other distinguished Pashas' residences, where 
they are certain to attract the attention of these 
old sensualists. From the charming prospect 
pictured to their imagination, these young and 
beautiful girls only sigh to participate in the 
pleasures of the Harem : their sole ambition is 
to try to win a Sultan's smile or Pasha's approval. 
Poor simpletons ! they might as hopelessly expect 
to turn night into day as try to gain the affection 
of one or favour of the other. The Sultan 
may deign to smile, but his smile is like that of 
an adder, which may, when its victim is helpless 
before it, say, " Thou mayest tarry yet, as my 
appetite just now does not necessitate thy destruc- 
tion ; but ere you leave thou shalt taste of my poi- 



A STROLL THROUGH GAL AT A. 



9 



son." He may smile on one or more of them, and 
by so doing hasten their destruction ; as no sooner 
do they fancy he looks favourably upon them, 
than their bosoms become steeled with the 
fiendish armour of ambition, jealousy, or revenge. 
The victory they fancy they have temporary 
gained by their beauty and amorous attentions, 
they try to permanently establish by intrigue ; 
all the influence they can command, through 
eunuchs or otherwise, is brought to bear against 
their rivals. War once proclaimed in the Harems, 
there is no probability of peace, except by the 
total annihilation of one, or perhaps both con- 
tending parties, as neither will surrender the 
stronghold they fancy they possess in his Majes- 
ty's affections. But how hopeless are their 
surmises, for after resorting to all manner of 
intrigue and calumny, and anticipating the 
boundless joy of one day becoming Sultana, the 
Sultan unexpectedly visits the Seraglio, when, 
instead of meeting his former favourite wjtlt a 
smile, he greets her with a frown. What is 
the cause of this sudden token of displeasure ? 
She looks inquiringly towards him, but he 
returns not her gaze— a moment suffices to solve 



10 



A STROLL THROUGH GAL AT A. 



the reason. She beholds him intently gazing 
upon a fair accomplished damsel, daughter to a 
rich and powerful Pasha, who on that morning 
was admitted into the Seraglio, and in feverish 
excitement was waiting to be presented by the 
chief eunuch to the Sultan as his favourite, 
because for the time being his last wife. The 
despised one whispers to herself " He is lost to me. 
All my efforts to establish myself in his affections 
have failed ; he is heartless, he is cruel ; I will 
not live, only to be despised. Yet I must be 
revenged." Despair, which in the hour of adversity, 
generally hovers around the fragments of ambition 
and jealousy, whispers in her ear, " Thou shalt be 
the password of scorn and reproach all through the 
Harems. Thou, whom his Majesty once deigned 
to designate as his loveliest and best beloved, art 
now an outcast from his affections, nay, even from 
his society. It is evident from his attention to this 
new, and I must acknowledge, accomplished lady, 
that you can no more pride yourself in being the 
favourite you once were ; and now that thou art 
despised and deprived of what made life a trea- 
sure, namely, a place in his Majesty's affections, 
oaiis't thou live ? If thou cans't, I envy not thy 



A STROLL THROUGH GALATA. 



11 



lot. So fare thee well. But ere I depart, permit 
me to observe that if thou desirest to put an end 
to that existence which henceforth would be but a 
memorial of thy misery and rebuke, thou hadst 
better have recourse to either of those messengers 
of peace " — pointing to a silken cord and cup of 
poison, which among the desponding portion 
(who are not few) of the inmates of Harems, bear 
the titles of messengers of peace. Despair, hav- 
ing successfully advocated the necessity of her 
resorting to either of these messengers of peace, 
departed; and, ere his serpentine words had died 
upon her ears, she flew to his proposed remedy, 
and in that hour of desperation put an end to 
her existence. Such is the manner in which the 
dreams, the hopes, and anticipated pleasures of 
many of these beautiful girls are extinguished in 
the sunshine of their youth. > Sad is their fate 
while living ! their only desire is to try to win the 
smile of him who cannot entertain the least spark 
of affectionate feeling for any particular one of 
them. Their beauty, companionship, and girlish 
innocence, is by him only esteemed in the same 
light as boys esteem their toys, which, when a 
short time in their possession, they long to have 



12 



A STROLL THROUGH GAL AT A. 



replaced by others of a more pleasing, because 
newer description. A life in the Harems is a 
wretched existence, for, notwithstanding that 
everything which money or skill can produce is 
placed at the disposal of their inmates, still 
there is a void, a dull desponding space, which 
neither the presence of gilded saloons nor rich 
draperies can ever supply; there is in the 
bosoms of their occupants, a doubt and a fear 
which, in the royal presence, may be hushed or 
subdued, partly through hope and partly through 
respect; but the moment the Sultan departs from 
the reception room, or what is commonly called 
the Bower of Pleasure, when the ladies return to 
their solitary apartments, despair again hovers 
around them, as on their return they have no one 
to greet them except their forbidding looking 
eunuchs, who address them in something of the 
following style, for the accuracy of which I can 
vouch, as one of three persons to whom I will 
presently introduce to you, happened tostealatrip 
in the eunuch's absence to his lady's apartments. 
You have often heard of gallants, on the unexpec- 
ted arrival of the master or mistress^ having to 
take refuge in the coal-hole or other such hiding 



A STROLL THROUGH GALATA. 



13 



place. Well, I assure you, my friend had to resort 
to a more strange place of concealment, which, 
fortunately for him, turned out to be the most 
secure he could have selected, as the wily eunuch 
on his return, with his wonted surmising instinct, 
searched all other conceivable places ; and when 
satisfied that no other unprivileged individual 
was nigh, he addressed her as follows, upon the 
disappointment she experienced in not being the 
chosen of the Sultan on his visit that morning. 



THE EUNUCH'S SOLILOQUISING 
ADDRESS TO BELINDA. 



BKOWN BEHIND THE SCENES. 

Me werry sorry, misses, dat de Sultan had not 
better taste and more sense dan not to accept thy 
company for dis day. Me did all dat could be done 
to make thee look the prettiest ; me plaited your 
hair so beautiful, painted your eyebrows, cheeks, 
and finger nails so life-like, and arranged your 
crinolines and the tother numerous unmention- 
ables so skilfully, that when you were tripping 
along the lawn, the birds on the trees used to ask 
each other who you were, from whence you came, 
or would you always remain with them, when 
their melody should ever be poured forth in your 
praise ; and this, misses* I assure you was a high 
tribute to be paid by the feathered songsters of 



THE EUNUCH'S SOLILOQUISING ADDRESS TO BELINDA* 15 

the old Seraglio, as many a time from their high 
perches have they beheld a lovely bride joyfully 
hasten to meet his Majesty at the Bower of 
Pleasure, but never did they or could they behold 
one more exquisitely charming than you were 
this morning ; and although I do not desire to 
claim any portion of praise, still my taste and 
attention may have added a little to the natural 
loveliness of thee, whom no one except his Majesty 
could forbear loving." Ere he had finished the 
last sentence, a eunuch who acts as equerry to the 
Sultan during his visits to the Seraglio, tapped at 
the door and informed Belinda (as I will hence- 
forth term her) that it was his Majesty's desire 
she should, on the morrow, attend at the annual 
ceremony of witnessing the departure of the Pil- 
grim for Mecca. She informed him it gave her 
much pleasure to comply with his Majesty's com- 
mands; " But," returned this representative of 
royalty, " you forget, lady, that this is nocommand, 
but a favour. On to-morrow, when the Pashas and 
elite of Constantinople will be assembled at 
Seraglio Point, to witness the Pilgrim's de- 
parture, his Majesty deems it a favourable op- 
portunity of proving by the presence of the ladies 



16 



THE EUNUCH'S SOLILOQUISING 



of the Harems that he has made a judicious 
choice in his selection of the fair and noble 
Aurora as his favourite wife." " Am I to under- 
stand you," interrupted Belinda, "that his Majesty 
is on the morrow resolved to parade this high- 
born prude, and, by our presence, signify that 
we are satisfied she should be his favourite ? 
Never ! Tell his Majesty that I, for one, will not, 
by my presence, encourage such a hope. I 
would prefer resorting to either the silken cord 
or cup of poison, sooner than submit to behold 
this would-be accomplished Circassian occupy 
that place in his Majesty's affections which 
others should possess. I do not, by these 
remarks, mean to infer that I am entitled to, 
or ever hoped to become the possessor of, that 
shadowy treasure ; but if every girl in her teens, 
the moment she enters the Harem, can attract 
his Majesty's attentions, it strikes me that it is 
time to have some remedy applied which might 
cause his Majesty's affections to become a little 
more lasting. There are many of us, who, since 
our admission into this purgatorial place, have 
never shared his society, nor are we allowed to 
hold converse with any other lord of the 



ADDRESS TO BELINDA. 



17 



creation. There are three Engleteras stationed 
in charge of her Britannic Majesty's stores, and 
sent from that great nation to aid us ; yet, 
although they reside close to us, we must not, 
we dare not, so much as welcome them. The 
laws of our country will not allow us to even 
hold converse with Christians. What an absurd, 
tyrannical prohibition ! I am sure these Engla- 
teras are noble and generous, and deem us the 
most uncouth of beings for the coldness we 
manifest towards them ; but it is not our fault 
if they be not welcomed in that friendly and 
polite manner which their mission and courtesy 
deserve." " You have become so sentimental con- 
cerning these Englateras," replied the equerry, 
" that you forget I am impatiently waiting to 
convey to his Majesty your consent or refusal 
to attend at the morrow's ceremony. Pray, 
which of the two, your first or last reply, am 
I to take to his Majesty?" To this query he 
received no reply, as poor Belinda, so overcome 
with the numerous conflicts of the mind, and 
disappointments of the day, fell into a swoon 
which claimed the attendance of her eunuch, 
and caused the departure of the equerry, who 



18 the eunuch's soliloquising 



on his return to the Sultan, found his Majesty 
in anything but a pleasant mood. His Majesty 
first inquired the cause of delay, and next the 
reply, which puzzled the equerry to satisfactorily 
answer; after muttering something about Mecca 
and to-morrow, he informed his Majesty that in 
consequence of Belinda becoming suddenly ill, 
she could not decide. "111!" replied his Majesty, 
" and pray what is the cause of her illness ? 
Some Greek adventurer, I doubt not, has been 
serenading about the Seraglio — or perhaps it 
may be that she sighs to go to England ? I did 
not like the attentions paid to some of the ladies, 
but to one in particular, on the occasion of our 
last visit to the English stores, when one of these 
Engiateras, from the raising of his hat and other 
marked attentions, impressed me with the belief 
that some other motive pervaded his thoughts 
beside complimenting me. Let what I now 
command be strictly adhered to. No more are 
the ladies of the Harems to promenade in the 
ground adjoining the English stores. Sick ; let 
me see, I cannot bring to mind to which lady 
this Englatera paid such attention — can you 
assist my memory, Melcon ? " addressing the 



ADDRESS TO BELINDA. 



19 



chief eunuch : " No, most powerful and gracious 
master, but methinks I can tell thee what can. 
Me bring thee all the ladies' photographs, and by 
reviewing them, your gracious Majesty may be 
able to bring to mind which of their originals it 
was to whom that dog of a Christian dare pay 
such attention/' "Excellent," replied his Majesty; 
"bring me instantly the likenesses." But ere the 
cunning eunuch had time to carry out his resolve, 
a messenger arrived from the telegraph office 
with the disagreeable news that the Eussians 
had gained the day at Sebastopol — had burned 
the allied fleet, killed all the allied soldiers, and 
were victoriously marching towards Constanti- 
nople. This sudden and disagreeable news so 
prostrated the still Sultan, that for a considerable 
time he was pronounced lifeless, and from this has 
sprung one of the insinuations that the sick man 
was pronounced incurable. The fact of this false 
alarm arriving at so favourable a moment saved 
poor Belinda from a severe chastisement, as a look 
at the likenesses would bring to his recollection 
that it was to her the Englatera paid such atten- 
tion. This, with refusing to attend at the morrow's 
ceremony, would be sufficient to induce him to 

c 



20 



THE EUNUCH'S SOLILOQUISING 



discard her, whereby she would be subject to all the 
torture which jailor- eunuchs might think proper 
to inflict. As it is an ill wind that blows nobody 
good news, the rumour of the Russians gaining 
so decisive a victory, although spreading conster- 
nation among the Mussulman population, but 
particularly among the inmates and proprietors 
of Harems, was a talisman of joy to Belinda, as 
it saved her from being arraigned before his 
Majesty, accused of carrying on clandestinely 
a correspondence with an Englatera ; and with a 
jury composed of eunuchs and rival ladies, she, 
no doubt, would be found guilty of inconstancy 
and compelled to submit to its horrid penalties. 
When recovered from her swoon, she reviewed in 
as short a space of time as possible the strange 
incidents of the day, and anticipated the fo,nd 
hope of hearing of the Englatera's safe return to 
his comrades, who were beginning to become 
anxious about his absence. They knew he often 
gazed towards a certain westerly window ; but 
they had no idea he would venture on the perilous 
mission of striving to get to whisper the gospel 
of love in the ears of Belinda ; but where there is 
a will there is mostly a way, so that most likely 



ADDRESS TO BELINDA. 



21 



he did not contemplate on the seriousness of 
his undertaking, or, if he did, that he was re- 
solved to risk the danger for the gratification of 
having, as he imagined, an undisturbed interview 
with her. But the old saying that lovers' paths 
are more frequently strewn with thorns than roses, 
was fully verified on that occasion ; so much so, 
that he had on the first opportunity, without 
uttering good night, to stealthily bolt from his 
hiding place, and the night being dark and 
stormy, which caused the sentinels to remain in- 
doors, he safely arrived at his quarters. When 
leaving his hiding place a rat-tat announced the 
second arrival of the equerry, whom I will for the 
present leave in stormy debate with Belinda, and 
again continue my trip through Galata and 
Para. 



c 2 



THE ARMENIANS AS TURKISH 
HACK-HORSES. 



After bestowing a last look on the fair smokers, 
and fancying you might then be permitted to 
enjoy an undisturbed stroll through Para, you 
are no sooner emerged from the smoky region 
of Galata, than you are, if not on the alert, thrown 
on all-fours by gangs of Armenians, who, like bul- 
locks in harness, cany enormous freights of mer- 
chandise, or other commodities. It is surprising 
to witness the immense weight which four or six 
of these can contrive to carry on poles, which rest 
upon their shoulders. The Armenians of Turkey 
may justly be termed the Turkish hack-horses. 
In Constantinople there are no such things as 
waggons, carts, or such mode of mercantile con- 
veyances ; there are some trumpery things called 



THE ARMENIANS AS TURKISH HACK-HORSES. 23 

arabagees, which consist of a few flat boards 
nailed together, with an imitation of axletree and 
wheels ; these are mostly drawn by two old cows 
whose milking days having long expired, and 
when no longer able to stand under the arabagee, 
are killed. Did I say killed ? Oh no, I made a 
serious mistake, as mostly all of them die without 
the aid of a butcher, and their meat is, by the 
Turks, not only deemed delicious and delicate, 
but highly flavoured. Nor can I see how it could 
be otherwise, considering the quantity of garlic 
and other strong scented garbage with which they 
savour it. Constantinople is so situate that, were 
it in the possession of more enlightened and 
business people than the lazy drones who now 
possess it, they would find it almost impossible 
to carry on their general traffic with vehicles. 
There are no such nice conveyances to be seen 
dashing about with their fair and fascinating 
occupants, as carriages, phaetons, chaise or 
'busses. The Sultan has a few obsolete-looking 
cabs which the eunuchs term Misses' carriages, 
but which are not in workmanship or appearance 
equal to our third-class cabs or old hackney 
coaches. With these representatives of olden 



24 



THE ARMENIANS 



times they can only drive from the old Seraglio, 
Stamboul, over Galata Bridge, through Tophana, 
to the New Palace of Dolma Baktche ; the other 
portions of Constantinople are too up-hill for 
coaches or cab driving ; sedan chairs are all the 
ton, particularly for the lady portion, and more 
especially on the occasion of going to the opera. 
There being no lamps or lights of any description 
in the streets, each individual has to carry a 
lantern made of paper, containing a small piece 
of candle, which, if by a sudden gush of wind or 
other casualty, happening to become extinguish- 
ed, its bearer is left in the dark, most likely ankle- 
deep in mud and wet, and at the mercy of 
brigand Greeks who infest every lonely locality, 
from whence, if an opportunity presents, they 
pounce upon you, and not only rifle your pockets, 
but make you taste of their daggers, which 
they keep concealed under their wolfish cloth- 
ing. I saw floating on the water at Galata 
Bridge one Sunday morning, as many as four 
corpses of sailors, who, there is not the least 
doubt, were inveigled by these assassins into 
some of the horrid dens about Galata, and 
when eased of their money, to verify the old 



AS TURKISH HACK-HORSES. 



25 



saying, that " dead men can tell no tales," they, 
after murdering them, sent their bodies to find 
a bed in the bottom of the billows. My friends 
at the Tower can certify that. Except we were 
armed to the teeth and mustering at least half- 
a-dozen strong, we could not, with any certainty 
of escaping the daggers of these midnight assas- 
sins, venture through many portions of Galata 
after dark. The lady who so much admires 
Turkey would, I fancy, find it a disagreeable 
operation to have to pass through any portion of 
Constantinople after dusk — their is a deal of 
difference in walking their and through the 
shady side of Belgravia. But, as the saying tells 
us, when people go to Rome, they must do as 
Rome does, so with our fair ones ; whenever they 
venture out after dusk, except they preferred 
walking ankle-deep in mud and wet, they had to 
avail themselves of a chair ride. I can never 
forget with what feelings of pleasure I one night 
witnessed two cavalry officers get what may be 
termed a thorough ducking while waiting out- 
side the opera door to convey the Desdemona to 
her lodgings. These gallants, although in full 
dress uniform and the rain coming down in 



26 



THE ARMENIANS 



torrents, never left their post, which was situate in 
a dark corner near the back entrance to the opera, 
their charge being an empty sedan chair, which 
they had in anticipation of having the honour of 
carrying this coquetting Italian to her villa in the 
suburbs of Para. But alas ! this ex-nightingale 
proved to be as false as she was fair ; she gave 
them the slip, and left our heroes to return with 
the empty chair, and, if they felt inclined, to sing 
that applicable song, " We've got no work to do-oo. 
We've got no work to do-oo." They must have 
been much mortified on finding that the bird had 
flown, and that they, after so long and heroically 
braving the brunt of the rain and storm, had to 
retreat without their dear little songster. That has 
not been the only occasion on which I beheld 
gallants rebuked or disappointed for their 
painstaking. But, as disagreeable repulses were 
experienced by almost everyone while at Con- 
stantinople, I must not be too pointed with any 
particular case. I am surprised that none of the 
ladies who were located in Turkey during the 
Crimean War, and who had ample oppor- 
tunities afforded them of seeing the necessity 
of alteration being made in the costume and 



AS TURKISH HACK-HORSES. 



2.7 



habits of the Turkish women — instead of sup- 
plying the readers of certain journals with milk- 
and-water accounts of Turkish baths, have not 
written a bold and correct account of the tyranny 
exercised over the women, and by so doing 
endeavour to enlist public sympathy in their 
behalf, which, if once thoroughly enlisted, would 
go far in breaking the chains of tyranny and 
contempt by which they are so mercilessly 
bound. It is all very well for a lady after she 
becomes the guest of a distinguished Pasha, to 
write in favour of his magnificent baths ; we are 
all aware of the luxury by which these good-for- 
nothing drones are surrounded. Would it not be 
more preferable to hear of a lady, although she 
enjoyed the hospitality of these opium-consumers, 
to act the more noble part of proclaiming the 
iniquity by which they are surrounded ? Of 
course, it answered Pasha's purposes to forward 
invitations to English ladies, and be seemingly 
most amiable and attentive to them — as what 
lady, after being received so hospitally as to have 
black attendants to carry her out of bed, and 
almost unconsciously place her in one of those 
Harem paradises adjoining the baths — what lady 



28 THE ARMENIANS AS TURKISH HACK-HORSES. 



could, after having these and many other delicate 
attentions lavished upon her, turn round and 
write against the folly or immorality of that dear 
old man having over a dozen or as many young 
wives as he possibly could keep ? Away with the 
Harems, and the hereditary claims of levying 
taxes for a plurality of wives, and Turkey may yet 
represent a bright figure in the Map of Nations ! 



DIALOGUE BETWEEN THE AMBASSA- 
DOR AND HIS LADY. 



I peesume all of you are aware that an 
ambassador in a country like Turkey reigns 
almost as regal as the potentate at whose court 
he is ambassador ; he is a great man — can as 
cleverly wield the wand of power abroad as stem 
the tide of public opinion at home, and by the 
length of his official despatches show that he is 
hard worked, that his mind is engrossed with 
foreign affairs which chiefly tend to home matters. 
Nor is his lady much behind her lord in unravell- 
ing the knotty intricacies of diplomacy ; she by her 
smile or " How do you do, Monsieur ? " is able very 
often to smooth the most ruffled waves of opposi- 
tion, and by her graceful appearance in the ball- 
room, command the respectful attention, if not 



30 



DIALOGUE BETWEEN THE 



admiration, of all Knights of the Garter. That lord 
who is anything of a diplomatist, and that lady who 
can nimbly lead off in a galloping polka or waltz, 
are sure, during their ambassadorship, to lie upon 
a bed of roses ; although in a country like Turkey, 
where the laws are so rotten and the government 
on so tottering a foundation, an occasional thorn 
may appear among the roses ; but it no sooner 
appears than the lady ambassadress, with her 
wand of smiles, compels it to depart. Hence it is 
that bachelor ambassadors, although carrying 
with them ever so plentiful a supply of efficient 
credentials of public estimation, can but seldom 
wind up their tenure of office so satisfactorily as 
he who has a helpmate, who, with her smile or 
" Good morning," can banish dull care. 

On conversing one evening with an intelligent 
old Greek, who, when in a talkative mood, would 
go a-head, our conversation turned upon the 
responsibility and influence attached to the post 
of ambassador, when my old acquaintance said, 
" An ambassador is all very well in his place ; he 
can do either a deal of good or a deal of harm. It 
is all very well for him to laud this or that Sultan, 
or praise the straightforward policy of this or 



AMBASSADOR AND HIS LADY. 



31 



that Pasha, while at the same time, he can, with 
a glance from his cosy bower, behold one of the 
most shaky constitutional fabrics in existence. 
Nay, more ; he has only to look in the direction of 
the old Seraglio, Stamboul, and from that catacomb 
of immorality and iniquity he can trace all the 
destructive machinery which causes the Turkish 
Empire to be placed in so unenviable a position." 
" I must confess," said he, that were I ambassador, 
I might, for the sake of a reign of smiles from 
Sultanas or quietness from fanatical priests during 
my ambassadorship, let well alone, and do as my 
predecessors had done, not trouble myself with 
what might cause me a deal of correspondence, 
some ill-will, and no profit." 

An ambassador's lady may, when passing 
through Galata, Tophana, or other precincts of 
wretchedness and crime, on her return to the 
embassy be resolved to intercede for an 
alteration of the laws which causes such 
wretchedness. But on her ladyship's return to 
Para, she beholds a mounted lacquey depart from 
the embassy. When she enters her fairy-like 
apartments, in her recollection may still linger 
the amount of misery she beheld. She seats 



32 



DIALOGUE BETWEEN THE 



herself with all the determination imaginable to 
truly represent to her husband the wretchedness 
she perceived, and the evils which she is satisfied 
to a great extent caused it, namely, indifference 
towards women and encouragement of Harems ; 
but ere her ladyship's resolve arrives at maturity, 
or that she has even baptised it with the name of 
" I shall," her husband presents himself, and, after 
expending the usual amount of soft sawder which 
it is said married folks keep in reserve for the 
occasion of their better-halves' return after a 
pleasure or exploring journey, his lordship 
informs her ladyship that Ali Somebody had just 
dispatched a courier, inviting them — this being 
his highness's birth-day — to partake of his hos- 
pitality at his princely mansion on the banks 
of the Bosphorus. Her ladyship at first displays 
signs of unwillingness to accept the invitation, 
but his lordship, with his usual power of diplo- 
matic persuasion, soon convinces her that by 
attending it would add much to their popularity 
among the well-to-do portion of the Mussulman 
population. Her ladyship consents ; and from 
the homage paid them as the chief representatives 
of so powerful a nation as- , they are 



33 



AMBASSADOR AND HIS LADY. 



no doubt, highly delighted — so much so, that 
henceforth the misery-stricken portion of the 
population find no place in their consideration. 
It is impossible for any, except those who 
have been intimately connected with embassies, 
to form anything like a correct estimate of 
all the agreeable advantages to be derived 
from attending ministerial or other Eastern 
anniversary dinners; but neither the pleasure 
to be derived from attending Pashas' banquets, 
nor of meeting a Sultan on the quiet at Tophana, 
will ever stimulate the indolent Turks to turn 
their attention to industry, nor cause the sove- 
reignty of the nations these ambassadors repe- 
sent to be one whit the more respected at 
Constantinople. 



THE PORPOISE LOOKING TURK AND 
SHAM CASH-BOXES. 



I will, for the present, leave the grand province 
of Para, and direct my course to Seraglio 
Point or Stamboul, where, on one's arrival, the 
smell of garlic and tobacco which proceeds from 
provision stalls and smoking saloons would almost 
stifle Old Nick. On arriving in this truly Mus- 
sulman locality, my attention was first attracted 
by beholding a Turk of herculean dimensions 
— at least so far as bloated flesh constituted him — 
who, with the aid of two black slaves, was en- 
deavouring to crawl from his door to the corner 
of a verandah, about thirty yards distant ; and 
although this porpoise-looking individual was 
neither maimed or ill, but through sheer lazi- 
ness, it took him, with the assistance of his 



THE P0B.P0ISE-L00KING TURK AND SHAM CASH-BOXES 35 

slaves, full ten minutes to accomplish the jour- 
ney, when by the aid of the slaves, he contrived 
to get seated on a low stool ; it then took him 
nearly as long to get his legs crossed, which I 
afterwards learned is customary among Turks 
when about to indulge in a few hours' smoking. 
His legs crossed which seemed to be a trying 
operation, the next part of the performance was 
to see that his huge pipe was properly charged 
and in smoking order. When satisfied on this 
point, he commenced action, when puff, puff 
went the smoke, until a stranger would imagine 
he was about to convert the whole locality into a 
smoky region. Although I mention this por- 
poise-looking individual in particular, I after- 
wards found that thousands of others imitate his 
horrid lazy example. When not smoking their 
pipes, or lounging in smoking saloons, they are 
lolling with their wives ; and when going any 
distance from their residences, be it ever so 
short, they must ride upon a gentle Arabian 
horse, and not only have to be lifted into the 
saddle, but have to be accompanied by half-a- 
dozen lacqueys, four of whom it takes to hold 
him on horseback, and two to act as outriders on 

D 



36 



THE PORPOISE -LOOKING TURK 



foot — yes, on foot. You may laugh at the idea, 
but it is a fact which cannot be denied. If he 
be what is termed a well-to-do Pasha, has a 
select Harem, and at least a dozen young wives, 
besides the six attendants on foot, he is accom- 
panied by two on horseback, who act as pipe 
and purse-bearers ; the former carries the pipe, 
and, when arrived at their destination, be it the 
House of Representatives or otherwise, sees that 
it is in smoking order, and with a full charge 
presents it to his master. Only think of one of 
our dukes or earls, on arriving at the House of 
Lords, pulling out a huge pipe and commence 
smoking ! would he not very soon have many anx- 
ious friends who would assert that the poor dear 
fellow was not capable of managing his own affairs, 
but they as friends should be appointed to look 
after his pounds, shillings and pence department ? 
The other carries with him not a purse, although 
bearing the title of purse-bearer, but a tin box 
which, from appearance, as it rests upon the 
horses' shoulders, is large enough to contain 
more money than the government possesses. 
This personage is supposed, when on their route, 
to receive petitions ; if any of them be soli- 



AND SHAM CASH-BOXES. 



37 



citing relief, and on examining them he believes 
their authors or bearers to be deserving of aid, 
he is supposed to relieve them — but there is a 
world-wide difference between Turkish supposing 
and doing. This mock show of purse-bearer is, 
like all other Mussulman pretensions, only an 
absurdity , a poor beggarly appendage, which exists 
but in show and name. I do not believe these 
sham cash-boxes contain a piaster (two pence). 
I resided for nearly two years in the vicinity of 
Stamboul, where I daily beheld groups of starved- 
looking individuals present petitions or solicit 
assistance, but never did I witness a purse-bearer 
exercise the benevolent duty of relieving one of 
them. So much for Turkish show, Turkish 
generosity, and Turkish absurdity ! 



THE ENGLISH STORES ADJOINING 
THE SERAGLIO. 



In close contact with the old Seraglio is a gloomy- 
looking pile of buildings, which were at one time 
converted into stables for the accomodation of the 
horses belonging to the Harems ; but for many 
years previous to the Crimean War it remained 
unoccupied, save by myriads of rats of all sizes and 
colours. During the war, the Sultan, having no 
other suitable or unoccupied building, granted a 
portion of this not very domesticated-looking 
concern to our Government, as a depot for 
stores and quarters for those who were in charge 
of them. For many years previous to the war 
no one, much less Christians, was allowed to 
reside so near the old Seraglio ; so that the idea 
of three or four Englateras, as the Turks called 



THE ENGLISH STORES ADJOINING THE SERAGLIO. 39 

them, occupying quarters not a stone's throw 
from the Seraglio, in which were over one hundred 
of as beautiful and fascinating ladies as eyes could 
behold, almost sent their eunuchs into hysterics. 
Lest these Englateras should start on a moon- 
light expedition, having ladders of ropes as their 
crafts, revolvers as their rudders, swords as their 
pilots, and one or more of the ladies in view as 
the fair prize they wished to capture, the 
eunuchs, knowing that these witching ladies were 
as much maids or widows as wives, the more 
dreaded the arrival of their new neighbours ; and 
from the first evening they arrived, never did a 
cat more attentively watch the movements of a 
mouse than did these black forbidding-looking 
niggers watch those who were in charge of the 
stores. From the roof of this habitation (if 
habitation I may term it, where three foremen, 
two assistants, and a cooper, resided) access to 
the Seraglio was not, as most people believe it, 
impossible. The roof of the Seraglio is almost 
flat, and covered with a kind of felt or zinc. The 
building is very large, and in shape not unlike 
Somerset House. I was surprised on first be- 
holding several eunuchs sauntering on its roof. 



40 



THE ENGLISH STORES 



There is a winding staircase leading from the 
principal corridor on the ground floor to the 
Royal Minaret, situate on the eastern side of the 
roof, and to which the chief eunuch and half-a- 
dozen subordinates proceed previous to each of 
the Sultan's visits to the Seraglio ; and from the 
top of this minaret, which is towering hundreds 
of feet above the surface of the Bosphorus, the 
eunuchs very often keep up a cry from sunrise 
till sunset. They shout to Mahomed, whom 
they believe to be suspended in the clouds, and 
constantly looking down upon them ; they 
exhort him to intercede with Allah their god, 
first, to bless and protect the Sultan, who is their 
chief in spiritual as well as temporal matters ; 
next to exercise his benign influence over the 
ladies of the Harems, so that they may not be 
tempted to wander from the path of constancy 
and devotion, which, according to the doctrine 
of the Koran, solely belongs to the Sultan. 
The moment this favourite prayer is heard from 
the occupiers of the Royal Minaret, it is echoed 
from one to the other of the hundreds of such re- 
positories of blasphemy which abound in Con- 
stantinople, but particularly in Stamboul. 



ADJOINING THE SERAGLIO. 



41 



It is the greatest folly imaginable to think that 
a Turk will ever be but a Turk, so long as he is 
taught to look upon all kinds of Christians as 
his deadliest of enemies. Promises of reform 
may be held out, and pretended tokens of 
friendship lavished upon a certain class of Chris- 
tians ; but there is a motive in these promises 
and manifestations ; there is no idea of establish- 
ing them permanently. No Sultan, under pre- 
sent circumstances, dare, if he felt ever so well 
inclined, attempt to broach a general reform : 
he is but the tool of the priests and ladies of the 
Harems ; and the interest of the one is so bound 
up in that of the other, that were he ever so 
well inclined to grant concessions, he cannot, he 
dare not, carry out his resolve. Yet it is a pity 
that there is not the least prospect of this people 
becoming free, or adopting European habits. It 
is a beautiful land, and, if properly cultivated, 
could be made to team with nature's richest 
produce. 

As my object is merely to show that although 
a beautiful clime and delightful scenery, a 
trip to Turkey is not attended with those 
pleasing incidents which one might expect to 



42 



THE ENGLISH STORES 



find stream on his path ; and as newspaper 
correspondents and occasional flying visitors are 
I am happy to find, beginning to show the folly 
of expecting reform, and describing the agricul- 
tural resources of the country, I need not dwell 
upon these matters ; although I wish to observe 
that I would much regret seeing any of our coun- 
try people take the bait which has been tempt- 
ingly thrown out for them with regard to their 
becoming purchasers of Turkish land, and going 
to permanently reside among the Turks. Before 
entertaining such an idea, I would advise them 
to engage quarters in that by-all-account not 
very comfortable place called " Limbo." A few of 
my comrades, who are now at the Tower, can 
testify that, from the moment the English and 
French armies commenced embarking, until we 
left with the last of the stores, some three weeks or 
a month later, neither night nor day were we sure 
of our lives. From the strong rumour which pre- 
vailed at Scutari that the Stamboul fanatics 
were resolved to murder us, we, at any hour 
of the night or day, had to be prepared to warmly 
receive them. Whether they got scent of our 
precaution or not, I cannot say ; but it is certain 



ADJOINING THE SERAGLIO. 



43 



that their manner towards us became very much 
altered from the moment the last of our soldiers 
departed. Then how would people fare who might 
be induced to go to reside in some rural locality ? 
Some persons' eyes will never become thoroughly 
opened to the fact that all Mahomedans are 
bound by the precepts of the Koran to use every 
possible means in putting an end to Christianity. 
If fresh proof be needed, we have only to look to 
Cawnpore, Lucknow, or Syria, where their blood- 
thirsty deeds towards women and helpless children 
will by future historians be written in characters 
which cannot be mistaken as to their treachery 
and barbarity. I will not embitter my remarks 
by referring to many brutal and cowardly deeds 
committed by them even upon those who went 
to assist in upholding them in their reign of bar- 
barity and feebleness. During the feast of the 
Ramaizon and other festive occasions, those in 
charge of the English stores adjoining the old 
Seraglio* experienced many sleepless nights, as 
both priests and laymen kept constantly shouting 
from the tops of minarets, and eunuchs patrolling 
by the stores, so that no Englatera might steal a 
trip to the Seraglio. Yet, residing as they were 



44 



THE ENGLISH STORES 



for nearly two years in such close contact with so 
many pining beauties, it was scarcely possible, 
although the eunuchs might be ever so watchful, 
that some of them did not venture upon a moon- 
light or peep-o'-day cruise. I fancy I hear some 
of you, particularly the female portion, remark, 
that if they did not venture they were good-for- 
nothing. Some of them who left their better 
halves at home, pretended that they did not care 
about trying to get to converse with the nymphs 
of the Seraglio. On returning home they would 
have been recommended for medals of constancy, 
only it transpired that it was not so much for the 
sake of constancy, as fear of the eunuchs, that 
caused them to pretend to be so very constant. 
Still it was a good pretence to keep clear from 
the iron grasp of the eunuchs, while on the quiet 
they could visit the gay portions of Galata or 
Para. 

I will now, with all due respect and solemnity, 
introduce you to the interior of the domicile in 
which, on their first arrival, these three foremen 
resided ; and to add to the solemnity of the occasion 
permit me to introduce you at dusk of evening, 
when in that uninhabited locality not a voice or 



ADJOINING THE SERAGLIO. 



45 



a sound was to be heard, except the occasional 
mew of the owl 5 the yell of a eunuch who wished it 
to be understood that he was alive and stirring, 
or the squealing and gnawing of invisible in- 
habitants to which I will presently call your 
attention. When arrived at the threshold of this 
dilapidated-looking ruin, which is seven or eight 
hundred yards long, and fifty or sixty wide, 
you perceive in the distance a faint glimmer of 
light. On inquiry from one of the Armenians 
who worked in the stores, you are told it is the 
light of the parlour lamp belonging to the 
Englateras in charge of the stores. On this 
announcement you feel anxious to see this pecu- 
liar parlour, and its no doubt peculiar occupants ; 
the Armenian acts as your escort, by constantly 
shouting out " This way, Johnny." They call all 
English folks Johnny, so that if a lady, by pur- 
chasing their tomfooleries or otherwise, please 
them, instead of addressing her as they do the 
men by saying " Bono Johnny," they cry out " Bono 
Cookanna Johnny." Well, on your route, as the 
Armenian tells you of the parlour lamp, after 
many times getting capsized, battering your 
shins against heaps of rubbish, and occasionally 



46 



THE ENGLISH STORES 



descending to the hips through holes made by 
rats, you at length arrive at the parlour lamp ; 
when you look rather suspiciously around you, 
and begin to fear you have been made the dupe 
of some conspiring villain, as you look in vain 
for any emblem of parlour appearance. Pre- 
sently you perceive three solitary-looking 
individuals, seated on planks, or lounging on 
mattresses, their Eastern substitute for sofas, and 
who, for expedition-sake, I will title Brown, 
Jones, and Robinson. Each of them is humming 
to himself, but loud enough to be heard by all, 
three remarkable, and perhaps, for the occasion, 
suitable songs. Robinson's selection was " Home, 
sweet home;" Jones's, " The girl I left behind 
me;" and Browns, "Meet me by moonlight 
alone, " with the addition of, " Oh ! bring not 
thy eunuch, fair lady." After satisfying yourself 
by looking around this dungeon-like parlour, that 
it was not only a curious concern, but that 
its occupants were curious individuals, you 
introduce yourself to these three solitaires, who 
until you addressed them were not aware of your 
presence, as, the place being so very dark, they 
fancied the approaching footsteps were those of 



ADJOINING THE SERAGLIO. 



47 



the Turks or Armenians who worked in the stores, 
and were allowed to reside on the premises. On 
recognising you they receive you only as country- 
men, when meeting each other in a foreign clime, 
can do. An extra lamp is lighted, the bottle 
introduced, and kind inquiries made after all at 
home, but particularly the fair ones. 

For a moment you forget the difficulty you 
experienced in wending your way through the 
shattered ruins leading to their domicile ; but when 
the second lamp has thrown more light upon the 
subject, and when the fear of being inveigled into 
some dangerous den has vanished from your 
mind, you inquire how it is they reside in such 
an awful-looking place, you are informed that 
when people go to Rome they must do as Rome 
does, and that in war-time every one must do 
as best he can ; and that they were allowed a 
liberal sum, too, if they chose to procure other 
quarters, but being in charge of the stores, it 
would not be prudent to leave them at the mercy 
of knavish Greeks or indolent Turks. " Besides," 
added Brown, "have you not heard the old song, 
' The house to me may lowly be, if I but like the 
people in it ?"' when Robinson replies/' I admit we 
pull tolerably smooth together but it would be 



48 



THE ENGLISH STORES 



more appropo if you, Brown, had altered the words 
of that old song to 1 The house to me may 
lowly be, if I but like the people near it.' " At 
this announcement you begin to smell a rat, 
and inquire if there are any lady residents in 
the locality, when you are told by Robinson 
that there are one hundred almost next door 
or at least not a stone's throw from where you 
stand ; " and," added he, " I wish they were in 
Jamaica, as I fear they will be the means of 
getting those into trouble who do not trouble 
themselves about them. You ask how that can 
be, when he rather mournfully informs you, that 
if one attempt to steal a visit to their apartments 
and be detected, all will be suspected of 
complicity ; " and," resumed he, with a deep sigh, 
" all will be punished alike by those eunuchs, w 7 ho 
have no knowledge of mercy. Then what will our 
dear wives and little ones do ? I wish the ladies 
and the Harems were in Hong Kong ; for if they 
do not get all our necks in the halter, they will 
cause us to be served like a certain personage 
at home, which is quite as bad." So saying, poor 
Robinson heaved a deep sigh, then knocked a 
large spoon against the bottom of a can, which 
did as a substitute for a bell. An Armenian who 



ADJOINING THE SERAGLIO. 



49 



acted as footman, valet, and maid- of- all- work , on 
presenting himself, was, by Kobinson, ordered to 
get supper ready. 

Brown, addressing Robinson, suggested that 
after his long moralising speech, a dose of 
Old Tom, carefully but plentifully adminis- 
tered, was very necessary. Robinson, being 
one of that numerous fraternity who exhort 
you to do as they tell you, but not to do as they 
do, willingly agreed to the suggestion ; the glasses 
or rather the goblets were replenished, and in a 
short time all hands began to get mellow, toasts 
and songs were introduced. Among the latter 
were two sung by Brown, who, being a bit of a 
poet — although, as you can perceive, they are two 
old songs — he ingeniously converted them 
suitable for the occasion. The first was — 

" 'Twas sad to leave my native land, 

And the friends I there loved well ; 
To wander on this Turkish strand. 
Where friends but seldom dwell. 

Yet hard as are such ills to bear, 
And deeply though they smart, 

Their pangs are light to those who hope 
To meet one faithful heart. 



50 



THE ENGLISH STORES 



Oh, if I meet one gentle eye, 
To weep if I should grieve ; 

One bosom to receive the sigh, 
Which sorrow oft may heave ; 

One heart the ways of life to cheer, 
Though rugged they might be, 

No language can express how dear 
That heart shall be to me." 

The next was a parody upon " I wish I 'was 
with Nancy, " at the conclusion of which, all 
now labouring under the exhilarating influence 
of Old Tom, Brown proposed a trip to Para. 
Eobinson, after muttering something about he 
hoped people on their return home would not let 
his dear wife know that he indulged in midnight 
rambles ; and Jones, after affirming that he knew 
Sal had more confidence in him than to even 
surmise, much less believe, he would be guilty 
of such naughty practices, all started for Para, 
and no doubt spent a merry night. 

When you next call upon them at their residence 
near the old Seraglio, you are gladly surprised on 
beholding them in snug quarters, and surrounded 
with every desirable comfort: that is, if in the 
absence of woman, man's abode can be complete 



ADJOINING THE SERAGLIO. 51 

with comfort. Brown is absent, no doubt reconnoi- 
tering the Seraglio walls to ascertain Vhich portion 
of them with a ladder of ropes could be easiest 
scaled. Jones is gone to the commissariat de- 
partment, to hasten the issue of rations. Robin- 
son is housekeeper, and selecting from his bible 
that passage which refers to Job's patience. You 
ask him how it is he selects that peculiar passage, 
when he informs you that he needeth some such 
patience to bear against his loneliness, " for," 
added he, " while in yon habitation of rats Jones 
mostly always remained with me, but latterly he 
is as much absent as the cooper, or Brown ; but 
wait, the next post which leaves for England 
shall convey to his wife a message that will, on 
his return home, act as an effective emetic to his 
insincere conscience." You ask him how it is he 
makes himself miserable by remaining in- doors 
when his presence is not required ; he tells you 
that the last words he uttered to his dear wife, 
when parting with her, were, that he should ever 
remain constant. You tell him that such pro- 
mises are but every-day passwords to deceit. 
You point out to him the many husbands who 
tell their wives they are going to their chambers, 

E 



52 



THE ENGLISH STORES 



warehouses, or club-rooms, while at the same 
time they are impatiently looking at their watches, 
as at an appointed time they have to be at an 
appointed place, where they meet by appointment 
a dear friend, with whom they hasten into a cab, 
and tell cabby to drive them to some favoured 
resort. You point out these and many other 
similar every- day occurrences, when Robinson 
admits, that for what the eye don't see the heart 
can't grieve, and, with an air of hypocrisy, pre- 
tends it would be a hard struggle to wean his 
thoughts even for a moment from her at home. 
To one who knew nothing of his movements, 
these assurances would bear the semblance of 
sincerity, but Robinson, as well as many others 
who fancy that because they bear the name of 
being prudent and religiously inclined, that 
name will act as a shield against their fair- and- 
easy deeds being made visible, was in this instance 
disagreeably mistaken. For Brown, surmising 
there must be some other attraction to induce 
him to so constantly remain at home, besides 
dwelling on Job's patience, was resolved to find 
out what this attraction was. To achieve this 
object, he had to resort to the not-unfrequent 



ADJOINING THE SERAGLIO. 53 

mode of secret-finding, that of concealing himself 
where, although he could not be perceived, he was 
in a favourable reconnoitering position. He 
was not long in his hiding-place ere he perceived 
Eobinson proceed to a balcony at the end of his 
quarters, facing the Eoyal Mint, draw from his 
pocket a nicely-embroidered handkerchief, wave 
it three times. Presently a small back window 
in the upper story of a large building not far 
from the Eoyal Mint, opened, and a beautiful 
woman, after some difficulty, contrived to get 
through this window, and rested with all the 
grace of an Eastern queen on some old palisadings 
adjoining the roof. From this elevated though 
awkward position, with becks, nods, and the 
other countless modes of conveying invisible 
love-messages, she continued to return Eobin- 
son's mysterious signals until dusk of evening 
prevented their being able to longer recognise 
each other. A few evenings afterwards Brown 
had an opportunity of seeing this lady, and in 
describing her, he said " she was young, she 
was beautiful; her garments and hair were ar- 
ranged with that nicety of taste which showed 
that she not only belonged to a high grade of 

e 2 



54 



THE ENGLISH STORES 



society, but that she must be aware of her 
charms." " Her eyes," continued he, " were of 
that heavenly blue which, with their gaze of 
azure loveliness, would transfix one to their 
spell. Her hair was of a golden hue, and hung 
in bright curls on her shoulders. Her face, oh ! 
how lovely ; her smile, how bewitching ! although 
not tall, she was slightly and beautifully made. 
She wore a train of black silk; her white 
Zouave jacket was open in front, and displayed 
the most snow-like bosom ; the sleeves were 
laced with gold cord, and trimmed with small 
rosettes; the jacket was braided with white 
silk and gold braid. Altogether she looked 
superb. " And," added he, " it is seldom one sees 
a form and features so faultless as hers," so much 
so that scarcely anyone could find fault with 
Robinson for so admirably bowing and scraping 
to this fair Armenian, who was free from Harem 
control on a visit at her uncle's, and in the old 
man's absence honoured Robinson with bowing 
compliments. 

I will, for the present, leave them to indulge 
in their twilight manoeuvres, and again call 
your attention to that portion of the old 



ADJOINING THE SERAGLIO* 



55 



building adjoining the Seraglio, where, on 
their first arrival, Browu, Jones, and Robinson, 
during the first week, never enjoyed one hour's 
sleep, as the moment they experienced a little 
ease from the incessant and provoking bites of 
musquitoes, and when their weary eyes were 
about to close, not one or two, but a company of 
rats, would march into their apartments, and, 
without the least concern, take up their position 
on the foot or other portions of their beds. Not 
liking the liberty these uninvited visitors took, 
they received them with the point of the bayonet ; 
but when they became so weary from the want 
of repose that they could no longer keep watch, 
they placed, as sentry, one of the Turks who 
worked in the stores ; and whether it was from 
the close friendship which existed between them 
the fellow did not oppose their entrance, con- 
sequently, on Brown awaking one morning at 
break of day and looking around him, he per- 
ceived two or three dozen of them lying quite 
cozy on the foot and other portions of his bed. He 
was about to administer to them a dose with the 
point of his sword, when Jones shouted out " Oh 
murder, I am eat — the rats have eaten me." His 



56 



THE ENGLISH STORES 



voice was the signal for their departure, and never 
did an enemy retreat in more perfect order or with 
less concern as to their danger than did these 
monsters of the dark recesses of the old Seraglio. 
Some of them seemed as though they were bald 
with age, others were black, and not a few white. 
It may be said, why not, by stopping their places 
of ingress, prevent the possibility of their appear- 
ance. This is all very well, but is easier said 
than done. How could it be managed, as there 
were large vaults under their sleeping apart- 
ments ; and thin decayed boards were the only 
bearers between them and a seeming fathomless 
recess below? The place was several times 
boarded, and all seemed serene in the day, but 
when night approached these monsters set to 
work, and never did a company of Sappers more 
speedily demolish an enemy's fort than did they, 
with their huge teeth, shatter the boards to 
atoms ; and what is strange and worthy of 
remark, never was there an instance in which 
they were known to injure any of the men. 
When Jones fancied they had ate him, they were 
harmlessly lying on his bed ; but, awaking 
suddenly, with the sleep in his eyes, and seeing 



ADJOINING THE SERAGLIO. 



57 



them around him, I presume he really did 
imagine they had done him some bodily harm. 

If some of the old ones could speak, they 
might tell dark and horrifying tales, as in former 
times there was a subterranean passage from the 
chief corridor of the old Seraglio, leading 
through these vaults to the banks of the Bos- 
phorus, and where many a lovely woman on her 
route to her watery grave, in half- stifled accents, 
sued for mercy, but the butcher eunuchs, in 
whose iron grasp she was closely held, knew not 
mercy nor pity ; they on some pretence, repre- 
sented to the Sultan that she was faithless. 
They required their annual victim for the fishes 
of the Bosphorus, and it mattered little to the 
wretches whether she was innocent or otherwise. 
They led her on through this dark, underground 
hellish-looking route, and it may be that the 
poor thing, through the persecution she ex- 
perienced ere the sentence of death was pro- 
nounced against her, being faint, and so much 
dreaded being placed in the executioner's sack 
and thrown into the Bosphorus, her heart broke, 
and in the midst of that hell-like passage where 
resistance was useless, and where no fond friend 



58 THE ENGLISH STORES ADJOINING THE SERAGLIO. 



could bid her a kind adieu, she expired. The 
butcher eunuchs being deprived of the gratifica- 
tion of extinguishing the vital spark, like a tiger 
which is disappointed in devouring its intended 
prey, and has reluctantly to return to its offal, 
these black blood-hounds carried her corpse to 
a portion of the vaults which an old Greek 
pointed out to me as being called " the butcher's 
corner, " where, after dividing between them her 
clothes and jewellery, left her corpse to decay 
to a skeleton, or be devoured by the predecessors 
of those vermin which so annoyed Brown and 
his companions. 



THE EUNUCHS AS MAIDS- OF- ALL- 
WORK. 



At no place in the world have such dark and foul 
deeds been committed as at the old Seraglio, 
Stamboul. There, at the will of a tyrant Sultan, 
the young, the beautiful and confiding woman 
was condemned to die, merely because it might 
suit the purpose of designing eunuchs to repre- 
sent to his Majesty that she was faithless. The 
women of the Harems must not, at the peril 
of their lives, by nod or otherwise, presume to 
recognise any of the masculine gender, eunuchs 
excepted. I am puzzled to know how these 
wretched drones are entitled to the appellation 
of masculine ; but this I do know, that the coun- 
try which encourages such brutalising pro- 
ceedings as converts them into nothingness, and 



60 THE EUNUCHS AS MAIDS-OF- ALL-WORK. 

the laws which sanction such inhuman treatment, 
require re-modelling, and shoiild stimulate Euro- 
pean nations to unite in having an end put 
to such brutish practices. Were these eunuchs 
beasts of the forest, and the Sultan lord of the 
manor, he and his clique of profligate Pashas 
could and might do as they pleased with them, 
but when they are of our own species and 
possessed of the same organs of sensitiveness 
and intelligence, why permit any profligate, 
though he were twenty times a Sultan, to convert 
them into a lower grade than are millions of 
brute animals? We advocate, and justly, the 
abolition of slavery—why not protest against the 
continuance of this unnatural practice, which is 
a desecration of and disgrace to humanity ? 
Although scarcely able to drag one leg past the 
other, a Sultan must have from five to seven 
hundred wives or concubines, and forsooth must 
have as many eunuchs to wait upon and take 
care of them, as no other grade will be trusted. 
To prevent the possibility of familiarity existing 
between them and any other lord of the creation, 
he places over them a guard of eunuchs, and 
presents to each lady on her admission into the 



THE EUNUCHS AS MAIDS-OF-ALL- WORK. 61 

Seraglio a eunuch, who has to act as lady's-maid 
and maid-of-all-work. It is truly sorrowful to 
behold in the nineteenth century such desecra- 
tion of humanity allowed to exist, particularly 
when it tends to strengthen the stronghold of 
profligate tendencies. And what is most to be 
regretted is, that such a state of things should 
continue to be so obstinately upheld in that very 
land bordering upon where our Saviour and his 
disciples, by their examples and exhortations, 
sowed the seeds of righteousness. Those who 
are anxious to become true followers of Him 
who from Calvary's cross proclaimed their salva- 
tion, could scarcely render a more pleasing or 
suitable tribute to His memory than by their 
efforts to restore to that land of, I may say, 
His adoption, the laws of justice, morality, and 
righteousness. I could at this moment dwell 
considerably upon the religious mummeries and 
fanatical bigotry of this degraded people, but 
as I like every one to be allowed to follow 
whatever kind of religion he chooses, I will not in- 
terfere with the dogmas of Mahomedanism. Their 
guys of priests may mount minarets as often as 
they choose, and shout like donkeys as long as 



62 THE EUNUCHS AS MAIDS-OF- ALL- WORK. 

they please, their peculiar belief has nothing 
to do with me ; but when they add to their 
blasphemy, mummeries and fanaticism by con- 
verting men into unfeeling beasts, so that they 
may act as sentinels over the ramparts of 
sensuality — then, I say, away with such a race ! 
put an end to such a reign, and a bright dawn 
will open over the future of Turkey. 

These wretched drones of eunuchs are dressed 
like black women, and, except when very close 
and by particularly observing the distinction of 
their turbans, you could not distinguish them 
from female niggers. Not being possessed of 
sympathetic feeling themselves, it could scarcely 
be expected they would manifest any towards 
others ; consequently with their sanction it is 
impossible to get to converse with any of their 
ladies, except under extraordinary circumstan- 
ces, such as occurred during the Crimean War, 
when a wing of the English stores was erected 
upon a portion of the pleasure ground which 
previous to the war was their favourite place for 
promenading; for a short time after Brown, 
Jones, and Robinson's arrival, they discontinued 
walking in that favourite resort. I presume 



THE EUNUCHS AS MAIDS-OF- ALL- WORK. 63 

their walks were discontinued through represen- 
tations made by the eunuchs that it was not 
prudent or safe to permit so many pining 
beauties in their walks to exhibit to three lonely 
Englateras their unrivalled charms. Although 
their faces when out of doors have, as the 
custom of the country requires, to be covered 
with a thick white handkerchief, still the grace- 
fulness of their unrivalled beauty was visible in 
their every movement. In a short time after 
Brown, Jones, and Eobinson's arrival, they again 
renewed their walks, which, I need scarcely 
remind you, much pleased these three indivi- 
duals, who politely welcomed them by the raising 
of their hats or other tokens of respectful 
attention. An Armenian who worked in the 
stores, and spoke tolerably good English, acted 
as a kind of interpreter between them and 
Brown, as his comrades, with the exception of 
Woolwich Harry, were almost afraid to look, the 
name of being found to have anything to say to 
a Sultan's wife sounded so dreadful; and the 
penalties attached to it, when applied to a Turk, 
Greek, or Armenian, being instant death, by 
being either placed in a sack and thrown into 



64 THE EUNUCHS AS MAIDS-OF-ALL-WORK. 

the Bosphorus, or have a Jack Ketch's knot 
adjusted round his neck. The eunuchs, upon 
Brown, Jones, and Robinson's arrival, through 
an interpreter informed them that be he Eng- 
lish, French, or otherwise, if found to trespass 
upon the precincts of the Harem, or endeavour 
to carry on any clandestine correspondence with 
its inmates, his punishment would be the same 
as though he were a native of Turkey. This 
announcement struck terror into Jones and 
Robinson, who always took particular care not 
to trespass ; but Brown, being one of those 
romantic devil-may-care kind of individuals, was 
resolved to know a little, if not of the ladies, at 
least of the Seraglios ; and so the eunuchs pro- 
clamation was to him a dead letter. From the 
moment the ladies first appeared, he made up 
his mind to, if possible, become acquainted with 
one of them, and that one is she to whom I have 
previously referred, and to whose prison apart- 
ments he, without a doubt, contrived to find his 
way. The eunuchs were not aware that the 
little Armenian who acted as Brown's interpreter 
understood the English language, so that when 
conveying to Belinda the assurance of Brown's 



THE EUNUCHS AS MAIDS-0F- ALL- WORK, 65 

sympathy for her lonely state, and his deter- 
mination if possible, with her consent, to release 
her from the lonely solicitude of the Seraglio, 
the eunuchs fancied he was merely pointing out 
to the ladies some peculiar piece of workmanship. 
But things were destined to continue in this 
quiet manner only for a short time. From the 
fact of Brown enjoying single blessedness, or 
disagreeableness, whichever you may term it, 
as well as residing in that lonely place where 
no fair one was ever to be seen except the 
nymphs of the Harems, where visits were, like 
angels, few and far between, it was scarcely any 
wonder that his attention should be directed to 
how he could best contrive to procure Belinda's 
release. 

One evening when about to return to the 
Seraglio, she secretly instructed the Arme- 
nian to inform Brown that she was much pleased 
with his gallantry and attention, and would be 
more so if he could learn a little of her language, 
so that if an opportunity occurred they would 
not require the aid of an interpreter; " but," 
added she, " inform him, likewise, that he 
must be most cautious and prudent, as, if the 



66 THE EUNUCHS AS MAIDS -OF- ALL-WORK. 

eunuchs once suspect I have given him the least 
encouragement, he will never see me more, nor 
can any one except the executioner-eunuch 
relate the tale of my departure. He knows my 
window ; inform him that at dusk of eve he, as 
usual, will see a light, which is to signify that all 
is well. Convey to him the assurance of my 
kindest regards. As regards you, Artinia, if you 
remain faithful, it will be in my power, whether 
an inmate of the Seraglio or otherwise, to reward 
your fidelity ; and as a token of my sincerity, 
accept this purse " — which on opening the 
Armenian found it was his interest to remain 
faithful to so liberal an employer. 

On the Armenian informing Brown that 
Belinda was desirous he should learn a little of 
her language, never was mortal more anxious to 
obtain his cherished hope than was he to be- 
come master of a few sentences of that difficult 
language ; he longed to be able to convey to her 
from his own lips how happy he would be if he 
could but be the medium of releasing her from 
that purgatorial place ; and when released, how 
quick and pleasant the time would pass in her 
society. These few words seem so simple, yet 



THE EUNUCHS AS MAIDS-OF- ALL-WORK. 67 

how difficult to learn ! but where there is a will 
there is mostly a way, and he at that time being 
one of those who do not allow obstacles to so 
accumulate on his path as to mar his progress, 
speedily learned a trifle of her language. But as 
regards caution and prudence, he possessed and 
practised much more of these qualities ere she 
commanded him. For a few days he was very 
reserved, and passed her windows for all the 
world like a person who entertains a regard for 
one who is of a superior grade of society, but 
whom he would not on any account wish to know 
that his presumption soared so high as to dare 
revere her. A few days were all that Brown 
could keep from squinting as usual at Belinda's 
window, and for the one time at dusk of eve he 
previously looked towards a certain westerly 
window for the signal that all was well, he after- 
wards looked ten times, until by his imprudence 
he nearly verified the saying that too much 
cooking spoils the dish. Yet how could he 
refrain from throwing a wistful eye towards that 
hateful Seraglio where, under the strict surveil- 
lance of unfeeling eunuchs, was one for whose 
releasement he sighed? — -not for the sake of 

F 



68 THE EUNUCHS AS MAIDS-OF-ALL-WORK. 



procuring her liberty, or of having himself 
gazetted as a hero of the Harems, and of then 
letting her fri endlessly drift on the cold world of 
surmises, but wi th the intention of never causing 
her to regret the confidence she placed in his 
sincerity. From the courtesy paid him by this 
beautiful and accomplished lady in preference to 
her own countrymen, or indeed all others, it is 
not surprising that his inclination should lead 
him to resort to even extreme measures to try to 
secure her liberty. Yes, liberty it may be truly 
termed, as it is folly to imagine that young and 
beautiful ladies, who are never permitted to leave 
the Harem except under the escort and control 
of suspicious eunuchs, enjoy the remotest 
privilege of freedom. They strongly remind one 
of birds in a cage which, always pining for liberty, 
would the first opportunity bid good-bye to their 
keepers. Being aware of this fact, as well as 
receiving tokens of attachment, encouraged 
Brown to look with confidence on the success of 
a second visit. 

All you who have had any experience in love 
matters, are aware how soon these pretty yet 
unassuming nymphs would, by courtesy or 



THE EUNUCHS AS MAIDS-OF-ALL-WORK. 69 



otherwise, steal one's affections, particularly 
when circumstanced as Brown was, who, on his 
return in the evening to his dreary quarters, had 
no pleasing object to divert his thoughts from 
the vision of Belinda, consequently her angelic 
appearance was ever foremost in his memory ; 
so much so, that one night in his dream he 
fancied he beheld as usual a dimly-burning light 
in a well-known window, and that with the aid 
of a ladder of ropes he contrived to get to the 
roof of the Seraglio, from whence he quickly 
arrived at this window, and was gladly recom- 
pensed for his adventure by beholding through 
the glass the object of his visit, in the person of 
her who conjured him to be prudent and 
cautious. 

Whether Morpheus, when leading Brown 
under his midnight sway, deemed it prudent, 
I cannot say ; at all events, through his influ- 
ence, he arrived unperceived at his lady loves 
window, when his ear caught the sound of 
delicious music, accompanied with a sweet yet 
mournful voice. A few moments sufficed to 
convince him that she was playing the piano, 
and singing that applicable song — 

f 2 



70 .THE EUNUCHS AS MAIDS-OF? ALL-WOHK. 



"Oh solitude ! where are the charms 
That sages have seen in thy face ? 
Better dwell in the midst of alarms. 
Than reign in this horrible place," 

On finishing the last sentence, she turned 
towards the window, and on suddenly perceiving 
the form of a man, uttered a faint shriek, which 
might have resulted in serious consequences 
had her eunuch, w T ho slept in an adjoining room,' 
heard her. On recovering from her momentary 
surprise, she again looked towards the window, 
and this time recognised the adventurer. What 
a difference ! Her face brightened up with that 
smile of confidence and pleasure which can only 
proceed from the bosom of those who for a long 
time have had no confiding; friend to whom they 
dare utter the sentiments of their mind. I 
believe there are many of us who at times would 
almost bestow a world of treasure, could we but 
find one confiding friend in wdiose ear we might 
whisper the long-pent-up sentiments of our joys 
or troubles. There are but few w r ho, at some 
stage of life, have not experienced the want of 
such a friend. We may have relations, or mush- 
room friends, who in sunshine will bask with us 



THE EUNUCHS AS MAIDS-OF-ALL-WCKK. 71 

in the delights of our sunny pleasures, and who 
by their smiles and soft words would have us 
believe they were our very clear friends ; but the 
moment cold winter approaches, and our gardens 
— pockets, I mean — become deprived of their 
rich fragrant verdure called golden guineas, that 
moment will these sunshine friends disappear. 
But that is not all. Although their tongues be 
silent in our praise, their ears become more 
open to our faults ; that loucl-tongued trumpeter 
called Slander or Backbiter can never sound his 
notes, but these once very dear friends will 
earnestly list to try if they can hear our names 
among the proclaimed ; and if they should hap- 
pen to appear among those on that unenviable 
list, will these dear friends by a kind effort 
try to erase them ? Certainly not ; that would 
not be religiously following the everyday gospel 
of throwing more water on a drowned rat. If 
we, when enjoying our liberty and having an 
opportunity of selecting, from numerous circles 
of relatives or acquaintances, one confiding soul, 
cannot at times succeed in selecting, or rather 
trusting even that one, how must it be with 
those ladies who are confined in the dreary pre- 



72 THE EUNUCHS AS MA1DS-0F- ALL- WORK. 

cincts of the Harems, having no one to confide 
in or converse with but their hateful eunuchs ! 

But to return to Brown's dream, I dare say 
many of you will say " Oh, yes, a dream ! we 
know better, it happened in reality." Well, I 
am inclined to be of the same way of thinking. 
All of us know that many things which are seen 
in dreams often appear in reality ; still as no 
Christian, Lord Byron excepted, is supposed to 
have stolen a successful visit to the old Seraglio, 
I must only call your attention to his visit in 
the shape of a dream. Of course, you can exer- 
cise your own opinion as to whether it occurred 
in reality or not. 



BROWN'S DREAM, AND BELINDAS 
CONVERSATION AND ATTEMPT TO 
ESCAPE FROM THE SERAGLIO. 



When recovered from the temporary fright 
experienced by Browns sudden and unexpected 
appearance, Belinda opened the window, and 
invited him into her sitting apartment. For a 
moment his eyes became dazzled with the bril- 
liant prospect and beauty of her apartments. 
One might read about fairy dells, enchanted 
halls or ancient castles, and dwell with delight 
on the description given of the beauty of their 
exterior and interiors ; but in Belinda's one's 
eyes might feast upon the loveliest as well as 
rarest of luxuries. Every particle of the costliest 
of household requisites which one could name 
was at her disposal, but not in so ship-shape a 
position as our tidy housewives at home would 
have superintended the arranging of them ; yet 



74 brown's dream, and Belinda's attempt 



considering that eunuchs were thehousemaidswho 
had the assorting of them, they were not so badly 
classified. When Brown entered, Belinda re- 
quested him to be seated while she retired to her 
dressing room. On her return he scarcely 
recognised her as the same individual who a few 
moments previous was attired in her ordinary 
Turkish costume. She now wore a magnifi- 
cent train of green silk, white Zouave jacket with 
large sleeves, which were trimmed with green 
ribbon and bound with golden cord. Her rich 
auburn hair was beautifully plaited, and encircled 
in a magnificent wreath of diamonds and pearls. 
She wore rings and bracelets of the most splendid 
and costly description. If she, looking charming 
in her ordinary costume of loose wrapper, loose 
slippers, and blindman's-buff head-dress, how 
must she have appeared in this superb costume? 
She perceived that Brown entertained a doubt as 
to her identity, and immediately removed that 
doubt by assuring him she was the same Belinda 
who a few moments previous appeared in her 
dishabille; •-and," added she, "as an opportunity 
now offers which may never again occur, I will, 
if you allow me to be your guide, conduct you to 



TO ESCAPE FROM THE SEiiAGLXO. 



what is termed 'Venus's Bower' or the £ Valley 
of Pleasure/ where by torch-light the Sultan and 
all the other ladies and their eunuchs are 
assembled to do honor to the new b/ide who was 
this morning admitted into the Seraglio. I 
would have to be present, but something told me 
you might either, asleep or awake, start upon a 
voyage of discovery, so I feigned illness by which 
I was excused from attending. Had I not 
possessed a little of woman's forethought I would 
now have to be assembled with the others in the 
Bower of Pleasure, then on your arrival here 
would you not be done brown ? I am now in 
marching order ; we must stealthily pass through 
the halls, verandas, and corridors until we arrive 
at a suitable place from whence you unperceived 
may witness the proceedings ; so that on your 
return to England you can truthfully certify that 
you beheld one of the most beautiful and romantic 
yet melancholy, of Eastern scenes. But stop* we 
cannot be too cautious. I will put on my loose 
wrapper and face handkerchief to conceal these 
festive garments; and if you mind not, I should 
in appearance like to convert you into a eunuch." 
Brown said he would take particular care it 



76 BROWUta DREAM ; AND BELINDA'S ATTEMPT 

should be in appearance only ; and added, that 
if a change of apparel was necessary for their 
safety, he had no objection to adopt it; on which 
Belinda hastened to her eunuch's wardrobe, where 
there was an abundant supply, such as they were, 
of half-feminine clothing, and her eunuch being 
of herculean dimensions Brown had no difficulty 
in drawing- some of them over his own. The 
next part of the performance was to blacken his 
face, and nut on a fez. This complete, Belinda 
could not on looking at him refrain from heartily 
laughing, and remarking, that if he was not 
"done Broivn" he was " Broivn Mack" 

When satisfied that, should they be perceived, 
their disguise in dress would be the means of not 
raising an alarm, Belinda led the way, and in a 
short time they securely arrived at their place of 
concealment in close contact with the Bower of 
Pleasure. This pleasure bower is situate in the 
centre of Cupid's Garden, to which, as I before 
mentioned, on the admission of each lady into the 
Seraglio, all the inmates are summoned to attend 
by torch-light in their richest and gayest attire. 
If the night be fine, which in that Eastern clime 
at midsummer it mostly always is, the eunuchs 



TO ESCAPE FROM THE SERAGLIO. 



as well as acting as waiters or waitresses, have to 
fill the office of fan-bearers and mistresses of the 
robes. The bower is nicely decked with flags, 
evergreens, and flowers. It is covered with the 
richest carpeting, and placed in suitable posi- 
tions on each side are sofas, sideboards, chairs, 
and tables. On the latter were placed richly 
wrought moulds and dishes containing ices, 
jellies, grapes, and all delicacies of the season. 
At the eastern end of the bower there was a 
throne, over which waved the Mahomedan coat 
of arms : close to the throne v/ere two state chairs. 
The throne previous to the ceremony is occu- 
pied by the Sultan, the two state chairs by the 
bride-elect and chief eunuch. At the conclusion 
of the ceremony the Sultan places the new bride 
upon the throne, when the lady minstrels pour 
forth the richest of lays in her praise, and the 
eunuchs re-deck the place with bouquets culled 
from the choicest of flowers. The ladies next 
commence singing and dancing, all of them being 
proficient in these arts, as well as skilled 
musicians. From the mingling of so many 
voices, the soft notes of delicious music which 
wafted delightfully on the still easterly breeze ; 



78 BROWN'S DREAM, AND BELINDA'S ATTEMPT 



with beholding the rich profiles of grapes, figs, 
peaches, and numerous other sweets, as well as 
countless beds of geraniums, jessamines, and 
roses which grew in rich luxuriance around the 
bower, one would fancy himself in some fairy 
dale, where he beheld every beautiful object 
which the power of imagination could picture to 
his fancy. To convey but a very faint idea of 
this enchanting scene, you must fancy you behold 
beautiful verandas, among which are numerous 
silvery fountains whose murmuring rills silently 
loiter through the vale, and are surrounded by 
beds of the choicest floral products imaginable, 
whose rich perfumes breathed their delicious 
fragrance on the still air around. There were 
slender trees, the branches of which seemed, as 
the saying is, to reach half-way to the clouds, 
and which in the day are thronged with every 
species of the feathered tribe, whose mingled 
warblings would plunge the most thoughtless 
into a reverie of delightful suspense. The moon's 
silvery beams shone brightly on the fonts, the 
flowers, and vines ; and by the glimmer of the 
torches the costly jewels so flashed from the 
superb robes of the ladies as to dazzle the eye. 



TO ESCAPE FllOM THE SERAGLIO. 



79 



The costumes of the ladies were varied, beautiful, 
and skilfully assorted. It must be borne in mind 
that only on festive occasions like the present 
are they allowed to don this rich European attire. 
Some wore trains of black silk, others black silk 
velvet, with Zouave jackets, some of which had 
very large, others very small sleeves, which were 
suitably trimmed and bound with golden cord; 
others wore a body and train of crimson and 
gold; some wore purple, lilac, and crimson 
bodices, with trains of emerald green; a few 
wore snow-white bodices and green trains. They 
appeared to be perfect models of innocence- — 
indeed, it would be difficult to discern the slightest 
distinction between either the elegance of their 
persons or careful arrangement of their cos- 
tumes; considering that drones of eunuchs 
attended to their toilet departments, I am 
surprised that they could appear in such per- 
fection. The Circassians, with their lovely eyes 
of heavenly blue, appeared beautiful in the 
extreme; and although, as I before mentioned, 
it would be almost impossible to detect the least 
distinction between beauty or elegance of any of 
them, still there was one who seemed to command 



80 BBOWS's DREAM. AND BELINDA'S ATTEMPT 



particular notice from all others, and marked 
attention from the Sultan. This was the bride 
elect, on whose account they had assembled to do 
honour, and like all other performances through 
life, these ceremonies are inaugurated with more 
variety of gaiety and pleasure according to the 
previous station in society of the object of the 
night's entertainment. The present bride elect 
was the scion of a noble house — that is if riches 
and power constitute nobility : except these not- 
to-be-despised appendages, I never heard of any 
other claim a Turk can have to aspire to that 
venerable title. This lady being of a superior grade 
of society, on her admission had administered 
to her extra doses of adulation. She was tall, 
not very slight yet beautifully made, and seemed 
to be conscious she was the object of his Majesty's 
admiration, as she occasionally gazed upon him 
with that force of confidence which only a 
certainty that she for the time being ranked 
foremost in his affections could warrant her in 
doing. Although the music which echoed through 
the bower, and wafted delightfully on the calm 
midnight breeze, when mingled with the sweet 
voices of the ladies who sang many of their 



TO ESCAPE FROM THE SERAGLIO, 



81 



favourite songs, such as " Oh Cupid, come! thine 
arrows lend, until a Sultan's heart I bend," or 
Oh, Mahomed! canst thou deign to look, upon 
thy daughters now forsook?" (the former was 
sung by the bride elect, and the latter by one of 
the others, who I presume wore horns)— although 
the varied amusements and charms of the music 
might rivet attention to their delights, still 
the Sultan seemed as though his mind was 
wandering either back to bygone times, when the 
glow of youth upon his cheeks might enable him 
to more fully appreciate these gaities ; or his 
thoughts were engaged with the idea of how he 
might easiest get rid of the reigning Sultana, 
whose presence was beginning to become more 
and more disagreeable as she stood in the way 
of a more admired object for whose honour they 
were then assembled in that fairy floral bower, 
and for whose gratification the lady minstrels 
were singing and playing their favorite lays. 

Through the attractive charms of this enchant- 
ing scene, Brown became so spell-bound that 
when Belinda aroused him from his reverie of 
attention, he fancied he had been a spectator but 
a few seconds, while he had been as many hours. 



82 brow's dream, and Belinda's attempt 



Although clanger surrounded them every instant 
they remained, and although Belinda used every 
persuasive power to try to prevail upon him to 
depart, it was only when the morning beams 
began to appear, he reluctantly turned his back 
upon that never-to-be-forgotten sceije. 

Addressing him, Belinda said, " Johnny, look 
yonder. See yon moon begins to disappear ; the 
eunuchs will shortly retire from the Bower of 
Pleasure, so that if not quick I fear they will 
prevent the possibility of our escape, as, on 
returning to their apartments, it being break of 
day they will not retire for repose. They are so 
suspicious of you Englateras, their first duty will 
be to look around your stores, to see that none 
of you, but you in particular, are scaling the 
w 7 alls. Let us haste to my apartments ; it will 
not take me long to get in a runaway state. We 
then by a staircase can ascend to the western 
roof of the Seraglio, and from thence with your 
ladder of ropes to the roof of your stores ; and 
then wont I joyfully say farewell to this detest- 
able place !" They hastened to her apartments, 
and after making fast the door of the room in 
which her eunuch was closely wrapped in slum- 



TO ESCAPE FROM THE SERAGLIO. 83 

ber, they ascended the roof of the Seraglio, and 
were quickly wending their way in the direction 
of the English stores, when they heard the 
tiger-like yell of a eunuch, which caused Be- 
linda to tremble ; and to say that Brown did not 
experience a disagreeable sensation would be 
assuming the artificial heroism of bravado. He 
did fear, but not for himself, as he well knew 
that, armed as he was with a sword, and two 
six-barrel revolvers which never missed fire, 
these black spaniels could not injure him. But 
what was to become of Belinda if perceived by 
these monsters? To either attempt to escape 
with him to his quarters or return to her apart- 
ments would alike be attended with fatal 
consequences. What was to be done ? A 
thought struck him : she must commence 
screaming, and by calling for aid signify that he 
stealthily entered her apartments, and under the 
penalty of death forcibly compelled her quietly 
to accompany him ; this was the only hope by 
which the eunuchs might take a favourable view 
of the matter in Belinda's behalf. And when 
once away from the precincts of the Seraglio, let 
the Sultan dare punish him ! He, no doubt, 

G 



84 brown's bream,, and Belinda's attempt 

upon the chief eunuch's representation might 
be tried by court-martial, as civilians, as well as 
soldiers, are in war time under martial law. 
Yes, he might be arraigned for striving to se- 
cure the liberty of that caged bird ; but, as the 
jury would be composed of officers, whom every 
one knows are themselves represented to be fond 
of the ladies ; and as the presidential chair 
would most probably be filled by the military 
storekeeper, in whose confidence he had a 
tolerable hold, it would not go very hard with 
him. They might, as a matter of form, find 
him guilty of unlawfully attempting to uncage 
that musical linnet ; but being foiled in his ob- 
ject, which many of them no doubt would 
inwardly regret, and being ignorant of the laws 
of the country as well as the severe penalties to 
be inflicted for such misdemeanors, they most 
probably would come to the conclusion that by 
the storekeeper confining him to the dreary 
precincts of the store department at Seraglio 
Point for one week would be sufficient punish- 
ment. 

While contemplating on the prospect of 
a court martial, and its results, Belinda roused 



TO ESCAPE EROM THE SERAGLIO. 85 

him from his reverie, and informed him that 
they were still unperceived ; that the dread 
voices they heard were those of the eunuchs 
returning from the Bower of Pleasure, and that 
as this was the day for the pilgrim to depart for 
Mecca, all the inmates would be stirring about 
earlier than usual; " then, " added she, " I must 
confess, madness alone would induce me to try 
to escape to your quarters. You see the morn- 
ing beams begin to illume yon dark wing of the 
Seraglio where the night sentinels resort for 
shelter, that were we to attempt to pass that 
quarter they could not avoid seeing us : but 
attired as you are in eunuch's costume, and, 
thanks to that superior paint, with as black a 
physiognomy as any of them, they will not notice 
you. Let me see, how can we contrive to have 
that wretch's garments returned ? If he misses 
them, suspicion will immediately be awakened 
in his fiendish bosom. " 

Brown, with that kind of smile which persons 
wear when only half pleased with what they last 
heard, assured her that he had no idea of 
keeping possession of her eunuch's feminine 
garments longer than they acted as a shield 

g 2 



86 brown's dream, and Belinda's attempt 

against detection ; " and now, " continued he, 
ff that you are about to return to your eunuch 
protector, I no longer need them. It was for 
your safety I reluctantly consented to draw them 
over my own. " So saying, he quickly stepped 
out of the eunuch's extensions, and carefully 
folding them, asked Belinda if under such ex- 
traordinary circumstances, she would consent to 
act as portress and again return them so as to 
prevent suspicion. 

Belinda, with downcast eyes replied, " Yes 
Johnny, I will become portress ; but you have 
grieved me much, very much indeed, by the 
hasty manner in which you parted with them. 
How could you imagine I would moot such a 
proceeding only for the safety of both ? Yes, 
Johnny, you very hastily, and I fear angrily, 
although I must admit politely, requested of me 
to return them. If angry, you have had no 
cause ; if only a little passionately, I can readily 
forgive you, as from what I have been informed, 
you Englateras cannot so patiently brook dis- 
appointment as other people. Yet what was to be 
done ? If you can show me the least prospect 
of escaping unperceived, I will proceed with 



TO ESCAPE FROM THE SERAGLIO. 87 



you ; but it would be impossible to pass yon 
wing of the roof without being detected ; then 
look at the consequences not only to me but to 
you. If the eunuchs once get hold of you, 
and you to resist them, which no doubt, Engla- 
tera like, you would — with numbers they would 
overcome you, and without judge or jury commit 
you to the bottom of the Bosphorus. Yet I feel at 
this moment as though all hope of ever escaping 
was receding from my view. A something tells 
me that after now parting, I will never converse 
with, nay, even see you more. If they have per- 
ceived us, on returning to my apartments I know 
my fate, and am prepared for it ; but when you 
are passing yon portion of the roof adjoining the 
Minaret, you may be pounced upon and brutally 
murdered. A something tells me such will be 
the case. If this fearful surmise would but 
present itself in the shape of reality, I then 
would know how to act, and that would be to 
stand by your side until both were slain, or till 
both were free. " 

At this moment another loud shout startled 
Belinda. After bestowing a moment's attention 
towards the direction from which this shout 



88 brown's dream, and Belinda's attempt 



proceeded, she said, " Johnny, we have not as 
yet been perceived ; it is impossible for them to 
have seen us from whence that shout has pro- 
ceeded. But as there is no time to be lost, the 
sooner I hasten to my apartments the better, 
and unlock my eunuch's door, which you know it 
was necessary for us to make fast before we 
started. Should he awaken, and find his door 
locked, he would instantly suspect that some of 
you Englateras had stolen a trip ; and by an 
alarm bell, the wire of which communicates with 
each eunuch's sleeping department, he could in 
a moment summon all of them to his assistance. 
I once tried the experiment, and never shall 
forget the fright I experienced through my rash 
deed. When only a few weeks an inmate of this 
loathsome place, and unexperienced in Harem 
rules and usages, I, girl like, in the height 
of my simplicity, when I fancied my eunuch was 
asleep, opened my door, entered the dormitory, 
touched the spring of this wire ; then, with the 
swiftness of a bird, hastened to my bedchamber, 
locked the door and as usual took out the key. 
We must always take out the keys after locking 
our doors, so that the chief eunuch or our own 



TO ESCAPE FROM THE SERAGLIO. 



89 



attendant, who have master keys, may come at 
any hour of the night or day to see that we have 
not taken in any single men lodgers. Well, I 
hastened into my bed-chamber, jumped into bed, 
and had scarcely time to assume a sleeping 
posture, ere my eunuch stealthily placed his key 
in the lock, and as stealthily unlocked my 
door: then, with a dark lantern in one 
hand and a dagger in the other, approached my 
bed. I pretended to be fast asleep ; not even 
did I breathe, but .1 could feel cold drops 
of perspiration run over me. When convinced 
that I had not let any of my sleeping apartments, 
he entered my dressing and sitting rooms, and 
after satisfying himself that there was no one 
concealed in any hiding place, he quitely depart- 
ed, and hastened to the signal tower, where as 
soon as the alarm-bell rings, after each eunuch 
searchinghisladies apartments,as mine had done, 
if unsuccessful in finding any intruder, they all 
meet and hold a consultation as to the cause of 
alarm, and plan of action to be adopted. On this 
occasion, after consultation for a long time, and 
each eunuch certifying that no dog of a Christian 
had by his presence sullied his lady's apartments, 



90 brown's dream, and Belinda's attempt 

they came to the conclusion that the ringing of the 
bellmust have been a warning from Mahomed; and 
that in consequence of three Englateras residing 
so close to the Seraglio, it behoved them to be 
double diligent, or you would most probably try 
to enter, as at the time of this occurrence you had 
just come to reside among us. They firmly 
believed that Mahomed caused the alarm-bell to 
proclaim that while enemies were so close to their 
stronghold they should be always on the ramparts 
of caution, ready to warmly receive you should 
you dare enter the precincts of their dear 
Seraglio. But to return to my eunuch's visit. 
Oh, Johnny! I cannot describe to you the 
frightful sensation I experienced when I beheld 
him so demon-like advance towards me. He 
moved on the tip of his toes ; through his horrid 
black face gleamed the white of his eyes, which, 
like the waves of a troubled ocean when a tempest 
disturbs it, kept rolling in such a wild manner 
that I almost became faint, and at one time was 
about to scream for help. But of what avail 
would be my screaming? If he saw me touch the 
spring of the alarm-bell, he was about to adminis- 
ter chastisement in the shape of death. If he did 



TO ESCAPE FROM THE SERAGLIO. 



91 



not see me, he was merely searching my room 
on the supposition that some of you were 
concealed in it. I calmly and in feverish 
excitement awaited the result, and never did 
mortal more gladly hail the arrival of an 
esteemed friend after a long absence, than did I 
hail his departure. 

" I must no longer detain you, although I feel 
as if I would like to relate to you many incidents 
connected with this horrid place ; so that on 
your return to England you might, when an 
opportunity presented, let the English people, 
but particularly the lady portion, know that, 
when young and inexperienced, we are, either 
through the brilliant prospects pictured to our 
imagination, or by the command of selfish, in- 
human parents, who fancy by having daughters 
in the Sultan's Seraglios, they will gain his 
Majesty's favour, — we are, by either of these 
causes, induced or compelled to participate in 
the would-be joys of the Harems. But words 
cannot convey the amount of misery we experi- 
ence. It is true we are abundantly supplied 
with what money can commaild ; but what of 
that? We are deprived of what alone makes 



92 brown's dream, and Belinda's attempt 

life a treasure, namely, one confiding friend, 
who could return our affection. Of what use are 
all the brilliant appendages of a court or queenly 
life, if they only tend to make one unhappy ? Is 
not the little bird which can perch from tree to 
tree of the forest, and exist on the forest's hum- 
ble fare, more content and happy than the gold- 
finch or linnet which is confined in its golden 
cage and supplied from drawing-room luxuries ? 
Oh, yes ; that cock sparrow or simple robin red- 
breast, when soaring on the pinions of freedom, 
through its native shrubberies or o'er its moun- 
tain tops, is far more happy than the caged 
linnet. And why ? because wherever it goes, its 
mate follows and shares in its dangers and dis- 
tresses as well as its sweets; it feels that it 
has one to think of and care for it; that it is not 
alone in the world, or left, as it were, like a 
flower in an uncultivated vale, where, from cold- 
ness and neglect, thorns and poisonous weeds 
will destroy its fragrance. Yet, how many young 
persons, through the solicitations of friends or 
acquaintances, bind themselves to a life of 
misery ! Yes, Johnny, there are thousands who, 
for ambition's sake, ally themselves for life to 



TO ESCAPE FROM THE SERAGLIO. 



93 



those who treat them similar to the canary in 
the drawing-room cage. They may supply them 
with golden baubles, but cannot, will not, be- 
queath them what is alone worth possessing — 
the constancy of their hearts. 

M I regret not having an opportunity of show- 
ing you the chamber of horrors, in which are nu- 
merous skeletons of ladies who were represented 
to the Sultan as being faithless, and consequently 
was confined in the dark dungeons of that horrid 
place, until, from starvation or other cruel treat- 
ment, they bade adieu to this world. I must no 
longer detain you, the morning begins to dawn ; 
in a short time the sun will so brilliantly shine 
and its heavenly rays so illumine the dark 
recesses of this gloomy place, that the chilly eu- 
nuchs will hasten to yon balcony to bask under 
its inviting rays. If once there, you could not 
possibly get to your quarters without being per- 
ceived. Let us, until a more favourable opportu- 
nity occurs, leave no room for surmise. But this 
heart of mine seems to suggest that no such 
opportunity will ever occur. Yet, I know if an 
opportunity presents, you are brave and generous 
enough to try to get me from this loathsome 



94 brown's dream, and Belinda's attempt 

place. But if you cannot, if fate hath decreed 
that I am destined to pass my days in this dun- 
geon-like abode, will you as a favour to her who 
would be only too glad to grant you any reason- 
able request, on your return to England — " At 
this instant a mingling of many voices and dis- 
tinct footsteps signified that the eunuchs, who 
seemed to have mustered in considerable force, 
were not so far away as Belinda believed them to 
be ; and there being a staircase in the centre of 
the Seraglio leading from the Royal Minaret to 
the roof adjoining where they were, she became 
dreadfully alarmed lest they should be advancing 
upon them in that covert direction. 

She clung to his arm, and with a smile of con- 
fidence the impression of which it will be im- 
possible ever to erase from his memory, said 
" Johnny, I know you will not leave me, a poor 
friendless, helpless girl, to the mercy of these 
eunuchs, who most probably have perceived us ; 
but believing you to be armed, and knowing that 
you Englateras would not be sparing in making 
them taste of the steel, they do not deem it safe to 
openly attack you ; but by making a noise they 
fancy you will tly for safety where some of them 



TO ESCAPE FROM THE SERAGLIO. 



95 



are lying in ambush, and from whence, like mid- 
night assassins as they are, would pounce upon 
you, and having dispatched you, would then 
return to settle accounts with me." 

At this stage her voice became inaudible, when 
Brown said, " Belinda, you are not mistaken in 
the confidence you have reposed in me. My 
countrymen do not leave the one they admire or 
esteem, particularly when that one is an un- 
protected female, to the mercy of ruthless 
miscreants. Fear not, I will try to imitate their 
example. I came not here for the purpose of 
gleaning information, and deriving gratification 
from you, a confiding angelic being, and then, 
for my own safety, cowardly flee from you, — and 
leave you at the mercy of merciless eunuchs. 
Oh, no ! Belinda, my countrymen know not such 
cowardly retreats ; nor is there a moment to be 
lost. Listen, they are fast advancing up the 
winding staircase. Kemain where you are ; let 
the same spirit of self-control and firmness which 
accompanied you through the night's proceedings 
continue to hold possession of you; and in a 
short time you will see what strength there is in 
an Englatera's arm when defending the one he 



96 brown's dream, and Belinda's attempt 

admires. I will hasten to meet them as they 
ascend on to the roof, and ere one of them 
advances towards you it will be over my corpse," 

At this moment another " ha-ha !" signified 
that Belinda was mistaken as to their where- 
about, as by looking in the direction from 
whence the last shout proceeded, she could see 
that they were amusing themselves on their 
return from the Bower of Pleasure. Finding 
they were not perceived, yet believing that any 
attempt to escape would be fruitless, if not fatal, 
she continued : 

" Well, Johnny, as I before mentioned, a 
something tells me that, after now parting, we 
shall never more converse. If such be case, will 
you, on your return to that enlightened city of 
London (where you most probably will hear it 
remarked that Turkish women, as well as Turk- 
ish men, possess neither taste, ideas, nor feeling), 
contradict it, and assure those who may entertain 
such an opinion that Turkish, as well as other 
women, can appreciate what is noble, honour- 
able, and just ? But Turkish men will not allow 
us to have a mind, taste, or voice of our own ; 
consequently we, being treated as contemptible 



TO ESCAPE FROM THE SERA.GLIO. 



97 



slaves, can have no interest in anything outside 
Harem walls or such domiciles. Nor are we, 
after passing our days in the most abject state of 
misery and solitude in this world, allowed to 
hope for any comfort in the next. The men tell 
us we possess no immortal souls ; that we are 
like the tree in the forest — where its trunk falls, 
there it may lie. Now, Johnny, I cannot under- 
stand why we are thus destined. While living 
we are merely the tools of inconsiderate and 
selfish men, ever subject to their most capricious 
whims ; and not satisfied with lording it over us 
while here, they tell us that only for them is 
there to be bliss in futurity, that Mahomed can 
with the power of his breath create for them as 
many wives or pleasing companions as they 
desire. Do you think that the Power which 
created man, and next sent woman as his help- 
mate, could or would be so unjust as to make this 
distinction ? No, Johnny, I do not believe it. 
Besides, I am beginning to think that Mahomed 
has not now as much power with the gods as he 
formerly had, and perhaps he may not on their 
arrival in the next world be able to supply Sultans 
and Pashas with the many beautiful wives and 



93 brown's dream, and Belinda's attempt 



magnificent Harems which they expect are 
prepared for them ; indeed, it strikes me, that 
in the next world there will he no such privileged 
classification as Sultans and Pashas expect. It may 
turn out that persons will be considerately treated 
according as they have treated others while here. 
Although the Omnipotent Power when endowing 
us with the organs of sensitiveness, kindness, 
consideration, and faithfulness, left us free to exer- 
cise these gifts, the manner in which we have 
exercised them according to our power or 
opportunities, may tell either ill or well against 
us. It may happen that we poor things, who 
must be so submissive to the lords of the 
creation here, may be treated more considerately 
hereafter. 

"Oh 3 Johnny! the men of Turkey are so 
selfish and inconsiderate, that they subject us, 
without the power of remonstrance, to their every- 
desire ; and they become so insensible to every- 
thing except the will of subjecting us to their 
selfish ends, that our unfortunate country is 
the most degraded and despised in existence. 
Will you, on your return to that powerful 
independent Englatera, where women are justly 



TO ESCAPE FROM THE SERAGLIO. 99 

permitted to mix among society, and by their 
council and kindness as well as devotion and 
attention, aid the men in all noble enterprises- 
will you represent how cruelly we are treated ? 
I have heard that in England, woman, with 
caution and careful attention, steers through the 
ruffled oceans of adversity or disappointments, 
the barque of her husband's destinies ; and who 
is more competent or who more entitled to be 
the pilot of those destinies ? her all is centred in 
his course through life. Should his barque 
become tossed upon the troubled billows of 
disappointment or adversity, who will, when he 
is inclined to let it carelessly drift into that 
fathomless ocean of carelessness, take hold of the 
helm and steer it once more into a secure harbour, 
from whence he can behold other barques tossed 
and battling with uncertainty against the waves 
of opposition and disappointment, until at length 
they become so foundered that nothing appears 
of them but a shattered wreck ? Who may he 
thank that his was not floating among them, and 
appear, as they did, a bye-word for scornful 
conjectures? Is it not woman? Yes, it can- 
not be denied that when you men are on your 

H 



100 bkown's dream 5 and Belinda's attempt 

wayward thoughtless course, and when a few steps 
further would involve your ruin, woman, either 
through her love for him who was about to plunge 
himself and her into endless misery, or for the 
sake of his acquaintance or former positions in 
society, whispers in his ear the truthful words 
6 Stop were you are ; another step forward, and 
you are a beggar, an outcast, or it may be a 
felon !' He opens his eyes, which until these 
truthful words caught his ear, he obstinately kept 
closed. He looks around him, and beholds in his 
interrogator the person of either his wife, sister, 
next-door neighbour, or a once-loved object. He 
pauses, looks around him in bewilderment, and 
replies, 'Yes, I will return; my blind course was 
nearly run. You have saved me, one step further 
and I was in the gulf of ruin.'" 

" Now, Johnny, this is, I fancy, the course, the 
just course, which English women, be they 
wives, sisters, or next-door neighbours, adopt 
towards their countrymen ; and why should they 
not ? how could they act otherwise ? The men 
are not selfish, inconsiderate despots ; they 
allow the women to understand that they are not 
only useful members of society, but that, by 



TO ESCAPE FROM THE SEBAGLIO, 101 

their council and exhortations, they materially 
aid in upholding the honour and dignity of their 
powerful empire. I have been informed that 
the men of England, when at an opera or other 
place of amusement, cannot, be the entertain- 
ment ever so varied or pleasing, thoroughly 
enjoy themselves in the absence of their female 
friends or acquaintances. There may be in 
England, as well as other places, a few who love 
to be single on such occasions, and who, with 
bulldog impertinence, keep staring at every 
woman who may happen to come under their 
vulgar gaze. There are, I doubt not, some of 
these impudent objects of scorn to be found in 
London, as well as in other large cities ; it may 
also happen that there are a few who, if the laws 
would permit or society sanction, would multiply 
the number of their wives according to the 
length of their purse. But from what I have 
been informed, these objectionable individuals 
are but few, while here in Turkey they are 
general, because encouraged and strengthened by 
the laws which sanction such profligacy. No 
matter what may be the amount of attraction or 
amusement, we dare not entertain the idea of 

h 2 



102 BROWN'S DREAM, AND BELINDA'S ATTEMPT 

witnessing any of them ; the men being, as they 
assert, lords of the creation, can go where they 
wish and do as they please ; we must not re- 
monstrate against it. They leave us pining in 
these dungeon abodes from morning till night, 
and from night till morning, with only the one 
disagreeable object before us, that of our black 
eunuch, who is suspicious of our every move- 
ment, and in whose uncertain keeping is the 
spark of our existence, as if, by representing us 
when out walking or otherwise, to have noticed 
any male individual, we would by his Majesty 
be deemed inconstant, and ere long have to pay 
its dreaded penalties, the nature of which, as I 
before mentioned, if time or opportunity permitted 
I would have shown you in yon Chamber of 
Horrors." 

At this moment the minute gun from Admiral 
Gray's flag-ship announced the hour of four, at 
which announcement Belinda, in broken accents 
and with tearful eyes, said, " Johnny, in a few 
moments my eunuch arises ; I must away. Fare 
thee well ! I hope not for ever ; yet, if for ever, 
remember one who will not forget thee." So 
saying, she hastily departed. For a moment 



TO ESCAPE FROM THE SERAGLIO. 



103 



Brown became as it were paralysed — lie did not 
know how to act, whether to follow her, and, 
in defiance of her black keepers, attempt to 
take her from the Seraglio. He placed his 
hand on the hilt, and was about to unsheathe 
his sword, when prudence interposed, and re- 
commended him to leave the attempt for a more 
favourable opportunity. After sadly gazing in 
the direction in which she disappeared, he directed 
his steps towards his quarters, and when arrived 
at a portion of the roof of the Seraglio from where 
he fancied he could by kneeling down reconnoitre 
as to what position the eunuchs occupied, he 
attempted to kneel ; but no sooner did his knee 
touch the felt of the roof, than he awoke from his 
dream. And what must have been his surprise on 
finding himself under the blankets in the region 
of rats, instead of being as he fancied, on the roof 
of the Seraglio, contriving to escape without the 
eunuchs perceiving him. Although not of a 
superstitious cast, I have not the least doubt had 
he been in the vicinity of Clapham, where he 
might have consulted some of the gipsy tribe, 
he would have asked what they thought his 
remarkable dream denoted." 



THE OLD SERAGLIO AT STAMBOUL. 



Haying got out of that dreamy maze, which 
was a rather difficult task, I will call your 
attention to the Old Seraglio. Many persons 
after reading about Harems, may say, "Dear me ! 
what kind of places are these Seraglios where 
the Sultans wives reside? they no doubt are 
magnificent and princely residences. His 
Majesty would never select for such beautiful 
women any but the most splendid and cheerful 
abodes." They are splendid, so far as high walls 
and other prison-like plans constitute them ; 
and cheerful, so far as loneliness and want of 
society can render them. The places generally 
selected for Harems are uninhabited localities, 
where nothing save the murmuring of rills, 
singing of birds, or floral landscapes, could 
attract the attention of their inmates from the 
Sultan* who next to Mahomed, is, in the eu- 



THE OLD SERAGLIO AT STAMBOUL. 105 

nuchs and priests' estimation, the most exalted 
of beings. To convey but a faint idea as to the 
exterior appearance of the Old Seraglio, permit 
me to request that at the northern side of the 
Serpentine in Hyde Park, you fancy you per- 
ceive a wall quite as high as that surrounding 
Newgate Prison, and inside this wall only the roof 
and upper-story windows of a gloomy looking 
building to be visible — or an imitation thereof, 
as Harem windows have iron bars or thick rods of 
wire securely fastened across them, and which 
must on no pretence be removed without the 
eunuch's permission ; if in the eunuch's absence 
the ladies should attempt to remove them, for 
such transgression against Harem discipline 
these refractory ladies are liable to severe 
punishment. By picturing to yourself in the 
centre of Hyde Park a large gloomy-looking 
building, surrounded by a forest of trees, and a 
wall which reaches nearly as high as the tallest 
of their branches, in this imaginative view you 
can perceive the outward aspect of the Old 
Seraglio. The interior I will not minutely 
attempt to describe, as no Christian without a 
firman from the Sultan is allowed to cross its 



106 THE OLD SERAGLIO AT STAMBOUL. 

threshold. Even when armed with that royal 
licence, you are only permitted to see very 
limited portions of it in company with half-a- 
dozen eunuchs, who being previously informed 
of your visit take particular care that none of 
the ladies are visible. When escorted by this 
patrol of eunuchs, and passing through the 
limited portions allotted to visitors, which con- 
stitutes a few yards, some pleasure gardens, and 
an imitation of Mahomed's ancient armoury, you 
would fancy you were walking around the interior 
of some prison or lunatic asylum, where keepers 
do not allow the inmates to be seen by visitors. 
You look in vain for an opportunity of throwing 
a sheep's eye at any of its fair occupiers. 

When at the eastern end of the pleasure 
garden adjoining the banks of the Bosphorus, on 
looking towards the western side of the Seraglio, 
it being on a more elevated position than where 
you stand, and the countless beds of roses inter- 
sected with small shrubberies which are beauti- 
fully situate on a sloping incline, and between 
which small rivulets are gently gliding down the 
vale, and as they ebb into their silvery fountains 
their gentle murmurs add a kind of musical 



THE OLD SERAGLIO AT STAMBOUL. 



107 



charm to the scene ; after listening for a short 
time to the murmuring of these rills and behold- 
ing the indescribable loveliness of the prospect 
around you, you would be half inclined to think 
that ladies might contentedly dwell in such a 
charming place. But when you leave this bower 
of beauty, and again behold the sepulchre or 
prison-like aspect of the Seraglio, whose inmates 
must not show their faces, but who are con- 
stantly kept under the lock and key of jailor 
eunuchs, you can easily conceive that the atten- 
tion bestowed upon the cultivation of the gardens 
is merely, by their inviting and lovely appear- 
ance, to try to wean the ladies' thoughts from 
the pangs of remorse or regret which they must 
daily experience — but no beauty of scenery or 
household luxuries can curb the power of thought 
or stem the tide of loye or regret. Many of 
these ladies, previous to their admission into 
Harems, had most probably felt that tickling or 
feverish pulsation which it is natural for young 
persons to experience when they begin to think 
of trusting their future destinies to the care of 
another. 

The portion of land allotted for pleasure gar- 



10S 



THE OLD SERAGLIO AT STAMBOUL. 



dens is extensive, and the ladies, for pastime, 
often devote hours in using the spade or shovel 
as well as the hoe. Even when employed in the 
pleasing capacity of culling or cultivating the 
flowers, a sprinkling of melancholy or regret 
must overshadow their pleasure, as after devoting 
many hours to the arranging of pretty bouquets, 
their thoughts will most probably wander to bye- 
gone times when they were free, and had some 
Frederick or Alonzo to whom they might present 
them, it is not improbable but at that moment 
they may feel a pang of regret for not remaining 
the occupants of their rural cottages where they 
no doubt would be the admired of rural swains, 
instead of being as they then were, fragments of 
and make-shifts for mock royalty. Supposing 
the old Seraglio at Stamboul was transferred to 
Hyde Park, and a Turkish sentry placed at each 
gate leading to the park, as is the case at Stam- 
boul, so that no lady-killer or rakish-looking in- 
dividual dare enter, how long would such sentinels 
and the one hundred eunuchs who constitute 
the ladies' body guard, keep the garrison from 
being stormed ? I think I may answer, not 
many hours. The fact of the ladies being de- 



THE OLD SEHAGLIO AT STAMBOUL. 



109 



tained against their inclination would act as a 
stimulant to Londoners in speedily releasing 
them. 

Although the generality of the inmates of 
Harems are, from the time of their admission, con- 
stantly protesting against the unkindness and 
surveillance to which through unfeeling eunuchs 
they are subject, still there is no voice, much less 
an arm, raised in their behalf, The men of 
Turkey are dead to their every cry for deliverance. 
Must not their manhood and patriotism flow at 
a very low ebb? There are their sisters and 
neighbours in whose society they passed their 
childhood, and whose juvenile freaks of friend- 
ship and pastime should, except they were void 
of every particle of brotherly or manly feeling, 
be renewed in their recollection on hearing 
how cruelly they were treated; still they will 
not make an effort to release them, or to put 
an end to that Harem system which not only 
causes the generality of the population to 
appear as degraded beggars, but causes those 
they are bound to protect to become the serfs or 
concubines of a puppet Sultan, or punch-and- 
judy Pasha. In many instances their betrothed 



110 



THE OLD SERAGLIO AT STAMBOUL. 



are, through Pashas or eunuchs' influence, 
forcibly compelled to become the inmates of 
Harems; and when parting, those they loved not 
only swore lasting fidelity, but promised on the 
first opportunity to relinquish a regal for a rural 
life. Still these noodles of men will not make an 
effort to release them. There may be a few who, 
if they dared, would try the experiment; but these 
few could not achieve the object, nor can they 
with safety convey their feelings to others. The 
fetters of tyranny and despotism are so 
systematically placed upon all Mussulman, and 
the results attendant upon their forcible re- 
moval from their slavish bearers of so punishable 
a nature, that none will attempt to unloose them \ 
hence it is that the Turks, although smarting 
under the most galling and tyrannical yoke, must 
through the old cause, want of unity or sympathy 
among themselves, calmly submit to their degraded 
position. And not unlike the hordes of starved* 
looking dogs which prowl through their streets, 
when pinched with hunger or too severely scourged 
with the lash of tyranny, they may occasionally 
bark or show their teeth, but dare not bite. Nor 
need they hope for a discontinuance of such a 



THE OLD SERAGLIO AT STAMBOUL. Ill 

system so long as Harem influence continues in 
the ascendant. The means to keep up the enor- 
mous expenditure incurred by the inmates of 
these hothouses of iniquity must, by hook or 
crook, be wrung from the miserable inhabitants. 
What matters it to a Sultan or his clique of well- 
fed Pashas and priests whether the mass of the 
populace hunger or not, so long as they can clutch 
the loaves and fishes, and bask in the smiles of 
their countless mistresses? They reign, while 
they can, in all the pomp of a Solomon, and who 
dare oppose them? The voice of liberty or 
opposition must not throw a shadow of gloom 
o'er their sunshine of bliss. Could that voice 
of liberty be but once raised in the council 
chamber, and echoed outside its pestilential 
walls, what a happy moment it would be for 
Turkey ! Yes, if the spirit of liberty and 
independence could but once be whispered among 
the populace, and the prospect of freedom with 
its golden rewards be but pictured to their 
imaginations, although submissive as they have 
been through ages of tyranny, were that phoenix 
of liberty to once raise its golden wings and lead 
the way, they no doubt would victoriously follow, 



m 



THE OLD SERAGLIO AT STAMBOUL. 



and in their march for freedom's shrine level to 
the dust the emblems of tyranny and degra- 
dation which are manifest in the Seraglios. 
What a happy hour it would be for Turkey, and 
what a blessing for Europe, if on the ramparts of 
these Seraglios they could but plant the tree of 
liberty ! No more need European nations dispatch 
their armies to protect a sick Sultan; the Turks, 
when permitted to enjoy freedom and appreciate 
its results, would buckle on the armour of inde- 
pendence, and banish from their thoughts the 
fanatical barbarities of Mahomedanism, and 
imitate European nations in husbandry and 
intelligence, instead of continuing, as they now 
are, almost blind to every particle of independence. 
They direct their onward course only through the 
dark intricate maze of priestcraft and Harem 
bondage. They must not try to leave that dark 
degrading track; the beacon of freedom is not 
allowed to burn on their path ; were a glimmer 
of its inviting rays to appear on their route, and 
they to attempt to clutch at its redeeming beams, 
they were instantly, without judge or jury, con- 
demned to where they could never more behold its 
inviting rays. Let their wrongs be ever so great, 



THE OLD SERAGLIO AT STAMBOUL. 118 

they have no just mode of righting them. The 
old saying that there is not much use in going 
to law with the devil while the court is held in 
hell, is in their instance fully verified. The 
Turkish mode of address is, like most other 
Turkish institutions, but a farce, and will remain 
so as long as European nations look on with cool 
indifference, and by their silence encourage the 
Sick Man's barque more speedily to drift into the 
gulf of destruction. 

In my remarks concerning the Turks, I treat 
them as they appeared under their servile yoke 
during the Crimean War, and in the late Sultan's 
reign. If since that period there has been any 
alteration for the better, I shall be most glad to 
hear it. Some time ago, it was rumoured that 
the present Sultan was about to discontinue the 
Seraglios. I doubt it. But as my remarks are 
confined to 1855-6, before he ascended the 
throne, I cannot nor will not attempt to describe 
what changes may have occurred since his acces- 
sion. Let us hope he will try to carry out his 
promises of reform, and discontinue Harem 
abuses. If he does, the hand of friendship 
should from every European nation be kindly 



114 THE OLD SEHAGLIO AT STAMBOTJL. 

extended to him, as it is an undertaking 
which will require a long pull and a strong 
pull thoroughly to accomplish. There is no 
doubt but he would have a majority of the en- 
lightened population with him. Still he cannot, 
be his inclination ever so strong, carry out his 
resolve without European aid. There are many 
enlightened, although but few learned, persons 
among the Turks. Could they but shake off the 
bonds of slavery and fanatical bigotry which seem 
to encumber all grades, and turn their attention 
to industry, convert the Old Seraglio into a ware- 
house, or temple of commerce, I doubt not but 
they would become a prosperous people. They are 
temperate, cunning, and thrifty ; possess a lovely 
land which by attention might be made to teem 
with nature's richest products. No one would 
more gladly see them become industrious and 
free than would I. But I fear that unless the 
screw of European influence be tightly applied to 
the councils of the Sublime Porte, and the hand 
of friendship more warmly extended to the present 
Sultan if he be but in earnest about reform, 
Turkey will continue, as it now is, the most 
unenviable nation in existence. 



THE PILGRIM'S DEPARTURE FOR 
MECCA. 



I fancy there are many persons who can scarcely 
believe that in the nineteeth century the usages 
of barbarous and superstitious epochs are still 
celebrated in their former pomp by the followers 
of Mahomed. Once every year a pilgrim starts 
from the Old Seraglio, Stamboul, to repair to the 
tomb of Mahomed at Mecca. For weeks previous 
to his departure the ladies of the Harems and 
other distinguished notables are vieing with 
each other as to which shall send the richest 
and rarest of gifts to the Prophet, whom they 
believe annually dispatches an invisible messen- 
ger from his dwelling in the clouds. This 
invisible messenger, they seriously tell you, 
arrives at the tomb a little after sunset on the 
evening the pilgrim pretends to deposit the 
presents in the sepulchre, from whence, as the 

I 



116 THE PILGRIM'S DEPARTURE P0R MECCA, 



story goes, this invisible messenger conveys 
them to the Prophet's celestial abode in the 
clouds. But if rumour be correct, and I am 
inclined to think it is, instead of the faithful 
pilgrim depositing the gifts in the tomb, he 
stows them away in some secure place, and 
when the ceremony is over, by selling them 
realises what handsomely recompenses him for 
his pilgrimage. Before sunrise on the morning 
of the pilgrim's departure all presents for the 
Prophet are to be forwarded, with the donor's 
name attached, to what is termed the pilgrim's 
store-room at the Old Seraglio. The pilgrim, 
attended by elders, priests, and pashas, is there 
to receive them and to recite the sublime and 
suitable epistles forwarded with each, as all fair 
donors are supposed to accompany their gifts 
with epistolatory remarks as to how they wish 
the Prophet to dispose of them. An old Greek 
who for many years had been employed as a 
kind of out-door messenger at the Seraglio, and 
who, like my lord mayor's fool, by feigning sim- 
plicity had an opportunity of knowing many 
mysteries and intrigues connected with Serag- 
lios, assured me that every year there were 



THE PILGRIM'S DEPARTURE FOR MECCA. 117 

thousands of pounds expended upon presents 
sent to the Prophet, and that attached to each 
are the most ridiculous epistles. One kdy when 
forwarding a nicely embroidered night- cap, con- 
jured the Prophet when placing it upon his head 
not to draw it over his ears so as to prevent her 
prayers from reaching the fountain of his grace. 
Another, when sending a pair of white gloves, 
hoped that in his sanctified view they would be 
emblematic of her maidenish innocence ; adding 
as a postscript, that since her admission into the 
Seraglio she had never shared the Sultan's 
society. I spent many a pleasant evening listen- 
ing to the amusing anecdotes of this super- 
annuated servant of the Old Seraglio, who 
without a doubt had a thorough knowledge of 
Harem discipline and usages, — and if inclined 
could inform an adventurer how he might 
easiest and with most safety steal an occasional 
trip to the interior of the Seraglio. 

Hearing so many rumours about the imposing 
sight to be witnessed on the pilgrim's departure, 
I naturally felt anxious to witness it, and shortly 
after break of day I started for the scene of the 
ceremony. Although the sun had scarcely risen 

i 2 



118 THE PILGRIM'S DEPARTURE FOR MECCA. 

when I arrived at the principal entrance, the 
place was thronged with spectators of every 
description both on foot and horseback, and in 
coaches or cabs. Close to Dianas Bower, lead- 
ing to the Royal Minaret, were rows of carriages 
containing the fair occupants of the Sultan's and 
Pashas' Seraglios, who as usual had their faces 
blindfolded with disgusting white handkerchiefs. 
Close to the ladies' carriages were numerous 
magnificently caparisoned Arabian horses which 
belonged to the Ministers of State, Pashas, 
and other offical dignitaries, who were in the 
pilgrim's store-room assisting in the ceremony 
of blessing and attaching the Sublime seal to the 
gifts for the Prophet. This part of the ceremony 
concluded, the Sultan, Priests, Pashas, and 
their pipe-bearers, emerged from the pilgrims 
store-room ; and in the centre of the square ad- 
joining the eunuch's hospital the trunks which 
contained the presents were placed upon resters 
of cedar and yew, and covered with richly- 
wrought gold embroidery. The priests, with as 
sanctimonious an aspect as they could possibly 
assume, knelt before the trunks, and with fer- 
vent accents invoked Allah to permit Mahomed 



THE PILGRIM'S DEPARTURE FOR MECCA. 119 



favourably to accept their contents, as tokens 
of fidelity from his devoted followers. During 
the time the priests were invoking blessings 
and assuring the Sultan of their attachment to 
his person and crown, groups of frightful rag- 
amuffins presented themselves, carrying old tin 
cans, kettles, saucepans, and every description 
of article with which they could create a noise* 
Next came a drove of camels with imitation 
of drums tied upon their backs, and guys of 
drummers trying to beat them. Next came about 
two hundred donkeys, on whose backs were 
priests, some of whom were the most hideous 
imitations of man I ever beheld. They appeared 
to be perfect types of the ourang-outang or gorilla 
species ; so much so, that could Mr. Du Chaillu 
but succeed in bringing one or more to England, 
he would not only cause a fresh sensation, but 
would throw his gorilla enterprise quite in the 
shade, so far as curiosity, apishness, and defor- 
mity of the human species is concerned. After 
these unshaven priests, whose unshorn physio- 
gnomies gave them anything but a clerical 
appearance, next came the band of the Sultan's 
body guard, composed chiefly of Bashi-Bazouks, 



120 THE PILGRIM'S DEPARTURE FOR MECCA. 

who are tolerable musicians and smart-looking 
fellows, which is a rare compliment to have to 
confer upon anything Turkish. Next came a 
noble-looking Arabian charger bearing, as the 
Turks remarked, a life-like statue of the Pro- 
phet, which was held erect by a dozen attendants. 
The right hand of the Prophet contained a 
wand, the left a compass ; the former as emble- 
matic of the power which Mahomedanism is 
destined to wield wherever the compass of the 
Koran may point out as their dominions. On 
the arrival of the Prophets statue the cheers 
and joyful manifestations of the multitude 
became boundless. It would be woe to the 
Christian who, in that moment of their 
fanatical excitement, dare point the finger of 
ridicule against the sanctity of their saint. 

When the shouting or yelling had subsided, a 
breathless silence pervaded the whole assembly : 
all eyes were turned towards Diana's Bower, from 
whence the Sultan and a motley escort of ancient- 
looking courtiers advanced to where the trunks 
which contained the presents were laid. The 
Sultan, after remarking that it gave him much 
pleasure to behold so large, respectable, and 



THE PILGRIM'S DEPARTURE FOR MECCA. 121 

loyal an assembly congregated to clo honour to 
the Prophet, next congratulated the pilgrim 
upon being the favoured individual selected to 
start upon so high and holy a mission as that of 
proceeding to repair to the tomb of their clear 
Prophet. His Majesty next dwelt most forcibly 
upon the liberality displayed by the ladies in 
forwarding so many useful and expensive gifts 
which he doubted not would be pleasing to 
Mahomed. His address to the ladies concluded, 
the procession started for Seraglio Point, where 
a Koyal caique was in waiting to convey the 
pilgrim and presents to Lower Scutari, from 
whence he is supposed to proceed on foot. The 
ragamuffins, many of whom were not only 
shoeless and stockingless, but coat and hatless, 
beating their old tin cans, saucepans, and 
kettles, led the way ; they were closely followed 
by the grand vizier, chief eunuch, chamberlains, 
lord high admiral, and the numerous other 
hangers-on about the palaces. Next followed 
the bust of the Prophet on horseback, then the 
Sultan, surrounded by a numerous suite of 
strange-looking courtiers and warriors. Among 
the latter was Omar Pasha, who, it was said, is 



122 THE PILGRIM^ DEPARTURE FOR MECCA. 



an Austrian by birth, and occupier of one of the 
most distinguished Harems in Turkey, that is, 
excepting the Sultan's. None of his wives were, 
it was said, over sweet sixteen, of high families 
and endowed with a more than ordinary share 
of education and beauty. He having adopted 
Mahomedanism, and become a renegade from 
Christianity, as well as bearing the name of 
being a gallant chieftain, caused all the tender 
sprouts of the Sublime Porte to desire to share his 
society ; and so it is, if rumour be correct, that 
he is master of more pretty mistresses than any 
man of the present or ancient times except the 
Sultan or Solomon. After the warriors, states- 
men, and courtiers, next followed two camels 
bearing the presents ; then the pilgrim and 
priests, riding upon donkeys ; next the camel 
drum-bearers and their guys of drummers ; next 
the ladies of the Harems and their eunuchs, 
some in carriages, others on foot ; then the band 
of the Sultan's body guard, playing many stir- 
ring, though for the occasion not suitable airs — 
such as, " Behold the conquering hero comes," 
" He walks with might on duty's path," " Let 
traitors fear his mighty power," &c. &c. When 



THE PILGRIM'S DEPARTURE FOR MECCA. 123 



arrived at Seraglio Point, the pilgrim stepped 
into a caique (boat), bade good-bye to the 
spectators, and in a short time was swiftly 
gliding over the billows of the Bosphorus. The 
multitude kept cheering until among the waves 
his caique disappeared from their view; many 
of them returned to their fireless and perhaps 
breadless cabins, where they might appease 
their appetites upon the consoling thought 
that they had just witnessed one of the greatest 
of their annual absurdities; I and other sight- 
seekers might return half ashamed for having 
remained the greater part of the morning be^ 
holding such mummeries. 

But that assembly, as well as most others, 
was not without its attractions* You must bear 
in mind that there were many fascinating 
ladies present, whoj although guarded by eu- 
nuchs, could by a sly nod or pleasant look, 
command or induce one for hours to hover round 
their carriages, Any of you who are accustomed 
to visit Eotten EovV when the carriage-way is 
almost blocked up, and when fair ones wearing 
their most killing looks, with dimpled smiles are 
peeping through their carriage windows, can best 



124 THE PILGRIM'S DEPARTURE FOR MECCA. 



judge how hard it was for one to turn his back 
upon those Eastern beauties. You many times 
might have turned upon your heel and become 
resolved to bid good-bye to the pilgrim's cere* 
mony, but at each time a brilliant pair of eyes 
would say, " Johnny, do not go; we cannot 
every day get to carry on even a nodding commu- 
nication with an Englatera. Do stop, supposing 
you have to bide your time ere you attempt to 
return our nod or gaze." These, or some such 
communicative signals from inviting luminaries 
would, were you ever so willing to depart, recall 
you to the scene of the pilgrims departure. Yet 
at the conclusion of the ceremony, and after all 
your squinting and nodding attention, you had 
without even the gratification of whispering fare- 
Well or of uttering "When shall I see you again?" 
to play your retreat with the not very consoling 
idea that you Were as great a fool ag ever, and 
had that morning, if fresh proof were needed, 
shown your folly to the fullest extent by remain- 
ing a beholder of so absurd a ceremony. When 
walking up and down by the ladies' carriages, 
the eunuchs who were in attendance as footmen, 
valets, and postillions, with no livery except 



THE PILGRIM'S DEPARTURE FOR MECCA. 125 

modern-looking epaulets and that unchangeable 
coat of black mail which nature bequeathed them, 
eyed you in something of the same style in 
which you might look upon one whom you 
fancied was about to deprive you of your watch or 
purse. In these forbidding-looking eunuchs you 
can perceive no trace of that willingness with 
which a footman, page-boy, or coachman at home 
would turn his back while his mistress might 
honour you with her converse. 

When the pilgrim's caique had departed from 
their view, the multitude gave three cheers for 
the Prophet and three times three for the Sultan* 
then dispersed, and so ended one of the most 
tomfoolery exhibitions I ever witnessed. 

CELEBRATING ST. PATRICE'S DAY 
AT CONSTANTINOPLE, 



In a foreign country, be one's stay ever so limited 
or otherwise, and be the amusements or national 
festivals of that country ever so varied and 
imposing, they but seldom cause sojourners to 



126 



CELEBRATING ST. PATRICK'S DAY 



forget those of the land of their birth. Indeed, 
the celebration of foreign anniversaries but the 
more strongly reminds one of those at home, and 
induces persons to celebrate with extra eclat the 
annual festival of their native country. Previous 
to St. Patrick's Day, it being whispered at Scutari, 
Kulalee, and Para, that the Emerald Islanders 
were about to thoroughly drown the Old Saint, 
and that the valley of Stamboul would on that 
night ring with a real Donnybrook melee, and 
that all English and Scotch who wished to join 
the assembly would be received with Ceid mille a 
failthe, caused the applicants to be numerous ; 
and the foreman's residence at Stamboul being 
deemed suitable for either Irish jig or shillelagh 
set-to, was by all Emerald Islanders, and their 
rollicksome English and Scotch friends, pro- 
nounced to be the most convenient place for a 
Donnybrook assembly. All who were anxious 
to attend had to forward their names a week 
previous to the 17th, so that the cruiskeens and 
their contents might be prepared accordingly. 
It was amusing to witness the many converts to 
Irishism which occurred on that occasion, as 
well as the barefaced stories and excuses to 



AT CONSTANTINOPLE. 



127 



which persons resorted to procure leave of 
absence. One Yorkshireman, who had never 
seen Ireland in his life, hoisted a large bunch of 
shamrock conspicuously in his cap, and address- 
ing his commanding officer in a rich Yorkshire 
brogue, represented himself as a native of 
Tipperary, and as such hoped he would be 
allowed to spend the evening at Stamboul in 
assisting to keep up the festival of his patron 
saint! The officer knowing perfectly well he 
had never seen Ireland, could not avoid smiling 
at the cool manner in which upon the strength 
of falsehood he urged his claim, yet believing 
that if his request was not granted he most 
probably would take French leave, told him he 
might go, but to take care that, instead of 
drowning the saint, he did not get drowned 
himself. On it being whispered through the 
barracks that Yorkshire Jack, by hoisting a 
shamrock and representing himself as a Tippe- 
rary boy, had procured leave to spend the 
evening at Stamboul, induced so many to follow 
his example that the officers deemed it best to 
encourage them to remain at Scutari, and many 
of the officers being sprouts of the Emerald Isle, 



128 



THE FIRE. 



it was whispered that they ordered on the quiet 
a tolerable supply of whisky, granted a shed 
adjoining the barracks, and so deprived us at 
Staniboul of the presence of many scarlet-coated 
companions. 



THE FIRE. 



Still we mustered considerably, and at about 
half-past eleven p.m., when in the height of 
merriment and joining in the chorous of " We'll 
have another cruiskeen lawn.'" a sudden gush 
of light similiar to lightning flashed through the 
windows, and instantly illuminated the assem- 
bly. A short pause ensued, when the cry of 
" fire, fire," from without caused every one to be 
immediately on foot. Many were the surmises 
hastily arrived at, as to the cause and where- 
abouts of the fire. Some fancied the Turks had 
set fire to our store-houses, others that the 
Seraglio had accidently become ignited, and 
that there was a chance for us to play the part of 
gallants in rescuing its fair inmates from the 



THE FIEE. 



129 



flames. Many and devout were the prayers we 
offered that the latter might be the case, as 
then the eunuchs should, although no doubt re- 
luctantly, have to accept of our services in res- 
cuing the ladies — and we would have, oh ! what 
a rare opportunity of leading from the scene of 
the fire — some of the prettiest women in exis- 
tence, and particularly at that witching hour of 
midnight when in the adjoining shrubberies it 
would not be difficult to give the eunuchs the 
slip. While indulging in the hope of speedily 
applying ladders of ropes to the ladies' windows, 
an Armenian arrived with the intelligence that 
the house of Pashas, which in Turkey resemble 
our House of Lords, was on fire, and from 
the direction the wind was then blowing would 
endanger the safety of our powder and shell 
magazine. "With this announcement the cere- 
mony of drowning the saint was suspended, 
and after telling off one of our party and two 
Armenians to remain in charge of the whiskey 
and culinary department, each of us took an 
extra drop of the cratur, and supplied himself 
with the best of friends to be met in Turkey, viz., 
a sword or revolver, We having two first-class fire 



130 



THE FIRE. 



engines at hand, adjusted the hose, got into 
harness, and mustering about sixty, swept the 
engines over rugged streets, up narrow windings, 
and down dark alleys, until we speedily arrived 
near the principal entrance of the house of 
Pashas. On our approach the streets and 
avenues leading to the fire were thronged with 
spectators, who on perceiving us approach ran 
hurry- skurry in all directions, and the sentries, 
Turk-like, changed their positions from outside 
to inside the gates. We having unexpectedly 
appeared among them, and they never before 
seeing engines drawn with wheels, or made in 
such like shape, fancied we were a party of 
Russians who were about to surprise them, and 
that our engines were pieces of cannon. By the 
time we reached the gates the place was de- 
serted, and the flames left to make as speedy 
progress as possible : nor could the Turks by 
remaining tend much to diminish them, as from 
the spout of a kettle or large watering-pot one 
could as effectively discharge almost any quantity 
of water as from the kind of engines they then 
possessed, which were of that portable nature 
that while carrying them on their shoulders two 



THE FIRE. 



131 



men could run up a ladder, scale a wall, or dance 
a hornpipe without experiencing the least incon- 
venience. I believe the Turkish authorities 
have, since the Crimean War, attempted an 
imitation of ours. 

When arrived at the principal entrance we 
found the gates had been made fast against us, 
and that hand-bells were ringing through the 
locality, arousing the inhabitants and informing 
them that the Kussians were coming. At this 
time the fire was raging most terrifically, and 
the building being on an elevated position it 
illuminated nearly the whole of Constantinople. 
On demanding admission we were met with, 
" Yoke bono " (no good). The wall which sur- 
rounds the building being very high, we could 
render no assistance from without, and the night 
being bitterly cold, and the spirit of the cratur 
beginning to depart, like our French neighbours 
we required something to keep us stirring. Nor 
were we long unemployed, as one of our party, a 
real Tipperary boy, shouted out, " Arrah! be 
jabers, 111 wait no longer ; so here goes. " And 
so he did, for accompanying his word with a 
greyhound bounce, he in an instant was moun- 



132 



THE FIRE. 



ted on the top of the wall, which being Hat he 
found no difficulty in holding his position. A 
Woolwich chap, who acted as superintendant of 
our fire brigade, conveyed a length of the hose 
to Tipperary ; and there being an abundant 
supply of water at hand, one of the engines was 
set to work, and ere the Turks who had 
congregated in a group in the court-yard had 
time to disperse, Tipperary with a perfect aim 
lodged a volley of water among them, on the 
receipt of which it is easier to surmise than 
describe the confusion and fright which ensued, 
as seeing no engine, and having no idea of the 
use of hose, they could form no supposition as' to 
where the water came from. A few of the most 
blind of Mahomed s dupes fell upon their knees, 
and commenced screaming to the Prophet, 
thanking him for as they fancied sending water 
from his cisterns in the clouds. But in a short 
time, from the perfect manner in which Tippe- 
rary directed his aim, he caused the devout 
portion of Mahomed's followers to imitate the 
others in playing a quick retreat. At this 
juncture, two old Pashas, their pipe-bearers, 
and a few officers and Priests, arrived; and one 



THE FIRE, 



133 



of the Pashas having resided a short time in 
London, during which period he acquired a 
little European ideas and knowledge of our 
engines, ordered the sentries (who stuck to their 
posts inside the gates) to admit us. After some 
persuasion and assurance that we were not 
Muscovites, he succeeded in prevailing upon 
them to open the gates. Once inside, having 
plenty of water, and Woolwich Harry being a 
first-rate conductor, we soon got the flames 
under. 

Although when starting from the ceremony 
of drowning St. Patrick with a determina- 
tion of speedily returning, we being three 
sheets in the wind, it could scarcely be expected 
we would return without cutting some figures. 
When the Turks perceived we set-to with a 
determination of extinguishing the fire, they 
Turk-like left us to do the work while they did 
the looking-on part. Under awnings in a cosy 
corner of the court-yard, where neither the keen 
frosty air nor large flakes of snow, which were 
now falling, could reach them, and from whence 
they fancied they might uninterrupted behold us 
do their dirty work, a group of Pashas, Priests, 

k 2 



134 



THE FIRE. 



and officers, contentedly seated themselves and 
commenced smoking. Having the flames nearly 
subdued, the moment for action of a more 
stirring nature was beginning to ripen, and at a 
given signal from our Woolwich commandant we 
put the hose to the right-about, and with full 
force from the two engines discharged several 
rounds of water among that group of lazy 
drones, who coolly looked on while we did their 
work. The unexpected announcement of so cold 
and unpleasant a visitor, as the water proved to 
be, had among that distinguished circle a 
dreadful effect. In a moment, pipes, chairs, 
fezzes, cloaks, and all unattached articles, were 
by the water flying in all directions, and their 
owners, from whose garments and hair the water 
was falling like rain, ran with a life-and-death 
speed from, the watery element. It was laugh- 
able to behold these fair-and-easy going person- 
ages, who on ordinary occasions would scarcely 
move, then ran as though it were for the life of 
them. In a short time we had the yard to 
ourselves, when we again turned our attention 
to extinguish the smouldering embers. This 
complete, we secured the hose, got into harness, 



THE FIRE. 



135 



and started to complete our St. Patrick carousal. 
But when about to leave the yard an interpreter 
informed us that in consequence of assaulting 
the Pashas and Priests by throwing water upon 
them, a file of Turkish soldiers, who acted as 
policemen, were outside the gates, and had 
orders to arrest us ; " and," added he, " do not 
be mistaken ; they have their bayonets fixed, 
and if you resist are commanded to use them 
against you ; besides, all the inhabitants are 
anxious to give you a drumming for your 
insolence, and, as they term it, assault upon the 
Pashas, so that under the circumstances I would 
advise you to make fast the gates, and do as the 
Turkish sentries did on your arrival— take up 
your position inside* while I hasten to the 
Capitain-Pasha at Tophana, who no doubt will 
issue immediate instructions for your safety. " 
" Mister Interpreter, v cried one of the Tippe- 
rary boys, " excuse me, but you have said quite 
enough. We thank you for your advice, but 
cannot, will not, adopt it." We came here 
to render assistance, for which we neither ex- 
pected nor required thanks ; but since we are 
threatened to be rewarded with blows, depend 



136 



THE FIRE. 



upon it we will not die without a kick. Tell 
your ungrateful countrymen that were they to 
number ten times as many, if they do not in- 
stantly withdraw from their threatening attitude, 
sixty Englateras will speedily march over their 
carcases." On the interpreter informing them 
of our determination not to quietly surrender, 
his message was met with " Away with the 
Christian dogs. To the Bosphorus hurry them. ! " 
" Pull out their tongues!" and other insulting 
expressions, Which showed us that matters would 
quickly assume a serious aspect. We advanced 
towards the gates, which were thrown open, out- 
side of which were thousands of the inhabitants, 
with clubs, spades, axes, and other formidable 
weapons, and forming the front and rear guard 
were soldiers whose bayonets bristled most 
pleasingly to the eyes of the savage multitude. 
When arrived at the gates, we had scarcely 
turned the engines across the gateway to act as 
kind of bearers in preventing them from rushing 
upon us in overwhelming numbers, ere a gruff 
determined Tipperary voice, which was not to be 
misunderstood, proceeded from our ranks, com- 
manding us to imitate the old English watch- 



THE FIRE. 



137 



word, " Up guards, and at them." In the twink- 
ling of an eye, swords were out of their scabbards, 
and revolvers at half cock, the sight of which 
struck terror in the cowardly multitude, particu- 
larly as one of our revolvers in the hurry of the 
moment accidently discharged, at the sound of 
which they commenced running in every direc- 
tion, and soldiers as well as civilians might be 
seen tumbling over each other in their anxiety 
to escape. In a very few moments we had no 
opposition to our leaving, as not a Turk was to 
be seen. When we found they were out of harm's 
way, we discharged some shots to let them know 
that if inclined we might have justly chastised 
them for their unkindness. Some of you may 
say, " But you deserved chastisement; why throw 
water upon the Pashas and Priests?" We, no 
doubt, might have committed the sin of trans- 
gression by so doing, but supposing your houses 
were on fire, and your neighbours of a cold frosty 
night to come to their rescue, I can scarcely 
think the most soft-handed or high-minded of 
you would plant yourselves on forms and stools, 
pull out your pipes or cigars, commence smoking, 
and contentedly look on while your neighbours 



138 



THE FIRE. 



endeavoured to extinguish them. If you 
should become a Turk, by only attending to 
the looking-on part, then I say you would 
deserve to get what they got — a good duck- 
ing. In justice to the officers and Pashas, I 
must admit that none of them appeared among 
the motly half-savage crew, who, had we been 
defenceless and resisted their authority to arrest 
us, would no doubt by overwhelming numbers 
have murdered us. I afterwards learned that 
there was no one connected with the government 
present, and that the soldiers, w r ho appeared only 
to run away, were induced to attend through re- 
presentations made to them to the effect that a 
party of Christians were assaulting Pashas^ 
Priests, and everyone they met in Constan- 
tinople. 

There is no regular police force ; a few 
companies of soldiers picquetted under a sergeant 
or corporal some miles between each other, are 
the sort of guardians the inhabitants of Constan- 
tinople have to look to for the safety of their 
persons or property. Some of these ex*officio 
policemen were the heroes who intended to 
lodge us in their underground lock-ups, but as 



DROWNING THE SAINT. 



139 



they fully verified the old proverb that he who 
fights and runs away, shall live to fight another 
day, and as Tipperarys hasty and stern command 
of " Up guards, and at them," saved us the 
trouble of testing their strength, we did not 
trouble ourselves to afterwards ascertain by 
whose authority they threatened us ; and so ended 
our anticipated pitched battle. 

DROWNING THE SAINT, 



On our return to complete the ceremony of 
drowning the Saint, we found that our comrade 
and the two Armenians whom we left in charge 
of the whisky and culinary departments, had 
indulged rather freely in testing the strength of 
the creator, as Carroty, with a large shillelagh 
flourishing over the Armenians' heads, was trying 
to make them join in the chorus of " Limerick 
races." On perceiving us he suddenly dropped 
the shillelagh, and with that kind of unconscious 
craft which Bacchus's followers ofttimes display, 



140 



DROWNING THE SAINT. 



told us that he was merely putting the Armenians 
through their facings. He no doubt was putting 
them through facings, but it was facings they did 
not much admire, as they every moment feared 
he would bring the shillelagh in contact witti 
their craniums. To prove to us that he had not, 
as he said, tasted a drop in our absence, he 
made an effort to lift a kettle off the fire to mix 
us some punch ; but no sooner did he make the 
effort, than he tumbled head foremost against a 
pile of empty cases which we had placed in 
rotation as a substitute for a sideboard, and on 
which were most of the glasses, decanters, 
tumblers, and other necessaries for our convivial 
meeting, the greater portion of which he not 
only broke, but spilt their contents; and to 
make amends for the mishap, while stretched 
upon the floor, he turned up with, as the fancy 
term it, a regular mug of impudence, and said, 
"You are a pretty lot of comrades to treat a poor 
fellow thus, after he acting so admirably as 
housekeeper in your absence ! " So saying, he 
drew up his legs, and with " Good night, lads, 
I'm off to Charlestown," he tucked the tail of 
his coat under his hips, and settled down on the 



DROWNING THE SAINT. 



141 



boards for a blanketless sleep. Fortunately for 
us, two large logs of wood which we placed upon 
the fires previous to our departure were cheer- 
fully burning, so that in a short time we had the 
kettles simmering, were enabled to mix a few 
rounds of punch, and with the aid of warm water 
remove the icicles from our garments and hair, 
and set-to in earnest to drown the Saint, which 
operation was performed without either a black 
eye or broken nose. 

In no place, even including old Ireland, 
could the Saint's anniversary be more reveren- 
tially or jocosely kept than it was in that 
lonely, uninhabited locality adjoining the Old 
Seraglio at Stamboul ; and although the assembly 
was composed of English, Irish, and Scotch, 
even when in the height of their merriment, 
or when labouring under the strongest influence 
of the creatur', no angry or offensive expression 
occurred between them ; the most pleasant and 
kindly feeling governed their proceedings. What* 
ever little differences of opinion as to countries 
or other casualties that may through passion or 
otherwise occur between them at home, none is 
manifest abroad, particularly in war time, when 
they greet each other only as brothers, fighting 



142 



DROWNING THE SAINT. 



under the same banner and marching shoulder 
to shoulder against their common enemy. It 
would be well if some narrow-minded folks at 
home would imitate the example of soldiers and 
civilians abroad, and look upon all from the three 
countries as sheep of the same fold, and worthy 
to be treated alike by those who claim to be 
their masters or shepherds, instead of occasion- 
ally displaying their ignorance, narrowminded- 
ness, and bigotry, in newspaper advertising 
columns by stating that " No so-and-so need 
apply." Those persons who thus manifest their 
littleness, perhaps until a recent date, never ex- 
pected to be able to employ a domestic. They 
forget that when so-and-so, or their friends or 
countrymen appear at the cannon's mouth, and 
at the risk or expense of their lives, materially 
aid in upholding the honour and greatness of 
England, they are not told they need not apply, 
or that their services are not needed* It is 
pleasing to know that this disgraceful habit of 
advertising for domestics is now almost confined 
to a few proprietors of certain low concerns, who 
are actually living by the very countrypeople they 
proclaim as being unworthy to be their meiiials* 
When daylight began to appear, Brown pro- 



DROWNING THE SAINT. 



143 



posed before separating we should, by torch- 
light, and fife-and-drums, serenade the ladies of 
the Seraglio ; his proposition being seconded, a 
show of hands signified it was carried unani- 
mously ; and when about to start, another of the 
party begged to move as an amendment that 
when at the Eoyal Mint facing the principal 
entrance to the Seraglio, a few rounds of blank 
cartridge be discharged from our revolvers as a 
salute of honour for the pining beauties of the 
Seraglio. This radical amendment, after some 
discussion and a little opposition, was likewise 
unanimously carried. An Armenian, with a kind 
of instrument resembling an Irish bagpipes, led 
the way, followed by two drummers, four fifes, 
three bugles, and two clarionets ; the remainder 
of the party marched two deep, with their swords 
unsheathed. The moment the sound of the music 
caught the ears of the eunuchs they aroused all 
the ladies, who rushed to the windows in their 
night dresses, and for once we got a peep at 
Turkish women without their faces being covered 
with disagreeable handkerchiefs. When arrived 
opposite Belinda's window, Brown being com- 
mandant or master of the ceremony, cried tc lia!t>" 



144 



DROWNING THE SAINT, 



and commanded us to present arms, which seemed 
to delight Belinda, who, although appearing rather 
shy in her dishabille, seemed to highly appreciate 
the honour conferred upon her. Suspecting that 
to indulge long in so harumskarum a frolic might 
he attended with unpleasant consequences, we 
hastened to the Royal Mint, discharged a few 
rounds of blank cartridge, which caused a general 
harking of dogs and the sudden opening and 
shutting of windows in the surrounding neigh- 
bourhood. 

Finding that the vicinity of Stamboul would 
soon become too hot to hold us, we hastily de- 
parted for Galata, took possession of two Greek 
lighters, rowed out on the Bosphorus facing the 
Seraglio, where drums, fifes, clarionets, and 
bugles were called to action, and " Patrick's day," 
" Garryowen," " Tara's hall," " The meeting of the 
waters, " " The girls we left behind us," and several 
other Irish airs were, on the twilight breeze 
wafted to the ladies of the Seraglio, who no doubt 
thought us a funny set of individuals. The ap- 
pearance of a commander and crew putting off 
from one of our men-of-war to I presume, require 
an explanation as to our break-o'-day manoeu- 



DROWNING THE SAINT. 



145 



vring, which we might not be able satisfactorily 
to give, caused us to steer our course to Scutari, 
where we on landing on the beach met a large 
party of Scutari boys seeking lighters or some 
mode of conveying them to our quarters, and, as 
they acknowledged, to pay the eunuchs and 
ladies of the Seraglio a peep-o'-day visit. On 
satisfying them that we had already performed 
that task, we made fast the two lighters, and ac- 
companied them to their St. Patrick's banquet- 
room, where on our arrival we could perceive that 
Bacchus had effectually exercised his power, as 
stretched topsy-turvy in every direction were 
many of the guests. 

After testing the strength of the Scutari cor- 
dial, with our force augmented we started for 
Lower Scutari and Armenian Town, where with 
fifes and drums we aroused the inhabitants from 
their peaceful slumbers, and after having many 
not very devout prayers offered up for us and our 
peep-o'-day visit, at five o'clock a m. on the morn- 
ing of the 18th of March we concluded our St. 
Patrick's holiday, and caused many to wish they 
might never more be disturbed by the admirers 
of Sprigs of shillelagh and shamrock so green. 



MISS NIGHTINGALE AT SCUTARI 
HOSPITAL. 



I will now call your attention to a large building 
situate on the banks of the Bosphorus and Sea 
of Marmora, which, although separated from 
Constantinople by the bay of the Golden Horn, 
being on a very elevated position is quite visible. 
This remarkable building, to which I wish to 
call your attention, is Scutari Hospital. After 
in a small boat battling for a considerable time 
with the rough billows of the Bosphorus, J. safely 
arrived near the hospital when my attention was 
first attracted by beholding several companies of 
fatigue soldiers marching in twos or fours, and 
carrying with them empty stretchers. They were 
sadly and silently wending their way down that 
rugged steep which leads from the hospital to the 
landing-place. Feeling anxious to know on what 
mournful errand they were proceeding, I followed 



MISS NIGHTINGALE AT SCUTARI HOSPITAL, 147 

them, and on reaching the beach perceived in 
the distance a large steamer bearing down 
towards the hospital. This vessel was coming 
from Sebastopol, and had on board a full cargo of 
wounded and dying soldiers. When she cast 
anchor, and the captain ordered all hands to 
assist in unshipping her freight of almost lifeless 
soldiers, n^ver can I forget the horrid and heart- 
rending scene which I beheld on these poor 
fellows being placed on stretchers and carried to 
the hospital. Some had their arms, legs, and 
other portions shattered to pieces, while not a few 
were deprived of both legs and arms ; and in no 
instance did I hear any of them utter a murmur 
against their fate ; their only regret seemed to be 
that there was no prospect of their ever be- 
holding their native land or those they held dear. 

After remaining as long as my nerves would 
permit me to witness such a scene, I directed my 
course towards the hospital, where on arriving I 
perceived mattresses and other substitutes for 
beds being hastily arranged in the corridors 
and every available place. On inquiry I ascer- 
tained that, in consequence of the crowded 
state of the hospital, Miss Nightingale had to 



148 



MISS NIGHTINGALE 



resort to this mode of securing accommodation 
and comfort for the cargo of wounded and dying 
soldiers which was then being landed. 

Hearing so much of Miss Nightingale and 
her noble deeds, I felt anxious to see what 
kind of person she was. On my way towards 
the kitchen of the hospital, where informed 
I was most likely to see her, I met three 
or four ladies whose mien and costume signi- 
fied they belonged to some religious order ; 
they had in their hands bandages, bottles, lint, 
and other necessaries, and were hurrying so 
hastily in the direction of the principal entrance 
to the hospital that I afterwards was sorry I 
accosted them ; but fearing I had lost my way to 
the kitchen, I merely inquired if I was in the 
right direction, when one of them, as she con- 
tinued almost running, replied, " That is the 
way, Sir; but Miss Nightingale cannot, will not, 
see anyone to-day except on business immediately 
connected with the last arrival of poor soldiers." 
Before I had time to inform her that I did not 
require or expect to have an interview with Miss 
Nightingale, she disappeared in one of the narrow 
windings of the long corridor. A little further 



AT SCUTARI HOSPITAL. 



149 



on I met several groups of ladies hurrying in the 
same direction, and carrying with them all kinds 
of necessaries. I next met a convalescent sol- 
dier, from whom I ascertained that the ladies I 
first met were Sisters of Mercy, and, under Miss 
Nightingale's instructions, were hurrying with 
necessaries for the soldiers as they were car* 
ried into hospital. With the efficient aid ren- 
dered by the medical staff, in conjunction with 
Miss Nightingale and her noble band, this cargo 
of wounded and dying soldiers was attended to 
in that prompt and kind manner which it would 
be almost impossible to expect. 

While the convalescent soldier and I were con- 
versing, several groups of ladies passed and 
re-passed. Presently the commander of this de- 
voted band followed, when her appearance as she 
hastened through the long corridor was the signal 
for salutes from the sentinels ; and although she 
did not seek such attention, still those who ad- 
mired her could not confine their respectful 
feelings. No general or commander, be he ever so 
brave, would be received with half the voluntary 
pomp or honour which every grade of soldiers 
I would bestow on that unexampled lady. Did she 

l 2 



150 



MISS NIGHTINGALE 



but undertake to command a brigade at the 
Crimea, no enemy, though he were ever so stub- 
born a Russian bear, could stand the charge of 
her enthusiastic followers ; indeed, future histo- 
rians might have to record her in battle as a 
second Jean de Arc ; but as it was, she had 
under her command the bravest as well as most 
kind and devoted of soldiers, who although not 
contending in the field of battle mid the conflict 
of warfare, were, in Scutari and other hospitals, 
with the implements of peace, kindness, and 
attention, warding off the dread stroke of death, 
and restoring to animation the almost lifeless 
sufferers around them. It was only in that awful 
emergency that woman's devotion and kindness 
could be fully manifest and appreciated. The 
soldier when he enters the field of battle, and 
when the bugler sounds the alarm or advance, 
may entertain the hope that should he become 
victor, he might be justly rewarded for his 
gallantry ; consequently, this prospect in view 
might stimulate him to action, and appear as it 
were a glimmer of hope in the midst of danger. 
But those ladies who, also at the risk of their 
lives, attended to the every want of the wounded 



AT SCUTARI HOSPITAL, 



151 



and dying, and who night or day were never 
absent from their post of duty, saw no golden 
prospect glitter in the future. The pleasing 
picture of at some future time becoming general 
of a division, or commander of a distinguished 
corps, did not spur them to action ; their ardour 
and attention to the dying and wounded was not 
centred on worldly considerations. The hazardous 
and truly soldiers part which they undertook to 
perform was discharged in that efficient manner 
which only the tender-hearted, noble-minded, 
and devoted could accomplish. Woman alone 
could successfully perform such patient and tender 
duties. When in the field of battle it may be truly 
remarked that in the midst of life those engaged 
are on the brink of death. In a general hospital 
one is not much more secure, where fever, cholera, 
diarrhoea, and numerous other contagious diseases 
are hourly hurrying their victims into eternity. 
In the midst of these awful scenes of the dead 
and the dying, you might behold a tall, pensive- 
looking lady, whose expression of countenance 
indicated the anxiety she felt for those under 
her care. You might also behold other ladies 
seeking her for council, among whom were many 



152 



MISS NIGHTINGALE 



who, whatever opinion some people may enter- 
tain as to their selection of a secluded religious 
life, they in time of need proved themselves true 
Samaritans. I need scarcely remind you that 
this tall, pensive-looking lady (whose appearance 
among the wounded and dying soldiers was the 
signal for acclamation, as well as the medium of 
inspiring in the most desponding bosom a feeling 
of hope) was Miss Florence Nightingale, without 
whose efficient aid and kind attention not half 
the invalid soldiers who returned to England 
would have again beheld it. The prompt manner 
in which they were attended to under her instruc- 
tions, as well as the cheerfulness and cleanliness 
by which they were surrounded, tended in a great 
measure to render them more quickly convales- 
cent, and enabled more speedily to rejoin their 
regiments. 

Scutari hospital, under Miss Nightingale's 
superintendance, may justly be termed a nursery 
for strengthening instead of diminishing our 
army. If such a title would not be displeasing, 
I fancy we might term her our best recruiting 
serjeant. Were it not for her, many a brave 
soldier might languidly linger in hospital until 



AT SCUTARI HOSPITAL. 



153 



he either relapsed into his former precarious 
state, or became affected by some of the con- 
tagious diseases around him. But as there are 
a sufficiency of living memorials to certify to 
her kindness and attention to all who needed it 5 
I will merely refer to those who are now no 
more, but who when about to bid adieu to this 
world had the consolation of being encouraged 
on their unknown journey by the soothing words 
of this kind lady and her companions. Who that 
has a spark of grateful feeling can look back 
to the dreadful scenes of the Crimean war, and 
not entertain the warmest affection for those 
ladies who, in a distant land, far from home or 
relations, with a sisterly love, whispered in 
the ear of dying soldiers, if not the balmy 
words of spiritual consolation, at least the hope of 
comfort ? If that dreary spot on the banks of the 
Sea of Marmora facing Scutari hospital, where no 
fond mother, sister, or brother ever treads its 
turf, or sheds upon its mould the tear of sorrow, 
or breathes the sigh of regret, but where a few 
undressed tombstones are the only emblems to 
show that beneath are lying motionless many of 
England's heroes, whose remains, if rumour be 



154 



MISS NIGHTINGALE 



correct, will not be allowed to smoulder undis- 
turbed by those barbarians in whose cause they 
sacrificed their lives ; — if those who are now 
smouldering in that far-off heathenish clime, 
could arise from their graves, who would they 
hail as their best of benefactors ? "Would it not 
be Miss Florence Nightingale and her com- 
panions? Next those ladies, the object of their 
regard would be the generous Lord Herbert, 
whose spirit, like their own, has now, alas ! fled, 
Lord Herbert was the soldier's friend, and in 
him Miss Nightingale, I doubt not, has lost a 
dear devoted friend, as he not only aided her in 
every possible manner in which his official 
capacity enabled him, but by his council 
strengthened her power of action. 

If, on the dreary banks of the Sea of Marmora, 
the spirits of these departed soldiers could 
assemble, they might remark : " Old England, you 
commanded us, and we willingly obeyed ? But 
it strikes us that these indolent Turks are 
scarcely worthy of the noble part England and 
France have acted towards them. The day has 
been gained on their behalf ; remnants of the 
allied armies have victoriously returned to their 



AT SCUTARI HOSPITAL. 



155 



native countries ; yet what beneficial object is 
achieved? The Russians, it is true, may for the 
present be compelled to halt on their march of 
encroachment, but ere long they will again start 
on a fresh expedition of conquest. Will England 
and France then so readily step forward as the 
champions of the Sick Man ? We doubt it. In 
the Crimean encounter we lost the flower of 
our armies, as well as lowered our exchequers, 
and what may we expect from the Sick Man 
in return ? Nothing ! He is powerless ; he 
is penniless ; his laws are rotten ; his govern- 
ment is shivering on its tottering foundation of 
profligacy ; he is incurable. Harems are the 
hobby-horses on which he is fast riding to beg- 
gary, if not perdition. Let him put an end to 
these dens of infamy, and release from the bond- 
age of degradation and contempt the women of 
his nation, and instruct them in morality and 
industry. The women, if once free from Harem 
bondage, would imbue the men with principles of 
industry and self-respect ; then there might be a 
hope for that country, and a reason why the Rus- 
sians should not with impunity be allowed to 
over- run it. But except some such remedies as 



156 



SCUTARI HOSPITAL AT NIGHT. 



these are applied, the Sick Man will never become 
convalescent, nor the people of England and 
France be justified in again so heroically espous- 
ing his cause." 



SCUTARI HOSPITAL AT NIGHT. 



Not being satisfied with my first visit to the 
hospital, which was at mid-day, I thought I 
should like to have a peep at its exterior by 
midnight, when the stillness which reigned 
around it was scarcely disturbed except by the 
moans of the dying, or gentle opening or shutting 
of ward doors by the lady nurses who noiselessly 
entered to see if their services were needed. I 
meditated for some time on the solemn stillness 
and gloomy aspect of that nursery of death, where 
at a short distance from its sepulchral-looking 
walls the occasional glimmer of lamps or 
dimly-burning candles from the night nurses r 
departments were the only tokens which signified 
that animation reigned within ; but on drawing 
close to a ward door or window, the moans 
which proceeded from the dying would cause the 



SCUTARI HOSPITAL AT IS T IGHT. 



157 



most hard-hearted to deeply feel for those who 
were hopelessly battling with that messenger 
who knows not to-morrow, but who the moment 
he announces his arrival all must alike yield to 
his sway, and immediately bid good-bye to the „ 
charms of life. A short time gazing upon that 
death -like place, with the moans of the dying (a 
warning to all) occasionally greeting your ears, 
would cause you to say, {i Here I am to night, in 
the enjoyment of health and spirits, yet ere 
to-morrow's eve I may be like many within, 
unsuccessfully battling with that enemy who will 
not surrender, and like them be clutching at 
some secure lifeboat to steer me to a secure 
haven." I assure you that, whatever might be 
your previous concern about dying, when looking 
upon that gloomy picture you would, except very 
hardened, be convinced of the awful reality of 
death. You might also, in that moment of 
silent meditation, ask yourself if you required 
the service of that lifeboat to row you to a secure 
harbour ; had you previously by belief or otherwise 
engaged a passage, when the disagreeable thought 
would strike you that you had not; but that 
when about to embark you were told by the pilot 



158 



SCUTARI HOSPITAL AT NIGHT. 



your name was not among the list of passengers 
who had previously secured their passages, you 
then, but too late, experience the truthfulness of 
the old proverb j " Never leave for to-morrow what 
you can do to -clay." 

After contemplating for a short time on that 
not very pleasing prospect, I walked towards the 
banks of the Sea of Marmora in the direction of 
the burial ground, where those who died in the 
hospital were interred : and from where as I 
looked around me my gaze was lost in the vast 
expanse of the ocean, the waves of which furiously 
dashed against the beach, and scattered their 
spray on the mould of those who lay motionless 
beneath its white foam. The screams of the 
sea-gulls or other wild fowl, as they flew inland 
in search of prey, were the only life-sounds which 
greeted my ears. The moon's silvery beams as 
they reflected on the undressed headstones ena- 
bled me to perceive many familiar names whose 
owners were sleeping the sleep of death, and 
who a short time previously were, like me, in the 
enjoyment of health, and perhaps addressing 
letters to dear ones at home, assuring them of 
their speedy return. But such is the uncertainty 



SCUTARI HOSPITAL AT NIGHT. 



159 



of life that most probably ere the ink was dry or 
the mail-bag had enclosed them in its mysterious 
folds, the spirits of their writers had fled to that 
other world from whence no tidings can reach us 
of their safe or unsafe arrival. There is too deep 
and serious a mystery connected with this other 
world for one to dare attempt to raise the veil 
and steal a glimpse at its prospect. Mysterious, 
indeed, is the manner in which all its arrange- 
ments are carried out. "We have clever persons 
among us who by their study and science can al- 
most undertake to unravel any difficulty or solve 
any question, yet with regard to the next world 
they are as much in the dark as ourselves. The 
keen eye of study or bright gaze of intellectual 
capacity are alike blind to the mysterious uncer- 
tainty of our prospect in the world to come. 
And perhaps it may be as well for us to be kept 
in the dark, for were we certain as to our state 
in the next world, we might even become greater 
hypocrites than the generality of us already are. 

Supposing a messenger was to come from the 
next world and inform us that we had only a few 
days or hours to remain here, and that our future 
happiness or misery depended upon our repent- 



160 



SCUTARI HOSPITAL AT NIGHT. 



ance or humiliation during that brief sojourn, 
would we not turn the greatest cowards imagin- 
able, by immediately falling upon our marrow, 
bones and sprinkling the ground with our tears? 
not so much in atonement for our transgres- 
sions, as for fear of having uncomfortable 
quarters allotted to us on our arrival there. It 
is both wise and just not to allow any of us to 
know our fate, as then there can be no advantage 
taken by them who have not much of life's 
troubles to contend with. When the pulse once 
ceases to beat, and the smile of joy from our 
lips or brightness from our eyes depart, the rich 
and the poor alike start upon the same route to 
give an account of their stewardship. And are 
we not told that upon their arrival before the 
judgment-seat there is no distinction of persons ; 
that according to their merits while here all are 
placed upon equality there, and that those who 
were clothed in fine garments and had their pre- 
sence announced by the booming of cannon or 
flourishing of trumpets will appear no greater, or 
perhaps not so great, as many poor outcasts who 
went hungering to their gates, and who because 
they might have craved the crumbs which fell 



SCUTAEI HOSPITAL AT NIGHT, 



161 



from their tables were given into the safe keep- 
ing of some kind- hearted policeman, who saw 
that they were lodged in safe keeping ? 
This announcement of no classification in 
the next world, although hardly palatable to the 
rich, is gratifying to the poor. Only think of 
Johnny the valet, who while here had with 
almost the swiftness of a bird to attend to his 
master's every command, and who if he displeased 
that master in either the arranging of his 
imperial or cravat, was fearful lest he should dis- 
charge him without a character— what a contrast 
to see Jack as good as his master in the world to 
come ! Then there is Mary, the ladies' maid, 
who, if she happen to let one of her mistress' 
curls leave its graceful shape, she is for one week 
confined to the region of frowns — wont Mary 
feel proud on being placed upon equality with 
her mistress ! But as regards this classification 
system, we are kept as much in the dark concern- 
ing it as we are to the time we shall have to start 
upon that unknown journey. Yet it is cheering to 
think that all are to be treated according to their 
merits. Were people not impressed with such 
belief, earth would become a second hell. As it 



162 



SCUTARI HOSPITAL AT NIGHT. 



is, thousands, nay millions of us scarcely ever 
think of dying until we are no longer able to go 
pleasure-seeking, and until that unwelcome 
messenger called Death pays us a visit; then, 
when we find our days are numbered, we shout 
for mercy, and begin to get awfully afraid of the 
devil, whose existence we scarcely ever thought 
of while able to stir about. If well-to-do in the 
world, when w r e arise in the morning we spend 
a few hours with the assistance of our maid or 
man-servant in making ourselves appear genteel ; 
after breakfast we order our coach, drive for 
recreation, and look with contempt upon all who 
cannot, like ourselves, turn out with a pair of 
chesnuts or greys. When evening comes, and 
when the sons of toil are retiring to repose after 
their day's labour, we are sallying forth in search 
of new pleasures. We remain in the ball-room 
or among the dinner-party until our heads reel or 
our eyes grow dim through the excitement of the 
polka or waltz. We don't go home till morning, 
nor get out of bed till mid-day, at which hour 
when we appear before that awful tell-tale called 
the mirror, and look at our pale features from 
which the bloom of health or glow of beauty is 



SCUTARI HOSPITAL AT NIGHT. 



163 



fast declining, we may say, " Dear me ! I do not 
look as I used to do ; what is the cause ? why are 
my cheeks losing their colour, or my eyes their 
brightness? From this moment I will keep 
better hours, and indulge less in champagne 
breakfasts. I find that all the luxuries of which 
I can partake are not able to keep me from 
drawing closer and closer to that cold resting- 
place from whence I cannot get a glimpse of the 
pleasures of life, or share in those midnight 
revelries I used to love to patronise." 

But enough ; I am not going to preach a 
moralising sermon, nor would I like to see people 
with faces as long as to-day and to-morrow, and 
never mix among social or pleasant society. I 
do not believe in those folks who wear sanctified 
looks ; nor will I try to make you imagine that 
my visit to the tombs of the dead at so unusual 
an hour in so lonely a place has converted me 
into a saint. But this I know, that if we occa- 
sionally experience such visits, they would more 
strongly remind us of having some day to pay 
that debt which those who were lying motionless 
beneath had just discharged. 

After a short stay at Scutari, being satisfied 

M 



164 



HOMEWARD BOUND, 



that not only had Miss Nightingale, her lady 
companions, and the medical staff, fulfilled to the 
letter that memorable remark, " England expects 
every man to do his duty/' but you find that 
every one in all other departments from the 
highest to the lowest were anxious to discharge 
in as efficient and praiseworthy a manner as 
possible the respective duties allotted to them. 
You again return to Stamboul, and peace being 
proclaimed, find the three persons I have so often 
mentioned packing up their traps, and in other 
respects preparing for a homeward voyage. 



HOMEWARD BOUND. 



On your return to Stamboul, you find Brown, 
although unusual for him, looking rather down- 
cast. You ask him what is the matter : he tells 
you he came to Turkey with a light heart and 
easy mind, but on returning he cannot boast of 
possessing either. "While thus conversing a 
messenger arrives from the admirals office in- 
forming them that a vessel was shortly expected 



HOMEWARD BOUND, 



165 



from Balaklava 5 and that they had better prepare 
to embark for London. Jones and Robinson 
received the intelligence with joy. Brown, 
although not manifesting the least concern, by 
glancing at his countenance, from its variety of 
colours, one moment red, another deadly pale, 
you could easily perceive that his mind was ill 
at ease; and he being of too haughty a nature 
to admit he was experiencing the least uneasiness, 
he no doubt the more keenly felt its sting. 
Most probably he had made arrangements on 
that night to attempt to procure Belinda's 
release ; if so he must be sorely grieved when 
the order to embark blighted all hopes of 
trying the experiment. Indeed the announce- 
ment of their having to suddenly depart must be 
a sad blow to him, as the time being so short 
until they were to embark, he had no opportunity 
of communicating with her. Then in the 
absence of any explanation, what would she 
think of his sudden departure ? might it not 
strike her that he was faithless, and to shirk the 
responsibility or danger he would risk in 
trying to get her from the Seraglio, cowardly, 
without even saying farewell, hasten away, 



166 



HOMEWARD BOUND. 



and leave her to contemplate on the faithful- 
ness of man, and to regret she ever placed 
confidence in him? The fear that she might 
for a moment entertain such an idea preyed 
more upon his mind than any other con- 
sideration, and accounts for the many times 
in a few moments he changed colour. But he 
not being composed of that paper kind of mate- 
rial which will yield to every pressure and bear 
against none, without uttering a murmur was the 
first to arrive on board the ship. But was he re- 
solved to remain on board, or was his hurried 
arrival there but to make people believe that his 
leaving Stamboul did not cause him regret? 
From the manner he passed the Seraglio, his 
comrades and the wily eunuchs surmised that he 
was not going for good; and the ladies of the Ser- 
aglio were much disappointed and displeased at 
the manner he left, as when the eunuchs informed 
them that the three Englateras were suddenly 
ordered home, they assembled in their windows, 
and from the waving of handkerchiefs and other 
marks of esteem showed that they had no cause, 
as the eunuchs first anticipated they would, to 
regret the long stay of their English neighbours. 



HOMEWARD BOUND, 



167 



Brown being always very polite, they expected 
that on his departure he would exceed the others 
in acknowledging their farewell attentions ; but 
they were disagreeably mistaken in the cold 
manner in which he passed them, scarcely 
noticing their presence. There must be some 
cause for this cold indifference — had they pre- 
viously offended him ? If so, he could scarcely 
be so ungallant as, when about to bid them a 
long adieu, not to acknowledge their farewell 
attentions. Yet he passed them so heedlessly 
that on his comrades departing, the windows 
were unoccupied and the pavement not strewn 
with a bouquet. If he did not intend to again 
return, he would at least have paid more atten- 
tion to the occupant of one window. But there 
seemed to be some kind of an invisible under- 
standing between them, as it was remarked that 
Belinda did not by the waving of her handkerchief 
or otherwise manifest so much emotion as the 
other ladies. Perhaps she heard from the 
eunuchs that their orders to leave were so 
sudden that he could not inform her of his 
departure, and she relied upon his promise if 
an opportunity occurred to on that night procure 



168 



HOMEWARD BOUND. 



lier releasement ; not, as many may imagine, to 
bring her with him to England. That would be 
impossible. No captain of a ship dare enter 
such a prohibited commodity upon his bill 
of lading ; he might easier take one hundred 
Slidells and Masons on board than one Sultans 
wife, that is, if it was known, and he not clear 
off the Dardanelles. If once braving the billows 
on the Mediterranean, he need not care for a 
Sultan or chief eunuch ; but as European 
captains are forbidden to grant passages to 
Turkish women, especially to inmates of Harems, 
it would be impossible for Brown to have her 
securely stowed away. Consequently he did 
not entertain any such idea. His object was to 
endeavour to procure her release, she having 
an aunt of position in Bulgaria with whom she 
was to reside, and there in quiet solitude con- 
template upon the many sorrowful hours she 
passed in the Seraglio. 

When Jones and Eobinson arrived on board 
the ship, their first duty, as they reckoned it, 
was to request of the captain not to allow Brown 
to return on shore. They in a few brief 
sentences informed him of the fatal result likely 



HOMEWARD BOUttD. 



169 



to attend any attempt he might make in procuring 
Belinda's release. The captain informed them 
that under the circumstances he would issue 
orders that none of the passengers were to be 
allowed to go ashore, so that Brown could not 
imagine he was the only one denied the privilege. 
Previous to the captain's orders being made 
known, one of the middies noticed Brown in a 
corner of the hold where his luggage was stowed 
away, carefully trying some caps which he placed 
upon two six-barrel revolvers. The middy not 
being aware of the contemplation of a Harem 
visit, became alarmed lest Brown was about to 
use them against some one on board, and under 
the influence of fear hastened to the captain, 
told him what he saw, to which the captain 
replied, " All right ; I know 7 all about it. Hoist 
the blue peter, lower the jibboom. By this time 
Brown appeared on deck and was about to hail a 
Greek boat, when the chief mate asked him if 
he was not aware that in consequence of the 
short time they had to remain in the Golden 
Horn, no would be allowed to go on shore. 
Brown replied that he was not aware of it, nor 
would he obey such instructions ; adding that he 



170 



HOMEWARD BOUND. 



was under military, not naval orders. The 
captain, on hearing this reply, stepped forward and 
informed Brown that while on hoard his ship 
no military arrangements would or should in- 
terfere with his instructions. " Besides/' said he, 
how would your superintendent of stores like me 
to go to his depot and interfere with his rules? 
Make up your mind not to leave this deck. You 
are now returned to me, and were you the first 
prince of the land, on shore you should not go. 
" That is a kingly manifesto," replied Brown; "hut 
listen to me, captain. Although one of the last 
to encourage insubordination or refractory pro- 
ceedings, supposing I made up my mind to go, 
and could procure a boat to convey me, how 
would you prevent me ? " " In the easiest 
manner possible," coolly replied the captain. At 
this stage of the proceedings they eyed each 
other with that defiant look which persons 
assume when determined to resort to other 
weapons beside the tongue. For a moment both 
remained silent, when Brown after reviewing 
the gloomy future which was before Belinda if 
destined to remain in the Seraglio, and how that 
she might imagine he made no effort to release 



HOMEWARD BOUKD. 



171 



her, broke the silence by informing the captain 
he was determined to go ashore whatever might 
be the consequence. The captain being a man 
of experience as well as determination, informed 
Brown that on board a ship as well as on shore, 
everyone not obeying instructions was subject to 
martial law; " and," added he, " under ordinary 
circumstances I would, were you my first officer, 
for the defiant and disrespectful manner you 
addressed me, have called the carpenter, who 
with assistance, would speedily place you in not 
very comfortable quarters ; but as I know a little 
about the cause of your anxiety to return to 
Stamboul, I can sympathise with you, although 
for your own sake I will not allow you to go on 
shore. Step into the cabin, we'll crack a bottle 
of champagne and talk the matter over." The 
gentlemanly manner in which the captain ad- 
dressed Brown took him quite off his guard, 
as from his previous demeanour he expected to 
have to fight his way on shore, and although 
aware in that capacity he would have but little 
chance of success, in the excitement of the 
moment he would have risked it. 

When seated in the cabin, the captain, 



172 



HOMEWARD BOUND. 



addressing Brown, requested liim to seriously 
listen to what he was about to mention ; first to 
bear in mind that there were few to whom he 
would take the trouble of conveying his opinion, 
for, said he, " my seafaring life through which I 
am never out of danger's view, has caused me to 
think less of troubles and disappointments than 
landsmen might. But experience and the 
multiplicity of dangers to which I am daily, nay 
hourly, subject, causes me to more thoroughly 
understand where real danger lies. Do you 
hear me, old boy ? " At this moment Brown 
was in deep meditation, most probably about the 
Seraglio ; he paid no attention to what the 
captain was saying ; yet on rousing up he said, 
" Oh yes, captain, I perfectly understand that 
the Bay of Biscay is a dangerous place." " Hang 
you and the Bay of Biscay ! " returned the 
captain; " you are not paying the least attention 
to what I say. But mark me ; I would rather 
chance my ship among the largest and most 
dangerous shoal of rocks on the African coast, 
than run the risk of trying to get one of them 
she-beauties from the Seraglio. I admire your 
spirit, and though old as I am, if I saw any 



HOMEWARD BOUND, 



173 



prospect of success I would sheer off on such a 
cruise myself ; but where there is no prospect, 
only maniacs would venture. You may long to 
procure the liberty of a Sultana or whatever she 
may be, and she may sigh to go to England." 
" Oh, no, captain," interrupted Brown, " there 
is no such agreement attached to the deed of her 
release." " So much the better, " said the 
captain, " as there is less consequence to be 
attached to her escape. If she only wants to get 
free from the Seraglio, she can at any time 
adopt a plan, without causing you and her to 
risk your lives. When a woman feels inclined to 
carry out her ideas, no power will prevent her ; 
our fair acquaintances excel us in that admir- 
able quality of not yielding until they carry out 
their resolves. Besides, I will forfeit my head if 
by the time we arrive at Malta you have not 
forgotten all about the Seraglio. The Maltese 
women are devilish pretty, besides they have not 
to wear on their faces them thick white hand- 
kerchiefs which caused the Turkish women to 
look for all the world like a party of juveniles 
playing blindman's-buff. At this part of the 
conversation the chief mate interrupted them 



174 



HOMEWARD BOUKD. 



by announcing to the captain the arrival on board 
of the last of the passengers and cargo, and to 
know if they were to prepare for sailing. " Aye, 
aye," replied the captain; " get in all the gear, 
and get up all the canvas. It now blows a 
favourable breeze, with which we will in a short 
time bid good-bye to the Valley of Dogs." He 
then opened a drawer from which he took a 
powder, and when helping Brown to a third glass 
of champagne, put some of its contents into his 
glass, remarking that it was an ingredient to 
prevent the champagne from having too much 
effect upon a disturbed mind. Brown after 
emptying the glass began to feel a kind of 
stupor creep over him ; he reclined upon a 
cushioned-seat, and in a short time was in the 
close embrace of Morpheus, through whose vision 
he was victoriously leading Belinda from the 
Harem, and like a victor of a hundred battles was 
proudly contemplating on the prospectof his glory. 
How long he must have been allowed to indulge 
in this pleasing vision may be imagined from 
the fact that when he awoke, the ship, with the 
aid of a stiff breeze, was gallantly passing the 
mouth of the Dardanelles. Nor would he have 



HOMEWARD BOUND, 



175 



then awoke but for the stupidity yet kind feeling 
of Jones and Robinson, who from the time he 
fell asleep, against the captain's orders, kept 
hovering around him. They fancied he was 
dead, and hearing it remarked by the sailors that 
when a shark follows a ship some one is to die, 
and at that moment one of these frightful mon- 
sters having appeared at the stern, Jones shouted 
out " I knew he was dead ; see there is a shark 
waiting for him ; " he accompanied his shout 
with a bounce upon Brown, and with a pitiful 
cry of " Are you dead?" raised him clean from 
the cushions, which caused Brown upon opening 
his eyes to look confused, and the captain and 
crew to join in a hearty laugh. When he rubbed 
the effects of the sleep from his eyes, his first 
inclination was as he thought to have a look once 
more at the Seraglio ; but what must have been 
his surprise and dissapointment, when going on 
deck to find that he was destined to no more 
behold either Belinda or the Seraglio. Regret 
was useless ; his conscience cleared him of any 
inattention in striving to release her, as the 
captain's powder unconsciously deprived him of 
all power to attempt it. Fate and her own 
sagacity must accomplish what he could not. 



176 



HOMEWARD BOUND. 



Finding that he was foiled in his attempt he 
retired to his bunk, nor did he before they arrived 
at Malta indulge in conversation or the many 
time-killing amusements which are resorted to 
on board a ship. 

When on shore at Malta, after viewing many 
other remarkable buildings we called at St. John's 
Cathedral. It is a magnificent edifice. We were 
shown the altar from which a certain emperor 
took the golden gates, which are now replaced 
by silver ones. Let us hope that no other person 
of the name will ever be so hard-up as by taking 
these silver ones commit a sacrilegious felony. 

I do not think so much of Malta as other peo- 
ple might. It is a sultry, and in my opinion an 
unhealthy place, void of much natural scenery or 
social or refined society. Of course there is a sprink- 
ling of elite and fascinating residents, but the 
generality of the inhabitants, from their business 
appearance, resemble our Petticoat-lane traders. 
I heard a deal about the Maltese women, but do 
not think so much of them ; they are mostly all 
fat, not fair ; how they appear at forty I cannot 
say, as the day being excessively warm scarcely 
any but juveniles were to be seen. 

Between Malta and Gibraltar, one day after 



HOMEWARD BOUND. 



177 



dinner, the general topic was about the Maltese 
women. Brown now beginning to recover from 
his reget in not being able to make an effort to 
release Belinda, and the captain being in a plea- 
sant mood, requested of him to sing a song, 
which he at first declined on the plea that every- 
one but him had cause to rejoice at being home- 
ward bound ; but as such an apology would not 
be accepted, he sang the following of Moore's— 

THE TIME I'VE LOST IN WOOING. 

The time I've lost in wooing, 
Watching and pursuing 

The light that lies 

In woman's eyes, 
Has been my heart's undoing. 

Though Wisdom oft has sought me, 
I scorned the lore she brought me ; 

My only books 

Were woman's looks, 
And folly's all they've taught me. 

Her smile when Beauty granted 
I hung, with gaze enchanted 

Like hi ai the sprite 

Whom maids by night 
Oft meet in glens that's haunted. 



178 



HOMEWARD BOUND, 



Like him, too, Beauty won me, 
But while her eyes were on me, 

If once their ray 

Was turned away, 
O, winds could not outrun me. 

And are those follies going, 
And is my proud heart growing 

Too cold or wise 

For brilliant eves 
Again to set it glowing ? 

No ; vain, alas ! th' endeavour 
From bonds so sweet to sever ; 

Poor wisdom's chance 

Against a glance, 
Is now as weak as ever. 

Brown had no sooner finished, than the 
captain, who was a jolly old chap, grasped him 
by the hand, saying, ;i You are a clever fellow ; 
your selection could not be more suitable for the 
occasion. I am glad you acknowledge that 
brilliant eyes can have as much effect upon you 
now as when at Stamboul Cheer up, there is 
money bid for you yet. But when once more 
on dry land, be more particular in casting 
anchor so close to Cupid's Bower ; it is very 



HOMEWARD BOUND. 



179 



dangerous soundings. Them she-crafts, when 
in full trim, sail up the Bower of Pleasure so 
tempting and gaily, that except one is well 
skilled in nautical tactics, they are sure to carry 
off the bowsprit of the heart, and leave the figure- 
head in a sad plight. " 

We speedily arrived at Gibraltar, which is 
very well as a garrison inlet. I believe it is the 
most formidable in existence. Woe be to the 
proud ship that dare to pass it in defiance ; the 
bull- dogs which peer from its ramparts would- 
not only bark but dangerously bite. 

Next comes the Bay of Biscay. Oh, what a 
disagreeable place ! Its waters seem to be ever 
at variance with each other, and, being restive 
themselves, are determined that all who visit 
them shall experience the same uneasiness. But 
unless passengers experience some disagreeable- 
ness, they would have no idea of a seafaring life, 
which although it sometimes may produce sweets, 
has always a plentiful supply of sours, especially 

i on a long voyage in a sailing vessel, when fresh 
necessaries disappear and cannot be replaced, 
and one has to repeatedly turn upon salt junk, 

I brick biscuit, or greasy cocoa, from which I 

I devoutedly pray, deliver us. 



180 



HOMEWARD BOUND. 



The scenery between London and Constanti- 
nople is beautiful, and many remarkable places 
appear in view, such as a portion of the walls of 
Troy, Mount Etna, a view of the ancient city of 
Greece, and the Archipelago. After spinning 
many yarns and cracking many jokes, we at 
length sighted old England. What a pleasing 
sight ! how delighted the eye once more to 
behold these time-honoured cliffs, which we many 
times feared we would never again behold. Only 
those who have been to a foreign country, and 
separated from friendly companions or esteemed 
friends, can fully understand the amount of joy 
experienced after a long voyage on beholding the 
land of their birth or adoption. Every pleasant 
sensation which the wings of memory could recal 
to the imagination would immediately present 
themselves to one's view, and the doubts and 
surmises which might have previously existed in 
the imagination would instantly vanish, on 
beholding those familiar faces one longed to see. 
No more would Eastern beauties reign supreme 
in the throne of their affections; all except 
Belinda would be erased from their recollection, 
but her vision has without a doubt found a 
constant dwelling in Brown's memory, neither 



OUR FLEET AT SEA. 



181 



distance or time can diminish the esteem in 
which he still holds her. 

OUR FLEET AT SEA. 



While still on board ship, and bravely gliding 
o'er the waves in the direction of Dover, permit 
me to observe that it is on the bosom of the 
billows England's grandeur and the real materials 
of her glory are manifest. The strength of that 
mighty nation is in the keeping of her vigilant 
sentinels at sea. How grand the sight, and how 
proud the beholder must feel as he glides o'er 
the billows, to behold in every direction the war- 
dogs of England, who are the guardians of its 
homes and treasures, as well as the terror of their 
enemies. On almost every speck of the ocean 
you can behold vessels steering either to or from 
England ; and anchored in suitable positions are 
their sentinels, in the shape of men-of-war, who 
by their presence secure the safety of peace and 
commerce, as well as demonstrate the power 
of Great Britain. The Commander-in-Chief, 

n 2 



182 



OUR FLEET AT SEA. 



Secretary of State for War, or Prime Minister, are 
according to their official capacity entitled to rank 
pre-eminent in the councils of the empire, but 
in my opinion the First Lord of the Admiralty, 
under whose instructions are the nation's real 
sentinels, holds the proudest position a man 
could desire. When the time arrives that England 
may be called upon to display her might, to what 
quarter will she first look ? is it not to see that 
our fleet are bullet and sea-proof ? 

I cannot complete my trip to Turkey without 
referring to our French neighbours, among 
whom I passed many pleasant hours at Con- 
stantinople and who always received me and my 
comrades in the most friendly manner ; indeed 
the warm friendship which continued to exist 
between French and English in that foreign 
clime cannot or should not be easily broken. In 
the field of battle they marched like brothers 
side by side, and for the one cause, thoughtless 
of consequences, led by their enthusiasm swept 
on through the shrieks of the dying, booming of 
artillery, and piercing of sabres, until grim 
death embraced them in his folds. It is the 
interest of the one as much as the other to 



OUR FLEET AT SEA. 



183 



uphold that friendship. There may be an 
occasional dispute or misunderstanding between 
the two governments or peoples — it cannot be 
avoided; where is the family that occasional 
bickerings do not exist among some of its 
members ? but when the breeze of excitement 
blows over, they can then see how disadvan- 
tageous and disagreeable might have been the 
consequences to both had they resorted to blows. 
It would be an unfortunate moment for both 
countries, that is for the industrious portion of 
them, should they hoist the banners of opposition 
and try to lower them with a Whitworth or 
Armstrong messenger, while hand in hand, they 
can, if inclined, and by keeping jealousy out of 
view, sail very smoothly together. We must 
bear in mind that Governments cannot act with 
that hasty impulse which animates their subjects, 
nor is it right they should, as at times the flood 
of popular excitement might drift them into use- 
less and endless difficulties. It is my earnest 
desire to see the two Governments and people 
continue as they now seem to be, on the most 
friendly footing; but should any unforeseen cir- 
cumstance occur by which the honour of both 



184 



OUR FLEET AT SEA. 



was compromised, and which caused them to have 
to test each other s strength, then let them by all 
means turn up their sleeves, have a good set-to, 
then shake hands, and have no more about it ; 
but I hope the time is far distant when a physical 
remedy shall have to be applied in settling any 
dispute between them. 

Poor Turkey ! you should see her fleet ; they 
remind one of a Dutchman's canoe. As I am 
once more at Turkey, permit me to inform the 
play-going or pleasure-seeking portion of you, 
that at Constantinople there are no places of 
amusement, except one or two gardens, where 
bands of music daily play, and the Italian Opera 
at Para, which is opened on Sunday as well as 
other days. There are no theatres or concert 
rooms; — you would have no chance of beholding 
the drowning of a Colleen Bawn, or the sale of 
an Octoroon, nor could you indulge in a peep at 
a Madame Tussauds or Polytechnic. There is no 
Rotten Row or Kensington Gardens, — how dis- 
agreeable the word Rotten Row sounds, and how 
miscalled ! Beauty's Row, or Venus's Promenade 
would be far more applicable, as in no place in 
the world is the bevy of beauty and grandeur 



OUR FLEET AT SEA. 



185 



to be seen, than on a midsummer s day at that 
uncouth-named place called Rotten Row. There 
a person, be he ever so humble, may behold 
beauty in its fullest perfection. It is not hid 
or disfigured by the disgusting presence of a 
white handkerchief bound round the face. There 
a lady may smile, nod, or converse with whom 
she thinks proper, and not on her return home 
be afraid that by so doing she will be condemned 
to the black hole. How sweet, yet just are such 
privileges ! Still, if one might judge from the 
occasional paragraphs of puppyism which appear 
in certain journals, you might be inclined to 
think that had fops their way, the etiquettes and 
costumes of our ladies should be arranged ac- 
cording to their taste. It is evident from the 
occasional uncalled-for remarks from a certain 
class of croakers or briefless practitioners, that 
they would, if they could, subject our ladies to 
the same disagreeable and slavish habits which 
unfortunately Turkish women must submit to. 
This fraternity of hen-pecked husbands, croaker 
brothers, or briefless aspirants, appears to be 
dreadfully alarmed at the sight of crinolines, red 
stockings, or pretty ankles, while at the same 



186 



OUR FLEET AT SEA. 



time when having their own garments arranged, 
it is woe -be to the poor tailor who stints them 
either in soldier's fat about the shoulders, or ex- 
tensives from the hips to the ankles. I am glad 
that ladies exercise their just right in adopting 
whatever kind of costume they choose. Men 
do not consult them when about to give orders 
for pegtops ; then I cannot see on what right of 
authority they dispute the taste of their fair 
friends or acquaintances. Perhaps some of them 
would like to behold ladies trudging through the 
streets with blindfolded visages, loose wrappers, 
loose slippers, and no stockings, which is the 
ordinary costume of Turkish women. By being 
so arrayed, jealous or bashful individuals might 
not be under the disagreeable necessity of having 
them so much admired, and could the more 
strongly assert their right of being the all-powei% 
ful lords of the creation. Woman was never 
ordained to be the crouching slave of man. 
These petty and self-opiniated critics who in- 
dulge in ridiculous and doating remarks, had 
better get to Turkey, where their wishes may be 
complied with, and they fully permitted to wear 
the breeches, But from Turkish laws, Turkish 



BROWN, JONES, AND KOBINSON AT HOME. 187 

habits, and Turkish trips, I am most glad to be 
delivered. 



BROWN, JONES, AND ROBINSON AT 
HOME. 



After landing at the London Docks, when the 
Custom-house searchers had rigidly discharged 
their duty, it claimed all their attention to see to 
their luggage, or else crimps or the many other 
eaves-dropping sprites who infest the neighbour- 
hood of Ratcliffe-highway would cause them to 
disappear ; having attended to that necessary 
duty, they on having a parting glass agreed if 
distance separated them, to keep up a paper 
correspondence. As Jones and Robinson belong 
to that numerous class who would sooner do 
anything than sit down to write, I will not trou- 
ble you with any of their epistles ; but Brown 
being one of those who can make himself as 
content while inditing a rigmarole as otherwise, 
I will give you a few specimens of his penman- 
ship. Jones and Robinson having resided near 




188 BROWN, JONES, AND ROBINSON AT HOME. 



each other, he made the one letter do for both. 
His first was about Miss Nightingale and the 
presentation of rifle bugles — it ran as follows ; — 

[Letter No, L] 

Brown to Jones and Robinson. 

My Dear Old Comrades, 

As merry old Christmas, with its many merry- 
making festivities, has departed, and as we find ourselves 
once more launched upon the uncertain pilgrimage of 
another year, it may not be out of season to make a few 
observations with regard to the past. At this time last 
year none of us even dreamed of beholding the sponta- 
neous organisation of so formidable an auxiliary to our 
army as the Eifle Corps now assuredly is ; and which 
every patriotic individual should wish to see continued, 
because it not only embues its members with military 
ardour and healthful recreation, but shows other nations 
that England's sons are prepared, if circumstances 
needed them, to unite in defending their homes and 
their honour. But although highly as I admire the 
efficiency, &c. of our rifle forces, I cannot say I agree 
with all the chirruping which is made manifest on some 
occasions at the presentation of rifle bugles. The ladies 
who present these instruments, and the gallant gentle- 
men to whom they are presented, display such musical 
and, may I add, flattering sentiments, that when the 
time arrives, if ever, for buglers to sound the alarm, 
these instruments being so impressed with the endearing 
sentiments of their presentation ceremonies, can scarcely 
be expected to sound the shrill notes of warfare. It is 
I admit, a pleasing sight to behold a delicate hand pre- 
senting a nicely-manufactured bugle, while at the same 



BROWN, JONES, AND ROBINSON AT HOME. 189 



time its fair donor is eloquently, nay, even poetically 
assured that when its shrill notes shall summon them to 
battle, even then its fair subscribers shall be foremost in 
their memory. The ladies of England have done much 
to strengthen the rifle cause ; their patriotic exhor- 
tations and kind presentations cannot be too highly 
appreciated. It is well known that woman's influence 
is boundless : therefore I am much pleased to notice, 
with earnestness, they have adopted the Rifle cause, but 
as I before mentioned, I do not hold with so much 
oratorical parading as is displayed on some occasions — 
look, for example, to the speech of one gallant captain 
on receiving a silver bugle for his regiment. The lady 
who presented it, although courtesy compelled her to 
listen, is, I am satisfied, too sensitive not to perceive that 
all the ingredients of which that extra dose of flattery 
was composed could not be genuine. These are some 
of its rich ingredients: "Next the Queen on the throne 
there is no lady in the land from whom we should con 
sider it a greater privilege to receive this gift Your 
name is known throughout the length and breadth of the 
empire, and where known it is loved and honoured." 
This is all very well, captain. A great many may know, 
and I assure you no one more freely admits than I do, 
that the object of your praise is a good and charitable 
lady ; but there is at least one other as good, as charit- 
able, and should be as clearly loved and honoured, and, 
with all due respect to other ladies, should if any prefer- 
ence were made, be placed next the Queen on the 
throne. This lady is Miss Florence Nightingale. Other 
ladies may build churches, and patronise humane insti- 
tutions ; they have the means ; a dip of their pen at 
their own firesides or in their drawing-room depart- 
ments, will arrange these matters. But would they 
leave the comforts of their home and assume the duties 
of nurse in a Scutari or Crimean hospital ? How would 



190 BROWN, JONES, AND ROBINSON AT HOME. 



they like, at dead of night, when all others except the 
wounded and dying were enjoying an undisturbed re- 
pose, to traverse the long, dark, and lonely corridors of 
a Scutari hospital in search of wards where dying sol- 
diers required their aid ? Miss Nightingale's kind 
deeds are, or at least should be, so familiar with all, that 
I do not think fresh testimony is needed to show that no 
lady in the land, no matter what may be the length of 
her purse or pedigree, is entitled to rank before her in the 
people's estimation. Could the graves around Scutari or 
the Crimea give up their dead, the brave, though now 
almost forgotten, who are smouldering in that far-off 
clime, would hasten to render their profound thanks to 
her who in the hour of their tribulation forsook them 
not. Although Miss Nightingale courts neither the 
flattery or parading which seem to so highly delight 
others, still I think it is neglectful of her once-admirers 
to calmly permit these others to be by certain gallant 
gentlemen placed on that pinnacle in the people's 
estimation which alone belongs to her— at least while she 
is among us, as, if rumour be correct, and I fear in this 
instance it is too true, she is now severely though silently 
suffering from the effects of her unceasing exertions and 
attention to those who needed it in a foreign land. 
We should bear in mind that only a few years have 
elapsed since British valour was valiantly displayed, and 
British honour nobly upheld at the Crimea ; and that 
when the tempest of war most furiously swept through 
our ranks, Florence Nightingale was ever at hand to 
render assistance. She heeded not the dangers around 
her ; her only anxiety was for the welfare of others. 
Other ladies may be good, charitable, and dearly loved 
by certain gallant gentlemen, but these are not sufficient 
reasons why these gallants should, in the height of their 
quixotical addresses, place them next the Queen on the 
throne in preference to Miss Nightingale, whose kind- 



BU0WN, JONES, AND ROBINSON AT HOME. 191 



ness and sisterly example inspired a feeling of gratitude 
even among the unthinking Turks, which, if we may 
judge from their expressions of regret at her departure, 
will not soon be forgotten. I fancy I hear a Turk at 
dusk of eve, as he gazes upon the gloomy exterior of 
Scutari hospital, utter something like the following : — 

In the stillness of eve, on Scutari's lone vale 

One may list now in vain for that sweet Nightingale, 

Whose voice I oft heard at midnight's dull hour, 

Lulling to rest both the wounded and sore ; 

Then where has she gone ? has she fled for repose 

To some rural valley where but very few knows ? 

Or has her fond melody, so oft 'mong us, flown, 

Been wafted away to her dear English home ? 

Be that as it may, I ne'er can forget 

How she soothed the dying and eased their regret ; 

No, though Turk as I am, I never shall fail 

To remember the kindness of Miss Nightingale. 

When her kindness is remembered with the warmest 
gratitude by the Turks, surely we, who boast of being 
her enlightened countrymen, cannot be altogether 
forgetful. Nor can we expect the generality of persons 
who have not experienced her kindness to so highly 
appreciate her worth as those who, like you and me, 
almost daily beheld her anxiety to render every comfort 
to those who needed it. I should not have touched on 
this topic, only for the fact of our ears being almost 
daily stormed with the trumpeting of praise bestowed 
on others who scarcely ever left their fireside or did any 
service except to present a silver bugle, while Miss 
Nightingale and the other ladies who accompanied her, 
and shared in her noble efforts to rendei' every assistance 
to our wounded and dying soldiers at the Crimea 
Would seem to be forgotten. Though I mention Miss 



192 BROWN, JONES, AND ROBINSON AT HOME. 

Nitghingale in particular, I do not mean to forget her 
kind companions, who are alike worthy of j)raise. But 
to follow our official mode of describing an engagement, 
&c, it is never deemed necessary to mention the merits 
of each individual, although all may have equally shared 
in the glory of victory. So with Miss Nightingale and 
her noble band of companions. As an army would be 
but of little use without a superior commander, the 
ladies who embarked on that merciful and hazardous 
mission required the skill and aid of that efficient 
directress. Hence it is that all of us who witnessed and 
experienced her kindness cannot refrain from looking 
with an eye of jealousy or disapproval on beholding 
persons try to almost forcibly place others before her in 
the people's estimation. 

Now my old friends, although I have indulged in a 
rather long rigmarole about Miss Nightingale, I assure 
you I would rather some person who was more 
competent to do justice to her kindness had undertaken 
the task; and although I have been rather plain in con- 
trasting her worth with that of others, still you must not 
imagine I try to disparage the worth of other ladies. 
Certainly not ; bless their little hearts, I like all of them, 
although when they want a bonnet, extra pair of boots, 
or a long milliner's bill discharged, they may appear 
naughty girls, still we cannot do without them ; our very 
existence is wrapped up in their keeping. But on the 
principle of justice, we must draw a line of demarcation 
between ordinary and extraordinary merits, This is all 
I have attempted to do. And now that I am satisfied 
I have inflicted severe punishment by claiming your 
attention while reading this long rigmarole, 

I remain, as usual, 

Your troublesome friend, 

Brown* 



BROWN, JONES, AND ROBINSON AT HOME. 193 



[Letter No. 2J 

Brown to Jones and Robinson. 



Dear Old Turkoes, Pimlico, 

I received yours of the 21st, and am sorry to 
hear that your progressive prospects are somewhat 
similar to my own, for as astrologers say, my planet just 
now is very much in the descendant ; but so long as it 
does not get in conjunction with Mars, it may not 
indicate a hopeless aspect. It is often better for one to 
continue stationary than move on the axles of skirmish- 
ing or opposition, besides, as it is an old remark that 
many a dark and dreary morning brings forth a bright 
and shiny day, perhaps our gloomy present may be 
turned into a brighter future, that is if those big planets 
who rule the destinies of the lesser ones will alter their 
opinion as to our merits, and not keep us too long in the 
background. At all events, it is no use fretting or 
grumbling; there is a good time coming boys; and 
when it does come, what matters though it has been 
a long time coming. 

This is a charming end of the town to reside 
in. By residing here one sees the most wonderful of 
sights ; you can behold strange -looking specimens of 
lords of the creation, from the Judge Advocate to the 
Barber's Clerk in their most dandified style. You can 
also perceive numerous assortments of Eve's representa- 
tives, from Maria the scullery maid to Georgiana Amelia 
Teresa, the serious-looking matron, who since the five- 
flounce petticoat has been baptised by Eugenie, glides 
along in full trim, carrying nearly as much canvas as a 
man-of-war's jolly boat. There is no end to the number 
of self-constituted gentlemen who infest this western 
hemisphere, whose incomes or salaries average from one 
to two hundred pounds a year — a few of them may have 



194 BROWN, JONES, AND ROBINSON AT HOME. 



a trifle more, and a great many much less. I need 
scarcely remind you that they are extensive purchasers 
of pegtops, eye-glasses, rings, flash guards, and all the 
other appendages of would-be respectability. It is 
laughable to see these specimens of gentility strut about 
the streets, with their hands in their empty pockets, 
penny cigars in their potatoe traps, bits of imperials on 
their upper lips, and with their " 'pon my honor, the 
clouds look heavy ; positively the weather has latterly 
been so awfully disagreeable^ that the parks are quite 
deserted, and the club rooms so crowded to excess that 
one is puzzled to know how to wile away one's time," — 
indeed it is amusing to behold these would-be imitations 
of gentlemen, who to prove they are respectable or 
respectably connected, contrive to procure apartments 
in some fashionable square, where a few days after their 
arrival a livery servant enquires if Master Joseph Henry 
Theophilus resides there. Johnny has scarcely de- 
parted, when a groom with a pair of horses, one for 
himself and one for Henry Theophilus, calls. Shortly after 
a carriage, with, of course, a regular retinue of servants, 
stops at the door ; the footman rings the visitors' bell. 
Its arrival is announced to Theophilus; he pretends to 
be much displeased at friends calling upon him without 
acquainting him of their intended visit. Still he must 
look over tbe present breach of etiquette, as on this 
occasion it turns out to be his dear Aunt, who, having 
just returned from her country seat, felt anxious to see 
him. I need scarcely remind you that after such 
respectable visits, Joseph Henry Theophilus had every 
attention lavished upon him ; his landlady remarked, 
and the servants echoed it, that he must be a thorough 
gentlemen, and highly connected. The fact of his aunt 
returning from her country seat, and calling upon him 
in the style of a duchess, proved his respectability and 
standing in society* When the matron and servants 



BROWN, JONES, AND ROBINSON AT HOME, 195 

had given their verdict in his favour, it was then the 
young misses' turn to pass their opinion. They agreed 
with Ma — that he must be a gentleman of no mean 
pretensions; but what about his Aunt, — was she a 
maiden lady, if so, there were brilliant prospects in 
store for him, and whoever he was destined to lead to 
the altar. They came to the conclusion that so far as 
they could judge from present appearances, he was en- 
titled to more attention and consideration than any 
bachelor acquaintance they knew of — indeed Teresa 
Louisa said it was a lucky star that directed him thither ; 
would it not be nice to have somebody to talk to after 
one's dinner, and to act as an escort when going to the 
opera, or it might be to have an occasional ride in Aunt's 
carriage. Theophilus lived like a prince in this 
fashionable square, was supplied as a matter of right 
with a key of the gardens, had a magnificent eye-glass 
which he used to perfection, was most polite to the lady 
promenaders whom he met in his walks — and as a 
matter of respectability, had a sitting in H — y Tr — y 
Church, and a season ticket for the Crystal Palace. 
But poor coxcomb, although he could cleverly imitate 
the fop, he sadly lacked of common or indeed any kind 
of sense, and to keep up his assumed respectability he 
procures a month's leave from his employers, must go 
to some fashionable watering place ; is rather short of 
money just then, his Aunt, as he said, not having sent 
him his usual remittance. His landlady supplies him 
with whatever he requires, but on his return from en- 
joying the sea breeze, things begin to assume a more 
gloomy aspect, the carriages or saddle horses not calling 
so frequently as they did after his first arrival, caused 
his landlady to one morning after breakfast rather gravely 
enquire if his Aunt was out of town, to which he replied, 
ce Oh yes, dear Aunt is on the Continent ; I expect the 
next Marseilles mail to bring me tidings of her speedy 

0 



196 BROWN j JONES, AND KOBINSON AT HOME. 



return." The matron pauses, then says, " well Sir, it 
appears very strange, your Aunt promised to let me 
have one hundred pounds by the 1st, it is now the 
20th, and she on the Continent." Joseph looks rather 
blue, he sees that Hookey "Walker must soon be his 
name ; but how is he to get away the many pairs of 
new boots, pegtops, and numerous other materials, 
which upon the strength of his Aunt's respectability, 
foolish tradespeople did not hesitate to supply him with. 
How to get these tally articles away for a time puzzled 
him ; but he soon thought of a plan by which he suc- 
cessfully carried out his idea, left his landlady in the 
lurch, and caused the young Misses to be more reserved 
before they pronounce flash-looking folks to be perfect 
gentlemen. 

Many of these idle swindlers are the kind of persons 
who in parks and other fashionable resorts, by 
cutting a dandyfied dash, attract the attention of — Oh 
no, I must not mention them ; — but who, if a person 
because he did not happen to be fashionably attired, 
should dare look at them, they could almost freeze him 
with their frowns. Such is the way in our present days ; 
but in the good old times of yore it was quite the reverse, 
a man was a man just the same then, and as much thought 
of, when dressed in corduroy, buckskin, or frieze, as in 
broad-cloth ; but now-a-days the making of a man is to 
a great extent confined to the cut or quality of his gar- 
ments. Yet I cannot see much consequence to be 
attached to the occupying of pegtop pantaloons, except 
one can furnish their extensive pockets with that respect- 
able commodity called golden guineas. If persons, by 
industry, their abilities, or lawful means, possess that 
nice and best of friends, a long purse, then by all means 
let them patronise whatever style they please. They 
can afford to do so without injuring others ; they have 
a right to follow their inclination in whatever manner 



BROWN, JONES, AND ROBINSON AT HOME. 197 

they please. To these persons I have nothing to say. 
I look with pleasure as they rest on the oars of indepen- 
dence; they are some of the bright, because privileged 
specks which appear on the surface of our creation ; but 
those shy-strikes or would-if-they-could-but-they-can't 
folks, should be rooted out of every locality, until by 
keeping them moving they were brought to their senses. 
I know it is a source of great gratification to any one 
to think that he is somebody ; aye, and to let people 
know he has authority. Poor fellow ! he forgets that if 
he would but look back only a short time hence, and 
see from what he sprang, it would frighten him out of 
any sense he might possess. But it is no use preaching. 
It matters little whether he be a perfect|blockhead or 
not, so that he cultivates a moustache, and in outward 
appearance resembles a gentleman, he is admitted into 
genteel society, until, like Joseph Henry Theophilus, he 
happens to be found out. I am surprised that sensible 
people cannot detect the assumed airs of these self- 
constituted gents, and turn their backs upon them. 
Although but a simple individual, who scarcely ever 
mixed among refined society, still I can with a glance 
distinguish a lady or gentleman from these shy-strikes ; 
the cut of their jib, their gait when walking, or ideas 
when talking, will tell upon them. I will for the present 
let them waddle through the mire of their consequence, 
but shall at some future time paint some of them in 
their true colours, with their pedigree as a tincture or 
colouring to show off their perfection. I almost forgot 
to tell you that the horses, carriages, and livery servants 
which waited upon Joseph Henry Theophilus, were 
hired, and the person who represented his aunt was 
some known acquaintance with whom he no doubt had 
to share some of the profit derived from his stay in the 
square — as profit he must have had ; it cost nothing for 
his keep, he daily borrowed money from his landlady, 

0 2 



198 BROWN, JONES, AND ROBINSON AT HOME. 



and the house was constantly besieged by jewellers, 
tailors, and other tradespeople soliciting orders, as his 
landlady was a most respectable and respected person, 
she having resided for many years in the locality, and 
was in easy circumstances. She did not require to take 
in a single man lodger as a pecuniary aid, but being a 
widow lady and her two daughters most of their time 
away at a boarding school, felt rather lonely, and having 
a strong recommendation with Joseph Henry, as to his 
morality and religious turn of mind, thought his pre- 
sence would make her dwelling appear homely. Besides 
Adelaide was getting out of her teens, quite time to 
leave a boarding school and become domesticated. 
Here was an opportunity for Joseph Henry, had but his 
pocket allowed him occasionally to order a carriage and 
retinue of livery servants to accompany his Haymarket 
aunt to his lodgings. But no, alas! the aunt required 
more for her official visits than he could continue to 
give her, and so he went where all puppies are sure to 
go — to the dogs. 

If you are good lads, and promise me you can 
stand the operation, I will, when you next call to see me, 
have you transformed into gentlemen. We will have a 
ride in a coach, it wont cost much; and oh ! wont we 
cut a swell. But mind, you must bring plenty of small 
silver with you, such as three and four-penny pieces, 
you know poor folks will be surrounding our carriage 
windows, and we must act the gentleman by pretending 
to be charitable ; and as gentlemen do no not carry 
copper, we must follow their example; and as charity 
begins at home, I am resolved to leave you to demon- 
strate our gentility at your own expense. Nor can you 
grumble for being on this occasion liberal, knowing that 
it will convert vou into gentlemen. I know some folks 
who regularly go to church except when a charity or 
some such sermon is about to be preached — but on these 



BROWN, JONES, AND ROBINSON AT HOME. 199 



occasions the pew-openers allow the first comers to 
occupy their sittings, well knowing that their owners 
will be absentees. There is another class of persons, Who 
although they don't like to shell out the rhino, wish to 
keep up their respectability by not causing folks to 
notice their absence. These half-and-half respectables 
gather all the small silver coins they possibly can on a 
Saturday night, to be prepared for Sunday morning, 
and with a little offering make themselves appear big 
people. You must follow their example on this occasion, 
and like good fellows, get a pair of bellows, blow off the 
smoke and other noxious East-end vapours. As you 
are so anxious to receive long letters, I hardly know if 
this is long enough ; if not, let me know, and my next 
shall be longer. 

Yours as usual, 

Brown, 

--eS^?^$^^W- 

Letter No* 3* 

From Brown to Jones and Robinson. 

Dear Friends, 

With regard to your kind enquiries concerning 
my health, &c, I am happy to have to inform you that 
I am quite well, and never was in better spirits, which 
is to a great extent accelerated by the fact of perceiving 
a lady who strongly resembles Belinda. And when I 
assure you that this lady is in every respect a perfect 
prototype of Belinda, it is, without any exaggeration, 
certifying that she cannot, as regards amiability and per- 
fection, be surpassed in the metropolis. On first behold- 
ing her, surprise took such strong possession of me that 
for a considerable time I remained motionless ; nor could 
I, until she entered her dwelling, believe but it was 



200 BKOWN, JONES, AND KOBLNSON AT HOME. 



Belinda ; even then I many times passed and repassed 
her windows, trying to get a glimpse at her, until I began 
to fear she might notice my attention and deem it rudeness. 
But it was not rudeness ; I could not be rude to one 
who so strongly resembles her whom I had with regret 
to leave a pining prisoner in the Old Seraglio. Close to 
her dwelling is a nicely cultivated garden, where other 
ladies occasionally promenade, some of whom, it is said, 
possess more than an ordinary share of beauty and 
gracefulness. But when she who resembles Belinda is 
in view, the fairest of them are to her only as rushlights 
are to candles. You should see her when either on foot 
or horseback ; there is something so commanding and 
graceful about her movement, which would at once con- 
vince you that she required no artificial remedies to 
complete her perfection. 

Now a few words about Turkey. Although we are 
once more among smiling faces and familiar friends or ac- 
quaintances, we must not forget the many dreary hours 
we passed at Constantinople. Perhaps you may say it 
is unwise to encumber one's mind with the gloomy 
thoughts of the past. I do not think so — for this reason, 
that if we accustom ourselves^to only keep in view the 
bright visions of our pleasures, when a dark figure 
presents itself we are almost frightened to death. 
We are not accustomed to behold such a ghastly object, 
we cannot bear its presence ; yet the fact is that we must, 
we cannot help ourselves. Every dog has his day; we 
had ours of sunshine, we must also expect a little storm. 
You may say, "Well, but we are now away from 
Turkey and the Turks, why trouble ourselves about 
them? let us bask in contentment." Not a bit of it. 
Our eyes must occasionally direct their gaze across the 
Mediterranean, and see if there is any alteration about 
to be made for the better among the inhabitants of 
Turkey. We have a right to look with a wistful eye 



BROWN j JONES, AND ROBINSON AT HOME. 20l 



towards them, or why go to their assistance, or leave 
the bones of thousands of our countrymen scattered 
over their wild mountains. Yes, we have a right to 
see that a little progress be made among them with 
regard to a reform in their system of laws and religious 
freedom. We want to see the Christians w r ho reside 
among them placed, if not on an equality, at least a 
little more in advance to what they now are. And we 
want to see some kind of security or protection afforded 
to those whose inclination leads them to relinquish 
Mahomedanism for Christianity ; we want to see 
every ship which leaves our shores for the East, take 
one or more missionaries who, being armed with gospel 
truth and determination, would try to win the Turks 
from the baneful influence of Mahomedanism. Turkey 
offers many more favourable advantages for the success 
of missionaries than other heathen countries. It is 
already to a tolerable extent Christianized ; the Arme- 
nians are staunch in their belief of Christianity, but they 
must not offer any inducement to their Mussulman 
neighbours to leave the path of belief which the Koran 
points out for them. The Armenians are too closely 
watched and the penalty so severe if found to tamper 
with any follower of Mahomed, that they cannot, they 
dare not, venture to impress them with Christian prin- 
ciples. But were a well-organised staff of missionaries, 
say of different denominations, to proceed from this 
country, when under the mantle of England they would 
be treated with a thousand times more consideration 
than if they were natives of Turkey. There may be a 
few missionaries there already, but these few are insuf- 
ficient ; there is something required beside scripture- 
reading. A small portion of sugar gives tea a nice 
flavour. For missionaries to proceed there and merely 
distribute tracts, and occasionally converse with the 
inhabitants, would have no more effect than the barking 



202 BKOWN, JONES, AND ROBINSON AT HOME. 



of a dog. They must, to become successful, administer 
an occasional dose of kindness in the shape of piasters. 
An empty belly is, in my opinion, too cold a repository 
for spiritual consolation to find a permanent dwelling- 
place in it. The Turks are very temperate, so that 
missionaries would not have to encounter the obscene 
revelries or bravo opposition of brawling drunkards 
which they might often meet at home. Beside their 
mission to Turkey would be a noble undertaking; it 
was from that land of the East that the light of redemp- 
tion first shone upon us, and although missionaries 
may be of different denominations, they should manifest 
Christian example and forbearance towards each other, 
by meeting as friends and fellow-labourers, instead of 
passing each other with a cool nod or it's a fine morning. 
Let them imitate our rural clergymen. I once knew a 
parson and priest who dined and supped together at 
least twice a-week, and after dinner smoked their pipes 
and talked of politics ; but when Sunday came they 
abused each other most dreadfully, which pleased their 
congregations and supplied them with fresh gossip after 
their nest dinner. Do you think these two rural soul- 
savers were a bit worse men than those who, when they 
meet each other in the street, hold down their heads ? 
decidedly not — they were jolly old chaps, and as care- 
ful shepherds as ever watched over a congregation of 
Protestants or Catholics ; by all means let each mis- 
sionary gather as many sheep into his fold as he possibly 
can, but let him also bear in mind that so long as they 
can be taken off the scorching pasture of Mahomedanism 
and placed within the pale of Christianity, it is not of 
so much consequence to which congregation they belong, 
they are free from the trammels of Koran superstition 
and blasphemy. 

But enough, I must conclude, or you will fancy I 
have turned Methodist preacher. You express anxiety 



BK0WN, JONES, AND EOBINSON AT HOME. 203 



to see a copy of some of Belinda's letters. Well as 
you are curious old fellows, I will if you have a little 
patience, for the sake of old acquaintance, let you see 
our full correspondence, because it contains nothing 
which might cause us to feel timid in allowing the eye 
of curiosity to gaze upon it. Did it contain but half a 
syllable which in the slightest manner might affect the 
honour of her who is now far away, rest assured that no 
eye but my own should ever behold it ; but as it does not, 
I will at some future time satisfy your curiosity, and I 
am satisfied you will be surprised at the pretty and poet- 
ical style in which Belinda's letters are couched. She 
is as clever a little nymph with the pen as she is command- 
ing and fascinating in person. I cannot promise as to 
the precise time I will let you see our correspondence, 
as well as an account of the intrigues of other parties of 
which you have no idea ; it will constitute a portion of 
a book or pamphlet. You may laugh at the idea of 
your humble servant attempting to write a book ; I 
assure you I can as successfully fill a book with nonsense 
as many other writers. Are you not aware that any 
aspirant who can command forty or fifty pounds, may 
have his name paraded as an author ? and what matters 
to him whether in his case the old proverb be fully 
verified, that a fool and his money soon parts, so long 
as he indulges in his gratification. 

I remain as usual, 

Yours truly, 

Brown. 



204 BROWN, JONES, AND ROBINSON AT HOME. 



[Letter No. 4.] 

From Brown to Jones and Kobinson. 

Dear Old Friends, 

As these are times of such progressive achiev- 
ments and constitutional alterations, that the King of 
to-day is often the exile of to-morrow, and as the voice 
of liberty is fearlessly echoed in almost every other land, 
let us while gladly hailing such welcome tidings, ask 
why there is no such cheering voice in Turkey. How 
is it that the old putrified atmosphere of no advance 
still hovers around the portals of its political 
horizon — or how is it that closed doors and secure 
windows are still the only reporters or sentinels permitted 
to watch over or report upon the decision of its councils? 
Shall I tell you? it is because there is no freedom of 
speech or a free press allowed to reign where Mahomed- 
anism rules — they could not agree, their ideas are too 
much opposed to each other. Mahomedanism requires 
the shield of secrecy to cover its dark mysteries. That 
talkative boy, called Liberty, if once allowed to speak, 
might get prattling so much about what he saw, and so 
open people's eyes to the cause of their degradation and 
misery, that he must either keep his tongue still, or with 
a silken cord adjusted round his neck, or a sack thrown 
over his head, be sent down among the dead men ; poor 
little fellow, methinks I see him as the big fishes gather 
around him, with a calm dignified countenance, shouting 
" Better by far to be thus treated than through a life of 
bondage have to silently witness my countrys* anguish. 
They have done their worst — they stopped my tongue 
by depriving me of life, but my last words shall be 
liberty, and away with the manacles of tyranny ! I go to 
my forefathers where no tyrants reign." Poor little 



BROWN j JONES, AND ROBINSON AT HOME. 205 

fellow, I could almost shed tears for him, he was so 
young, so good and generous ; but as kind souls are 
mostly called away while worthless ones are allowed to 
remain, let us as a homage to their memory remember their 
last words and try to follow them. Turkey is not yet 
past the power of redemption. Our own and all other 
nations were at some time overshadowed by dark 
clouds, the beacon of freedom did not always so bril- 
liantly shine over our own land as it now does ; we had 
dark days at home, as well as others now have them 
abroad. And how have they become bright ? or why is 
England at this moment the most enviable, because the 
most free and enlightened nation in the world? It is 
because she has a free press, and allows everyone to 
think as he feels inclined upon religious matters. The 
beauty of England's grandeur, and the existence of that 
beauty, is in the liberty of the press ; the press is the 
engine which keeps her greatness in motion. Were the 
working of that powerful engine to cease, her grandeur 
would become eclipsed, and her people lose that 
instinct or power which spurs them to enterprise and 
independence. No one so long as right is at his side need 
lack the means of redress, or want of righting his 
wrongs, as he has in the editor of a newspaper the best 
advocate he could employ, who would in his editorial 
remarks enlist public sympathy on their behalf, which 
if once thoroughly enlisted, will, like the waves of a 
troubled ocean, lash most disagreeably against those 
who deserve their rebuke. From an editor's study the 
morning and evening post carries tidings to every home- 
stead ; the proceedings of the cabinet council, or 
discussions in both Houses of Parliament, are as freely 
and fearlessly criticised by him as are the Divorce Court 
proceedings by Sir Cresswell Cresswell. He has not to 
bandy his words to please this or that personage ; 
although he must of course shape them according to the 



206 BROWN, JONES, AND ROBINSON AT HOME. 



interest of whatever political party he represents. When 
retiring for repose his thoughts need not be disturbed 
by the fear of a picquet of soldiers calling upon him, and 
of a cold winter's night drag him from his bed and in a 
state of nudity lodge him in some underground apartment 
for the night, from whence he is in the morning in a half- 
frozen state, brought before a Sultan to account for why 
he dared to mention such and such matters ; and if he 
could not, which it would be impossible for him under 
such circumstances, satisfy his Majesty as to his right of 
authority in attempting to meddle with constitutional 
privileges, the august announcement of " Away with him" 
falls upon his ear like the knell of a prison bell when 
chiming the last hour of a culprit's existence. He well 
knows that Away with him signifies he is destined to no 
more wield an editor's pen. People may talk as they 
like about editors, their abilities, &c, and many self- 
opiniated individuals may fancy they could cleverly 
discharge an editor's duty. They forget that to be an 
editor of a respectable paper, which directs any political 
party, he must not only be a man of learning, but a 
thorough man of the world ; he must be able to direct 
the barque of his party how to best steer its course 
through the ruffled waves of opposition ; and he must, 
when that barque is successfully gliding over the smooth 
waters of victory, by acting as a skilful pilot, keep its 
crew together ; and by pointing out the way to unity, 
continue to keep them from drifting upon the sands of 
dissension, where if once their barque got stranded, 
though he were ever so experienced a mariner, he could 
scarcely save it from foundering. Who by the effects 
of his sarcasm can so effectively bring bounceable people 
to their senses, or so disagreeably touch their corns ; 
who by his appeal to the benevolent, can dry the 
widow or orphan's tear; or when any dreadful calamity 
occurs, induce persons to open their purse-strings and 



BROWN/ JONES, AND ROBINSON AT HOME. 207 



throw oil upon the troubled waters ; or who either 
raises a man from obscurity or condemns him to oblivion. 
It is well known that many of our past and present 
eminent statesmen, lawyers, and writers, are or were 
indebted to the press for their success; while others who 
were quite as clever, but because they did not happen 
to sail under the same tack, sunk into forge tfulnesss. 
Let us in England bless our stars that if w orthy we can 
have the aid of such a powerful agency. Would that 
Turkey could possess such a staff. Were the freedom 
of the press allowed to reign in its dominions, and 
editors permitted to advise, direct, and oppose as they 
do here, in a short time Turkey would be entitled to 
rank as a second-class nation. Cannot some remedy be 
applied to try to have freedom of speech or freedom of 
the press established there ? Why not some of those 
millionaires who have long purses and are inclined to do 
good for their fellow-men, expend a trifle in trying to 
get the light of liberty to shine in other countries as it 
appears at home ? by aiding in such a noble cause they 
would be blessed by future generations. It is all very 
well for those who are in possession of the loaves and 
fishes, to stick to them like leeches, but why should 
millions be made to mourn for the sake of a few ? If old 
laws and customs cannot be made consonant with present 
feelings and the progress of the times, condemn them 
as obsolete; and if their framers or keepers will not 
sensibly consent to have them altered, send them about 
their business ; better one or two should sink than have a 
whole nation crawling upon the surf of misery. If the 
advisers at the Sublime Porte woidd but establish a free 
press, allow reporters to attend their council and other 
meetings, and without fear of forfeiting their lives, to 
faithfully report their proceedings, and let people know 
how financial and other matters stood, and permit editors 
to expose patronage, jobbing, and such disgraceful pro- 



208 BROWN, JONES, AND ROBINSON AT HOME. 3 7 



ceedings, I'll lay my head that the freedom of the press 
would speedily work the salvation of that beautiful though 
benighted country. Trusting this rigmarole is long 
enough, 

With best wishes, I remain as usual, 

Your troublesome friend, 
Brown. 



THE END. 



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I 



